well, i'm home. home sucks and is boring.

but on the plus side, TTT came out today, and i'm going to see it in... 3 and a half hours! yay!

i was so about to post a nice happy blog but tiredness has overcome me. my flu-ridden (at least i think that's what this affliction is; it's not a cold, that's for sure, but it's got aches and pains and headaches. just no fever yet. anyway, i digress.) ass needs to get to bed.

goodnight.

HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass
of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

i'm blogging from a wireless connection! beautiful!

I finally bought an 802.11b card. They were at Fry's for $50 with a $30 mail in rebate - not bad, not bad at all. so yeah, exciting. yay wireless. yay!

my boyfriend is interviewing for a Real Job. like, a post-graduation full-time position. in richmond, virginia.

am i getting old?

dude, so i just updated (mostly removed old stuff) my website. weird.

not much to blog about. partied in oakland on friday night, that was fun... slept a lot this weekend, like always... painted "passion" tonight. i don't quite know if i like it yet, but i'll figure that out later. i need to get off my ass and make an online portfolio of my shit... spent fuckloads of time with tim, like usual, which i love. god, i'm so in love. it's pathetic.

"i'm sleeping later, waking later, eating less and thinking more" -everything but the girl

weirdo.

colin, on military training for sex: "i haven't gotten around to finishing the deed yet, but if it ever comes to that, i'll know what to do."

something really random about myself: i used to have the ingredients to my shampoo memorized. the shampoo bottle was just about at eye level in my shower at home - it was in a hanging caddy beneath the shower head. so while i was washing myself, there was nothing to look at except the ingredients and other tidbits on the label of the shampoo. i found myself, at a very young age, memorizing how to pronounce that long chemical name that's in every shampoo on the market - methylchloroisothiazolinone, and its slightly shorter cousin, methylisothiazolinone. what the hell these organic molecules are, i have no idea, but i used to repeat their names to myself to the tune of this song I used to play on the piano entitled "Knight Rupert" (why can't i remember who it was by???). god, i was a weird kid. anyway, i've noticed lately that i haven't got reading material in the shower - my shampoo is down by my feet rather than on a rack at eye level, and thus my brain is left to its own devices, devoid of any inspiration, while i'm showering. i feel as though my brain is going completely unused during this period of time - an entire 20 minutes of unused gigaflops or whatever. i wish that assigned reading for classes were printed on the shampoo bottle. i'd get more of it done.

wow, once again a long hiatus. i need to get more regular about this whole blogging thing. i guess i'm just so busy living my life that i don't have time to write about it as much. i really hate the idea of killing my blog, or discontinuing it, or anything, but i'm obviously not as regular of a poster as i used to be... blah. i've been coding a lot, studying some, drinking a lot of tea, and spending a lot of time outside my dorm. i love life, right now. it's wonderful.

today i decided to pick up another minor: cs. that's right. computer science minor. which makes most of my quarters from here on out 16 units or more, but that's still livable... i felt like a slacker with 13-unit quarters from here on out, so i'd been going through the bulletin thinking about what else (besides japanese) i could minor in. CS seemed like the most practical. I mean, it'll be a lot of work, but it seems that a CS minor will help me get a job if I can't get one in PD, or help me be more marketable in PD. *shrug* maybe i just enjoy coding. anyway, i think it's a positive decision, even though it's gonna be an assload of work.

last night was synergy's annual halloween party, which is always a lot of fun. lots of people, totally interesting costumes, blacklight-sensitive face paint, yummy food... it was a good night. there was a rumor flying that last year the brownies at the party had been "special" brownies, but no such luck this year. :P

tonight: coding. yay coding.

wow. i've been so damn busy, dude... i haven't blogged in forever. well... i think this past weekend was probably one of the best so far ever. i spent almost literally every moment possible with tim. and even after being together for literally the entire weekend, we still had things to talk about and weren't sick of each other or anything. *sigh* (:

other than that... went to a party on friday night in the city, which was pretty tight... lots of local dj's spinning trance, jungle, and house... it rocked hard until 1:30 when the cops showed up and decided to shut it down. i guess there was some illegal shit going down there, though i didn't even really notice. everyone there was under control, and enjoying themselves and not hurting anyone, so i don't see what their problem with it was. ah well - at least it was only a half hour early, rather than like at 10:30 or something.

classes are going well. i did a sweet art project on saturday night - i'll hopefully get some images of my art projects up on my webpage at some point in time. this one is a series entitled "ceremony - anger - festivity". each of the 3 pieces conveys one of the emotions - in white footprints on black paper. it's sweet. and it was hella fun to make too. paint is delightful on the feet. i'm thinking about redoing it, actually, on huge pieces of butcher paper, and enlisting other peoples' help with it too, how fun would that be, to have an art-making party, where you get your feet gooshy with tempera paint.

yeah. i feel bad for not updating for 10 days... i suck. ah well.

who's the new roth RCC? that's right. it's me. i'm so excited about it... yay... i'm a part of the house management staff, and an employee of residential computing. score.

i think art will be less frightening than i thought. today we had our first presentation of works. mine was actually about above average as far as quality goes. the teacher didn't rip into it too much, either - the only negative comment he made about it was that it was almost saccharine. but that it conveyed the emotion i was going for pretty well. i'm actually becoming re-excited about that class - it seems a lot less intimidating now. a lot of the works brought in were not nearly as cool as ideas i have in my head for the same assignments.

and now... i'm going clubbing, 'cause it's junior night at the Icon in palo alto, and though i'm not a junior, i can try damn hard to be one. and all the friends i'm going with are. and actually if you get technical about it (i.e. juniors being people who have 90 units) i am a junior. so there. (:

man, art is going to be scary. what's more, i have an idea for my first project, but it banks on me being able to go to the beach. i would have gone this weekend but i got sick yesterday :( so hopefully i can go on wednesday. which doesn't leave me much time to finish the project... hm. i guess i'll have to postpone that project until next week, and finish a different one for thursday. this art class is so insane - we have a list of 20 projects, of which we have to finish 15 before the quarter is done. which means we're basically turning in one every class. yikes. i should like, start 3 or 4 of them this week, have one done thursday, one tuesday, etc. argh, i'm gonna have to get to the art store, like, today. which sucks because i have a class from 2:15 to 3:05, and before that i have to eat lunch and watch my 106a lecture, and then at 6:30 i have a pres scholars gig to go to, which says it's a "dessert reception" which means fuck, i'll have to eat dinner before then. oh, and i'm expected to look nice for it too. yeesh. though a trip to university art shouldn't take more than an hour, so if i can convince tim to take me right after my japanese class i should be good to go. man.

i'm so glad i'm not taking more classes - i'd be swamped.

i drain the color from the sky and turn blue without you

first day of classes, dude. i think it'll be livable. japanese was slightly frightening, since the teacher talked really fast, but i think i'll readapt to the language. cs106a will be... easy. and i haven't had art yet. i shopped 106x but it sounds to me like it's going to be way too intense. i think that wiht those 13 units, i'll be plenty busy, but have enough free time to join the wind ensemble, be rcc (which i'm still crossing my fingers on) and do my PAAly duties.

and i'm on AIM boycott. email me or call me (you know the digits, or you should) - it's so much more fulfilling.

life is good.

someone kick my ass if i get lazy and don't sign up for an audition

dude, i'm here. i'm in roth, and it's home. after house meeting tonight i'm suddenly way more excited about living in roth. it turns out that the RCC position is open - they have an rcc in every row house (that's resident computer coordinator, for you non-stanford acronym-challenged types - the one to go to if you're having computer problems) but for some reason roth didn't get one. man.... i would LOVE that job. $600 a quarter. for doing... nothing. (: man.

it's so wonderful to finally be back.

home.

...and i'll see you on the other side. my flight takes off in 8 hours almost exactly. 14 until i'm there. this summer has finally come to a close...

i just decided to change the banner back to the bubbles. man, i loved those bubbles.

well. friday is just about over... only 2 more days, and 3 nights. that's a really weird thing to think about.

again. apologies for not blogging more often. i hope my blog isn't dying... i think i'll have more to blog about when i get back. i mean, life will continue. today i painted my sister's vanity area and packed some stuff.

i dug out the clarinet and played. that was kinda cool actually. i can still play a lot of stuff that i haven't played since graduation... that was a cool feeling. i definitely want to try out for the wind ensemble... i miss music.

yeah.

i wish i could just stay in bed tomorrow.

hm, haven't blogged in awhile. not sure why, maybe just 'cause nothing has happened here. started packing. wee. texas still sucks. 9 more days though. i can make it...

Fields of fire that passed the train
The sky is victorious but here comes the rain
Friday is taking me home again,
And I've nothing but you on my mind.

Grass is greener without the pain,
I think that I'm changing but I'm just the same
My sun is a ascending again
And I've nothing but you on my mind

Sometimes I feel like I'm glad to be free,
Sometimes I still want your arms around me
Sometimes I'm glad to have left you behind,
The Crazy English Summer has put you back on my mind.

Life's a riot a lover a friend,
Pity the day that it has to end
Friday come speed me home again,
I've nothing but you on my Mind.

Sometimes I feel like i'm fine on my own,
Fifty Thousand miles from home.
Sometimes I'm weak and the past is my guide,
Summer returns and puts you back on my mind

-faithless, "crazy english summer"

new to my music library in the past day or two: groove armada. hooverphonic. everything but the girl. massive attack. faithless. ambient alternative slash trip hop slash chillout slash downtempo kicks ass. highlights: faithless, crazy english summer and don't leave, massive attack, angel. very, very good stuff.

hm, this new track just gave me a kickass idea for a new theme. its the ambient mix of "beautiful strange" on the ministry of sound chillout 2002... beautiful\strange... i think it's me. woohoo.

awww, fuck. i missed my bloggiversary. it was yesterday. yay.

new cool song: days go by [acoustic] by dirty vegas. i never would have guessed that such a trancey, electronically-created song could have an acoustic version. but it's totally good. i don't know if i dare say it's better than the original, it's definitely different, and hard to compare. but it rules.

i feel as though over the past couple of weeks or months i've become an exceedingly negative person. i complain, i bitch, i moan and i whine. i'm probably bringing the people around me down and i feel shitty for doing that. it's not a personality trait, i don't think... i'm not constantly complaining when i'm at school (as far as i know... right?). the problem is that i'm in shitty circumstances - stuck at home for another 2 weeks without friends or a job to keep me sane - and it's bringing me down. i had a long talk with my mom tonight during which she basically told me that it would be "stupid" to go visit my friends in california just a week before i'll get out there ordinarily. okay, maybe it is too close to when i'll be going out there... BUT I WANTED TO GO SOONER AND YOU WOULDNT LET ME! IVE TRIED TO GO OUT THERE ALMOST EVERY WEEKEND SINCE THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST!!! am i being unreasonable to get this upset and pissed off about this? is it not normal for me to be disappointed that it will be 16 days, 6 hours, and 49 minutes until i take off from d/fw airport when i'd previously thought i might have been getting out of here in more like 5 days? is it unreasonable for me to shed a few tears when i think about the fact that if jessie had come through for me last week I WOULD BE WITH TIM RIGHT NOW? oh god, i can't even think about that. it hurts too much.

okay, i'm done. think happy thoughts. think happy thoughts. sorry about the bitchfest, but i think kathy was right a few months ago when she said something about not REALLY being a negative person, just having to take it out on the blog.....

big jon, the font of wisdom, on homoeroticism:

me: i think my boyfriend and his roommate have homoerotic tendencies
me: what should i do?
biggie: hmm... get a big tub of vaseline and a close girlfriend and show them how they make you feel?
me: hmmm
me: maybe
biggie: creamed corn would work instead?
me: it might
biggie: or baby oil?
me: hmmm
me: the edibility of the creamed corm lends it a certain intrigue
biggie: amen

last night i had a really whacked dream. i went to some other school, like a midwestern state university or something. anyway the entire campus seemd to be this one building. if you wanted to get to the half that i was supposed to be on you had to go down a hall and then push a button and this really wide, rickety staircase would fold down out of the ceiling and you had to climb up it. then i was in a classroom and a teacher showed us a closet and we thought it was the coolest closet in the world, then he opened the back of the closet and there was this whole huge room type thing that was like an attic with unfinished walls and a bare wood floor but it had computers in it… and the walls and floor looked like they’d been finger painted by 6th graders.. i think at that point i turned into a 6th grader. and i looked out the window to see how the football game was going. it was tied at 69 to 69 but then the other team scored a touchdown. i think they were playing washington state. but the window in the room overlooked a huuuuge stadium with a massive crowd that could really only be found at a packers game or the olympics… and then when we walked back out of the long narrow attic like room the door that went into the closet turned out to just go outside, like a normal building. do you ever wonder when you wake up why you don’t question the things in your dreams more often? like why the hell wasn’t i all, hey, i don’t go to wisconsin or whatever, i go to fuckin’ stanford. or why didn’t i question the fact that the doors that once went into a closet suddenly opened up into the outside. why didn’t i question the fact that the WSU football team actually managed to score 76 points in a game (ha). then i wonder whether my whole entire goddamn life isn’t a dream, and how would i know, ‘cause i don’t have freaky doors or magic staircases. kinda makes you think, doesn’t it. but then, if life were a dream… it would have to be *someone*’s dream… and though i am the only person whose consciousness i experience, i don’t doubt that other people have consciousness too, and the idea that life is but a dream really negates the existence of other people. it’s a very selfish perspective. unless it’s some sort of consensual hallucination, but that conjures up the idea of the matrix which, you know, is entirely plausible but i’d prefer just not to think about right now. every time i have déjà vu, though, i subconsciously scan for changes in the matrix… like doors that previously went to closets suddenly opening into the wisconsin october. maybe it’s only in our dreams that we can tell that the matrix even exists. and maybe what we think is a dream is really not, like the agents and the freaky ass bug thing they stick in his belly button. and the way they like, gooed his mouth shut. all very nightmarish, but really happened. the only thing that keeps me convinced that my dreams don’t really happen is the fact that they usually occur in places far away from where i am… either that or irreversible things happen that have not occurred when i wake up, like that one time that my dad died in my dream. he’s not really dead; that dream can’t have been reality. and then i just kind of accept the fact that maybe i am just a player in someone else’s dream; maybe i’m really stuck in a pool of goo with plugs all up and down my spine; maybe i really just don’t exist... and then i usually end up going to bed.

...so checkit, new look. can't quite decide what i think. it's.... different. what do the masses think?

who wants to go see no doubt and garbage with jamie and i on 11.14.02 in san jose???

time schedule goodness! it's finally out! yay. anyway... here's my schedule! yay!

CS106A lecture: 9am MWF (eeeeeugh), section: 1:15 W
Art 60: 1:15-3:05 TTh
Japanese17B: 11am MTWThF
Wind Ensemble rehearsal: 4:15-6:05 TTh

for the record: i hate jessie wirkus. she sucks.

hey dj
tonight i'm seeing stars (repeat)
once again i found myself with my friends
dancing the night away it's like the party never ends
then again, we don't want it to stop 'cause
tonight's the night it's going sweat box
laser beams flashing lights
wild cards men from mars pressed in
stars and stripes eclectic electric
ladies of the evening drinkin booze and minglin
mashing to the music i could do anything
freaky deaky stars ??? and pink butterflies
it's nice so nice i walk into a club and i found paradise
i'm seeing stars i can't believe my eyes
i'm seeing stars
oh my starry eyed surprise sundown to sunrise
dance all night, we gonna dance all night dance all night
to this dj sugar dance all night to this dj
oh my starry eyed surprise sundown to sunrise
dance all night, we gonna dance all night dance all night
to this dj sugar dance all night to this dj
oh sugar dance all night to this dj

what the FUCK does oakie think he's doing with this new album? this sounds like a crazy town song. wait.... it IS a crazy town song. i really can't decide what the hell i think about this single... it's catchy. i might like it MORE if it weren't by oakenfold... it's like he's trying waaaay too hard to be mainstream. he's alienating the fans he used to have in the hardcore electronic music scene. it's such a shame.

stolen from joe's profile: "there are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't." hehehehehe.

i feel like such an mp3 bulemic. i go on such downloading binges - i downloaded almost a half a gig between last night and this morning. and now, i'm back under a gig of free space on my hd... it's time to compress. i hate converting from mp3 to wma for only one reason (giving into the Man doesn't particularly bother me) - it messes up the order of my music library. :( anyway, this recent downloading binge includes such mainstream trance favorites like darude, ian van dahl, iio and ATB... in addition to some AK 1200, a little bit of aphrodite, some chicane, some moby...

i really can't tell if liking artists like darude and ian van dahl is like selling out. i mean, they were on trance party for god's sake... and, from time to time, you can even hear them on top 40 stations. but then again, they're doing a huge favor for the masses -getting the sounds of trance and techno out there on the airwaves.

for the record - darude's "feel the beat" tries too hard to recreate the feel of sandstorm. it's a good track but the inclusion of sounds so reminiscent of the melody which makes sandstorm so distinctive almost detracts from feel the beat's own merits.

i've realized that i'm incapable of using a computer without at least 4 applications running. i have to have aim (as well as msn messenger), outlook, ie, and windows media player running in order to be able to function. upon every restart, i immediately open these 4 programs and leave them open until i have to reboot my computer, which is usually every 4 or 5 days. i think it's also a sign of my computer/internet addiction that, because it's a relative pain in the ass to open these 4 programs (plus any others i might need), i don't shut my computer down when i leave it, i merely throw it into hibernate. that way when i turn it back on, everything is there, ready and waiting for me. yeah, i'm an addict. hopefully i'll be able to kick the aim habit when i get to school - i think my life would will be more fulfilling without its distractions.

...sigh. i seem to have finally crossed the line that my parents crossed ages ago. i was talking to my sister when all of a sudden, *bam* i got this sense that she thinks that i'm a huge dork. i'm too old to be cool. i felt like my mom. it was a fleeting sensation, a moment of lucidity in an ocean of innocent bliss... but, even though i don't feel it right now, it's there. i'm old. i'm dorky. i inherently suck.

there's a possibility that i might be able to go to sunnyvale for about a week, in about a week. SAT II training for the princeton review starts on august 31 and runs through september 4. it's a compelling case - if i want to be able to teach for TPR this fall, i'll have to do this training. it also pays $10 an hour, which is more than i'll be making sitting on my arse at home, now that my job has vaporized. anyway, mom and dad haven't said that i can't go, which is almost always a good sign. all i'll have to do is call jessie first thing monday morning and get my name on the list for the trainings, and then buy a plane ticket. i'm a little bit excited about that prospect. in just 7 days, i might be back in california, the place i consider to truly be my home.

things i have now:
the guide to getting it on
this month's mixmag
a cool trance cd attached to said mag
an iced soy mocha in my tummy

things i do not have now:
a job

i sat at a red light for record time this afternoon on my way home from work. there had been an accident on 1709 between davis and the new fire station. evidently the accident went into both directions of lanes and took some massive cleanup. i don't think it was too major, but it did a lot to traffic, mostly because one of the cops on the scene parked his camaro facing the light at which i was stopped with his lights flashing. in our town, as in most places, the stoplights have sensors on them that tell them when an emergency vehicle is coming, which switches the light green in that direction and red in every other direction. so the light was stuck in one part of its cycle for about 15 minutes, leaving people trying to go the other 3 directions stranded with no options other than to sit and wait or pull illegal u-turns and get out of the mess.

i wouldn't have been sitting at that light for 15 minutes, the second car in line, stuck next to an 18 wheeler and behind a construction pickup with a ghetto trailer, if shit hadn't gone down at work earlier today. evidently the all-star grill is in trouble with TABC (that's the texas alcoholic beverage commission, a.k.a. the gestapo). i hope, plead, pray that they haven't lost their liquor license, because what is a sports bar without a liquor license? closed. yeah. so i'll find out tomorrow whether or not i still have a job. if not, it's time to formulate a plan b.

my plan b, of course, would involve leaving for california next week and getting a job out there. i'm sure i could crash at the house for the few remaining weeks left before i have to go back to school... i could work a real restaurant job, making $6.75 an hour plus tips (how sweet would that be), and be with my friends.
.......sigh..........

the only problem with trance is that the emotions a song conveys are impossible to put down on paper using just words. not that simply quoting the smashing pumpkins, "i promise we'll be perfect/strangers when we meet" does justice to the beauty of the melody, but at least it invokes the right feeling in people who are familiar with the song you're quoting. this is really frustrating when the songs that describe my mood are all trance. now, billy corgan's lyrics are wonderful and amazing poetry in and of themselves, so if someone were not familiar with the song i was quoting, they would at least have some idea of its beauty. however, when i try to quote the chicane song i'm playing over and over, it comes out all wrong, because the meaning isn't hidden between the words, it's in the music.

this one is really powerful to me, not because of its lyrics (which are not applicable and border on cheesy) but because of the melodic background, the gentle but driving beat that suggests looking forward, moving forward, always progressing. and so when i'm listening to trance, i tend to take the vocals as another instrument. the sounds and tones and syllables that the vocals form are not about their meaning in english, but about the feeling they evoke on a higher, euphoric, ethereal level. it's an amazing track.

if there was nothing that i could say
turned your back and you just walked away
leaves me numb inside i think of you
together is all i need
we moved too fast but i had no sign
i would try to turn the hands of time
i looked to you for a reason why
the love we had passed me by
and as the sun would set you would rise
fall from the sky into paradise
is there no light in your heart for me
you've closed your eyes you no longer see
there were no lies between me and you
you said nothing of what you knew
but there was still something in your eyes
left me helpless and paralyzed

-chicane, "no ordinary morning"

another reason i can't wait to get back: my mother is playing country music. the really catchy kind that can get stuck in your head really easily. and so i retreat to my headphones and my chicane...

today: adventuring with lauren and mulholland, then gelato with jamie and mulholland and witsaman. gelato is always exciting... it's such a drive. though i'm not sure it'll be the same without lizzie and nathan and biggie... damn lizzie for leaving for school with just one pathetic attempt to contact me. though i suppose she has moved on from her high school life in the same way that i have so i really can't fault her for caring more about getting back to duke than hanging out with people from the past.

my laptop needs a new processor fan.

grr

today is 4 weeks. actually, almost to the minute right now, until i get off the plane. it's actually a comforting thought, knowing that within 4 weeks, which is really not that long if you split it up into 2 2-week chunks, i will be back in california.... i mean, hell, only 2 weeks ago, the summer was only half over. i remember talking about how i could handle it being 51% over... and that was really not that long ago.

i can survive.

hm. i totally agree with him. california is a state of mythical proportions, a land of golden opportunity, a century after america has outgrown that title. it's almost like a symbol more than a state. a symbol of opportunity and freedom and excitement and whatever else you could ever possibly want.

it's all there in california, waiting for me.

29 days, 21 hours, 35 minutes and 45 seconds. the seconds cannot count fast enough.

you know what's frightening? if i didn't go to kyoto during my jr year, i could probably finish in 3 years.

don't tell my mom, please.

checkit, there's a counter at the bottom of the page. yeah, you guessed it, it's counting down until i leave this place to go back to stanford. 32 days and 14 hours right now.... yaaaay!

i really need to go through the GER's and figure out which ones I need to satisfy and which ones I have covered... and also whether I should rearrange my schedule and get GER's out of the way early on and do major requirements later... blah.

it's hard to believe that summer is actually passing. today there are only 33 days left until I get back. that's really barely over a month. i can deal with that. my time in tx is more than half over now, and my job is half over. what a comforting thought.

only taking 13 units in the fall will be amazing... wind ensemble... ultimate frisbee... PAAness... spending time with tim... working (and making money)... and still finding time to go out... drink coffee... hang out with friends... go to the gym... get to know the people in my dorm... go to the city... the beach... raves...

i just had an empowering thought. fuck aim. fuck it in the ass with a big rubber dick. i don't need some stupid aol program to talk to my friends. email or phones or *gasp* walking over to see someone would work so much better. when i get to school i'm going to stop using it all the time. i'm going to force myself to use the phone or my feet or email. i'm going to have a real relationship with people, not one based on electron impulses on a pane of glass. wow. what a cool thought.

so i just worked out a 4-year plan. i wish i had a copy of the bulletin and the time schedule, but neither are out yet... sigh. oh well. anyway, here goes:

sophomore year, autumn:
Art 60 (3 units) :: CS106A/E70 (5) :: Japanese 17B (5) == 13
sophomore year, winter:
ME 103 (4) :: ME103D (1) :: E 102M (1) :: E 60 (3) :: Japanese 18B (5) == 14
sophomore year, spring:
Art 160 (3) :: ME 80 (3) :: ME 120 (4) :: Japanese 19B (5) == 15

junior year, autumn:
Art 161 (3) :: Stat 60 (5) :: Psych 1 (4-5) == 12-13
junior year, winter:
ME 112 (4) :: E 50 (4) :: ME 115 (3) :: ME 110A (1) == 12
junior year, spring:
JAPAN! E 40 (5) == 5

senior year, autumn:
ME 116A, advanced PD (4) :: Asian Lang 91, China (5) == 9
senior year, winter:
ME116B (4) :: Asian Lang 92, Japan (5) == 9
senior year, spring:
ME 116C (4) :: ME 102 (3) == 7

this doesnt include other stuff i'll want to take for the hell of it, or stuff to take for GER's (if i haven't got them all covered). unit totals for junior and senior years are sure to go up. weee.

you would think that my computer would be able to see that i've been searching hp online tech support and calling the geeks at the tech support desk to see if i can fix this stupid machine, browsing ebay to see how much i could sell it for and apple.com to see if i can get something better and suddenly shape up and stop being shitty.

but NO, it goes on being a POS. yay.

tim: i got the entire class to do dry erase on the windows today
kat: lol
tim: cuz i was getting tired of the chalk board

hahahahaha

well, today is halfway. it's been 42 days since i left california, and i've got another 42 to go. of course, about 14 of the first 42 were spent outside of texas, so i'm not yet half-done with my days here, but still, i'm half-done with my days away from california. at least, since i'm hoping to get to go back a day or 2 early. man, i'm tired. it's only 10:00 and i've been up for 2 hours, and have mowed the lawn and swam. and now i have to go play cheerful happy hostess for a couple of hours. shouldn't take more than about 3, and then i'm going to hang out with jamie. weeeee!

eric - hope you survived your family reunion. don't you get to go home soon anyway? lucky...

i rarely agree with glenn reynolds, author of instapundit, the ny times of the blog, but inthis article on foxnews.com he sounds logical. hell, beyond logical - he's defending a part of my culture and way of life. go him!

'cause I need you
and I miss you
and now I wonder....
if I could fall
into the sky
do you think time
would pass us by
'cause you know I'd walk
a thousand miles if I could
just see you
tonight

wow, it's been awhile since i've heard u2's where the streets have no name. the intro to the song (the cd version, i dont think the little intro is on the single) just brought tears to my eyes. it's incredible.

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

The city's a flood
And our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Trampled in dust
I'll show you a place
High on a desert plain
Where the streets have no name

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

Our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
Oh, and I see love
See our love turn to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
Oh, when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

for some reason i feel a little guilty and like a sellout enjoying the new linkin park single. maybe it's because i've so vociferously hated them in the past. but anyway, "my december" is a beautiful song. i really enjoy its melancholy strings and stuff... i guess i'm just becoming an angst-ridden teen again.

i guess i don't mind.

stolen from noah's aim profile: "Said by DJ after we saw a car driving on the wrong side of the street (and not just the wrong side of the street, the wrong side of a concrete divider): 'That would probably shock me a lot more if I hadn't played so much Grand Theft Auto 3.'"

too true.

i've noticed in the past few weeks that i've been intentionally sleeping in a lot more than i did before. i used to get up after the first or second time my parents called or my alarm went off, grudgingly but up nonetheless. recently though i've been ignoring them for a lot longer into the morning. it's nice, really. but the reason, i think, is that the only way i can go to sleep at night is to equate my pillow to tim and convince myself that i'm really sleeping in his arms. then, it only makes sense that in the morning, i'd be more and more reluctant to leave my bed. it's like an extra ten minutes with tim, only not nearly as wonderful.

my hopes of surprising him with a visit later in the summer were effectively shattered this evening. my mom's words: "no, you're not going to fly across the country and miss precious days of work to go shack up with your boyfriend." goddammit. if she'd said yes, man, my life would have a new direction. i hate living in such a way that you're always reaching for something. i hate it when everything i'm living for is just a countdown in my aim profile. but that's what i've been reduced to: i'm looking forward to two events in my future. jamie's return from spain, just over a week away, and my return to california, 7 weeks away. my desire to hang out with the friends who are home right now has been reduced to virtually nothing. hours at work melt away quickly, though, as opposed to the hours at work last summer which barely crawled by. and it seems, at least for the time being, that days are passing relatively quickly too. i just hope that that effect won't go away now that i know i don't have a california visit in less than a month to look forward to.

you're fallin' back to me
the star that I can see
i know you're out there
somewhere out there
you're falling out of reach
defying gravity
i know you're out there
somewhere out there
-our lady peace

yeah, that previous blog? really came to light when i was channel-surfing. man it's been forever since i've plopped my ass down in front of the boob toob. i didn't even know we get super-digital-cable now, like the kind with 800 channels. evidently we've had it since february. but anyway, in my pathetic attempt to vegitate, i ran across "dude... where's my car?" wow. i watched about half an hour of it before i decided i wanted to throw up. and i'm one who enjoys mindless comedies.

i think i need for that kimbell exhibit to open now. i need stimulation.

i just finished a book i found on my mom's bookshelf called the bee season. the book itself was good, but man, did the ending disappoint. it just kind of drifted... the climax was the antithesis of what it was supposed to be... i hate books like that. i need something good to read, a trip to the library or half price books or SOMETHING. a movie, even. anything to stimulate my mind and make time pass.

there's an exhibit opening at the kimbell art museum (in fort worth) on august 17th that i'm really really looking forward to. piet mondrian: the path to abstraction. i'm totally excited. mondrian's exploration of the golden ratio fascinate me for some unknown reason. i think it's my deeply buried obsessive-compulsive side that loves perfection. anyway i'm really excited about that and i'm going to go to the members only preview the day before it opens.

i'm starved for intellectual stimulation. i crave problem sets. i miss discussion sections. i feel my japanese slowly being edged out by sparse spanish. i need something, anything to get my mind off the numbing nothingness of my job and life at home. but more than anything else i need california.

i've never been to a bar mitzvah. i think this borders on freakish. i survived my entire preteen-teen transition without having to listen to one kid sing from the torah. never told any newly 13-year-old "mazel tov." there's this entire rite of passage that i've missed out on.

i'm going to crash one someday. just show up with a little gift and tell some little jewish kid congratulations. see what the whole shit is about.

man. another day at work has come and gone. it's funny how quickly time passes while i'm at work. it's also really weird how i'm either running from place to place frantically or sitting on my ass. there is no middle ground between nothing to do and everything to do.

i've compiled a list of things i want to buy in the next year and a half.

wi-fi card - $80
visor edge - $150
cd burner - $100
cd mp3 player -$60-70
cellphone - $50 plus monthly payment
computer (iMac?) - $1500-2500
car - $3500-5000

those are in order, i think. but i'm not quite sure.

some movies, while good, should just not have sequels.

it seems that there has been a dearth of blogging in my little blogging circle. everyone must be out and about doing big and important things while i'm just stuck here at home with a shitty job and a huge debt to my parents. in light of the recent blog drought, however, i think it's time to put some fuel on the fire. it's time for the random blog question. (via the topic blog)

who are five celebrities that if you had the chance to hook up, mess around, or just have a fling with, who would they be, and why?

\first i'd have to go with seth green. i've had this weird thing for him ever since i saw him in austin powers 2 several years ago - something about the way he attacked dr. evil for being a bad father. "He put roadkill in my sheets! Your stupid Mini-... YOU!" After that i started watching buffy the vampire slayer pretty religiously, only for his character, oz, the sensitive, sarcastic, laconic werewolf. man, he was sexy in that show. i don't know what it is about him (he's only 5 foot 4 and not really that hot in a conventional way) but i've always been attracted to him. after seth, hmmm.

jason lee. he was so cute in chasing amy, even though he played a character with latent gay tendencies. come to think of it, he was kinda sexy in dogma too, playing all mr. evil and stuff.

justin timberlake. i'm not even going to try to justify that one.

alyson hannigan. probably just because she plays seth green's girlfriend on buffy. but then how freaking sexy was it in american pie when she just goes, "what, you think i don't know how to get myself off?" yeah. hmmm... that's 4. who would #5 be? let's see...

jude law. yes. jude law. his accent... so hot. in gattaca... in AI... yeah. he's hot.

runners-up: heath ledger. ewan mcgregor. hayden christensen. harrison ford. christian bale.

who would be on your list?

this picture makes me think a lot about what i have in california. what's waiting for me there and what i have to look forward to. look at the picture. i see more than just tim. i see tim's personality, i see a beach, i see california. i see alcohol and evidence of friends. and one damn sexy asian boy. that's what i have for me in california, only 55 days away from me.

i really don't like thinking about time as distance, but i can't help it sometimes. thinking about how tim and i are 1500 miles apart is less depressing than thinking about how we're 55 days apart, for some reason. maybe it's because 1500 miles can be traversed in a couple hours and can be accelerated if you really need them to be, whereas 55 days is immutable. also you could travel for 55 days and get almost as far as mars.

so last night was my third night of work. yay. it was exciting. i waited on a huge table of soccer parents. yay. they drank a lot, which was cool, and i got a substantial tip (though not enough for the amount of work i did). this morning we took my car back into the swedish motors place to fix something else, hopefully that will make it able to pass the emissions test. i think we're going to sell it at the end of the summer anyway. i might buy a early 90's civic or something to replace it. blah, i dont like the thought of that. but i'm not going to be able to take the volvo out to california 'cause it wouldn't make it and the rear differential is about to go out too. yay. that's a shitload of money. blah. but i have some money put away that i might be able to use to buy something else and take to school... i'm going to thinnk about that for a while.

in the meanwhile i'm going to sit at home and work a thankless job 6 days a week for barely minimum wage for the rest of the summer. yay. only 56 days now until i can move into my dorm though...

happy birthday tim. (: 20. i think you qualify as an old fart now.

ok, well today was definitely better. things are looking up in all directions. first of all, all the temp agencies are swamped, but second of all i got scheduled a shitload this week. i'm working from 4 to close today, tomorrow from 11 to sometime, sunday from 3 to 8, monday from 5 to close, and tuesday from 4 to close. this is a good thing. it means i'm actually going to be pulling some cash. good thing, in a non martha stewart sort of a way. also since i've gotten scheduled mom and dad have let up on the internet embargo. yay!

hmm. i'm going to go hop in the pool, bake for 30 minutes, shower, and *go to work*. that's so foreign. work. shiiiit. hehehehe.

i'm really getting tired of the job search. the job i have sucks ass, and i want a better one, but i keep getting the run-around from more reputable places. chili's gave me the blowoff yesterday; today it was buca di beppo's turn. i talked to frank, the paisano, who said that he'd love to run me through training... over thanksgiving. and then have me work over christmas. great. that's what i need, frank. exactly what i need. it looks like i'm not going to make any money this summer and will likely spend winter quarter waiting tables instead of going to class. wonderful.

but i suppose if i accept the fact that i'm going to have to stop out now, then if i don't, it'll be a pleasant surprise. yeah right, who am i kidding. my family can't afford to put me through college, and i can't afford to live in california. blah.

hm, today was only slightly better, due to no work, and no allergies. however, no work means all parents. *sigh*. only 62 more days in this hellhole... days are passing, it seems. they are passing. and that's what's keeping me alive.

new rule: only as much time as i spend working can i spend online. sigh. is this not a dictatorship? i feel so 8th grade hating my parents like this. blah.

wow, today has been one of my worst days in awhile. it started with the cockroach this morning. i woke up at about 1:30 to a cockroach creeping across my arm. it was going away from my body - makes ya wonder where it had already been. yeeecccchh. so i didn't fall asleep again until 3 'cause i just couldn't. then i got up at 9 'cause my car was ready at the shop. took it back into the kwik kar to get another inspection - wee. failed again. gah. i love my car so much i take its failures as my own. needless to say that upset me. anyway when i got home i had to tear my freaking room apart and spray cockroach stuff *everywhere*. in tearing it apart i seem to have unleashed the wrath of the dust bunny, because what ensued is the WORST allergy attack i have had in memory. i'm still sneezing. and this started at like 11 this morning. *sigh* i hate to think what it would be like for me right now if i hadn't taken a dayhist before i left for work... i'm soooo sneezy it's ridiculous. gah. and i took vivarin to counteract the antihistamine and so i'm all jittery and tired. sigh. bleh. make it stop.

"If PacMan had affected us as kids we'd be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to electronic music."

hahahaha.

i am the person i have always wanted to be, i think. wow, that's a cool thought.

shit dude... i got a job

updated webpage! wee!

*sigh* i have to go to bed already???? it's fricking 10:15. i hate having my mom home...

dude, i'm totally starting to get a chopstick callus. like a writing callus but on the next finger over. it's kinda cool.

isn't it funny how different directions have different prepositions that precede them? think about it. i mean, "up" north and "down" south make some sort of arbitrary sense, but what about "back" east and "out" west? those have no relevance to anything but American history - no basis on a globe or map... why don't we say "over" west or east?

yeah, you may think that "out" west is a little outdated, but where do i wish i were right now? i bet you answered "out in california" if you used a preposition at all. eric's profile says he's staying "out" in sunnyvale for the summer, as opposed to going "back" home to boston.

hmm.

wee... i just love it when cars fail the state inspection. it's a great feeling, knowing the piece of shit you drive is no longer a *good* piece of shit, but a *polluting* piece of shit. *sigh* they added 2 new tests this year to the inspection, NOx gas emissions and gas cap integrity. yeah, failed both of those. passed the rest of the shit though... and they say i have 15 days to get the shit fixed and bring it back for a free re-inspection, which i suppose is good. but it also means 15 more days of driving aroudn with an inspection sticker that blatantly advertises that it expired in november. yay.

on the upside, i have an interview at chili's today between 2 and 4 (i'll probably go around 3 or a little before) and should either have or not have a job by then. or maybe have a job conditional on passing a drug test. drug tests suck, because just about the only drug that stays in your system for long enough to matter is marijuana. now, it's not like pot is *good* for you, but it's certainly not worse for you than cigarettes or alcohol. in fact it's better for you than alcohol. but that shit stays in your system for 2, 3, maybe even 4 weeks after you smoke up, depending on body weight and THC metabolism and stuff. now hard drugs, they're water-soluble, unlike THC, so they get flushed out of your system in less than a week. that means that someone who smoked pot a month ago is less likely to pass a drug test than someone who snorts cocaine on weekends. how ridiculous is that? (side note: evidently in california, on that spot on the application where it asks if you've ever been convicted of a felony, marijuana-related felonies are not grounds for rejection for hiring. i think that's cool.)

disclaimer: IANAPH (i am not a pothead), but i think that they should have the same rights as smokers and drinkers. stupid fucking laws.

yeah, redesigns are fun... i reordered the names of blogs i link to for maximum visual effect, not necessarily in the order that i like you guys. so if your name is on bottom, don't feel bad, i don't hate you. (:

i'm currently working through a redesign, if you couldn't tell... leave me comments if you feel so inclined, i'd like to hear what you think of the new look. the bubbles are a symbol of the completely ass-kicking 10 days i spent in sunnyvale (actually, i took the picture of them, harlen blew them). what fun. i wonder if i should throw in random bubbles in posts that i make too...
mmm.                      

so for some reason i totally just got all reminiscent... started going through all the stuff on my shelves in my room which led to my cap for graduation which led to me standing in front of the mirror holding up my gown wearing my cap... and going through old pictures. it's so weird. i miss the old life i used to have here at home, but not that much. i don't get it. my friends here are all great but it seems that we had so many differences it's amazing we got along. i dunno. looking at old photos puts me in a weird mood.

i also ran across my ticket and the picture from once in a blue moon. god what an event. its epicness is evident from the lineup - paul oakenfold, chemical brothers, sasha and digweed, pete tong... but i think it really changed my life. it's kind of weird to think about that. i mean, before the rave, i was kind of fringe friends with eric - neither one of us really fit into the other's social circle - but afterwards i not only completely solidified an awesome friendship with him but also integrated myself into a whole new circle which led to what would have happened this summer if it weren't for jessie and her bitchiness and, well, tim. and the most incredible 10 days of my life. and other things.

it's a mind trip to think about what would have been if certain things had gone differently, isn't it? sometimes i even start to wonder if there is a such thing as fate, because everything in my life has worked out so fucking well up to this point (ok, "fate", i'm waiting to see what you have in store for this whole me-staying-home-this-summer thing...)

ok, i'll shut up now.

hmm

hmm, fun pictures: tim's site. check out summer2002 (oh, and mouseover the words "summer 2002" on the main page and see whose pic you get, yeah, that's right) for some entertainment. (: *sigh* i miss those people so much... dammit

haha, just a teaser preview of the next blog layout. woohoo! (:

well, the drive from seattle to southlake is 40 hours, in case you were wondering, and is doable without stopping for hotels. but it's painful. random images from the drive home:
loveland pass at 4am
al-qaida training camp jokes
the sign on the bathroom in the subway in norman, ok which said in spanish "the bathroom is fucked" (el bano esta chengado)
kansas is a hellhole
the stars in colorado (i didn't even know there were so many!!)
the license plate in CO that said SAX3070 (thought of eric of course)

i think i'm sleep deprived. yes. 40 straight hours in a car will do that to you.

WOW i need to do this. i think it's an addiction at this point... i cna't breath if i can't blog. anyway, i'm in seattle. lovely seattle, washington. spent the day driving halfway across said state to meet my aunt and uncle for a picnic in vantage, wa. that was exciting. lots of food. lots of food. the columbia river. stuff like that. it was cool.

it just occurred to me that a lot has happened in my life since i've blogged. i've moved out of california. i've also had the week of my life, prior to that moveout. i've got someone new in my life. i've been in three states in less than a week. i've seen my entire extended family on one side and almost everyone on the other side. i've only slept alone in a room once in the last two weeks. it's odd how you think you're stagnating when you're out of school but really you're not - you're changing more than ever. all the shit that's gone down since i finished finals is making my head spin. maybe it's for the best that i'll be in texas in less than a week (i started to write "home" there and then i realized that's not accurate. i'll be at my parent's house, yes, but i still feel like california is home.) or maybe it's not, but it's happening anyway and i've accepted it, i suppose.

i've been getting daily updates on what's going down in the house, which is nice, 'cause i really miss it and all its inhabitants, and they only make me wish more that i was there. curse that stupid princeton review bitch. *sigh*

righto, i'm rambling. well, there's my blog. hey, that could be in the lord's prayer... "give us this day our daily blog, and forgive us our forgotten updates, as we forgive those who forget to update." coolness. ok. rambling end now.

fast, fast post here... i'm in an internet cafe in sunriver, oregon, and i have to satisfy my blogging addiction. i've been out of communication for almost a week and i't sdriving me nuts. a whole summer with my family, preceded by 2 weeks with my extended family... my idea of a vacation.

i want to go back to sunnyvale. i miss all my friends there :(

i'm gone. i'm out. i'm out of communication, starting in a few minutes when i turn my computer off and ending somewhere in the first week of july when i get home from my road trip. it's going to be a long 2 weeks, and i do not envy myself for the amount of mail i'll have to sort through via webmail. meanwhile, you might be able to reach me on my cell, if it's on and i'm in an area that has service. if it's after 9pm or a weekend (in the time zone i'm in) then i'll be able to talk longer, too.

later, guys... see you on the flip side.

well, *bighugeasslongsigh*. it's my last night in sunnyvale. this is depressing; i don' t want to leave this place. everyone here kicks so much ass. and eric, i'm sorry.

today, tim and i took off and went driving. we just left without saying anything to anyone and were gone from 1:30 until 8:15. just drove north.

i stole my first traffic cone today. just opened the window and grabbed it. looks like every other traffic cone in the world but it has "GGB" printed on it (to prove that i stole it from the golden gate bridge). i'm going to leave it here in the house, in tim's room, until i get back at which point i will reclaim my prize.

i really, really wish we'd had tim's camera (it's broken now though) because what we saw today was absolutely gorgeous. the view from the vista point just after the bridge... overlooking the city, watching the fog roll in... the first glimpses of the pacific as we drove up the 1 in marin county. we got off the 101 where the 1 splits off from it in marin and drove up to muir beach. now there's a cool beach. it's way warmer than half moon bay, and also has better sand and some neat rocks. very secluded and calm though. we frolicked in the sand and in the tide pool and on the rocks and a bit in the water. water was the same temperature as at half moon bay though (cold).

there's a little overlook just up the 1 from muir beach, on a little street called "muir beach overlook." it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my life, i think, or close to it.



except that picture was taken by some random guy who goes to cornell and it wasn't today... today was foggier and the ocean was green-greyer... and there were clouds on the horizon. beautiful clouds which ever so slightly obscured the land in the distance and made it seem as if it were another world.

i love california... i'm going to miss it...

i feel bad for not blogging recently, but i feel like there's nothing going on in my life that is bloggable and/or blogworthy. just bumming about the house. i want to go to the beach sometime this weekend (perhaps sunday?). Will's coming to visit tomorrow, that should be cool. and i leave here on monday for oregon and then seattle and then canada and then home. what a weird summer this will be.

i'm not sure if this guy has the answers to everything in life or if he's just smoking something. either way, it's an entertaining read...

evidently we have sprinklers. how cool. too bad they're doing more watering of the pavement than they are the grass. heh.

well, we're all moved in. this house is awesome. right now it's just me, tim and eric living here... trang is at home with her parents and meghan is... also somewhere with her parents, and so is harlen. it's nice though. michelle (harlen's girlfriend) came over and she and i cooked tofu and chicken stir fry for dinner, which actually turned out alright. not wonderful, but definitely edible, and hella cheaper than going out. we went to ranch 99, an asian grocery in cupertino, before dinner... that was really cool. i love asian grocery stores. we bought shitloads of tofu, a 25-lb bag of rice, and various other asian-style things. i have a feeling we're going to be eating with chopsticks more than with forks. not that that bothers me in any way. :)

i've discovered that just looking forward is the best idea right now. if i don't even think about the past and that i'm never going to live in branner again, it can't hurt me.

what a whacked night. i basically spent it running around visiting different people and doing different things. first was peter's party, which consisted of a rains apartment and lots of people i don't know. but it was strangely cool... he was the first blogger i've met in real life after talking to online, which is kind of cool. had a good time. then was the coho with joel, where we chilled. from there i just randomly wandered branner... so many people i never talk to, so little time. such weirdness.

the painful realization that tonight is all that is left. the odd, completely unexpected conversations with relative strangers that suck you in and leave you changed. the concept of branner as a sort of machine that takes in these rough ideas of people and spits out completely different concepts of humans. no longer will i be able to walk down the hall and talk to random people about random ideas. i truly have come to love these people i live with, each of the 168 other kids, in their own way.

what a long, strange trip it's been, branner... keep it real.

So I got an email from Jessie, the hiring coordinator for The Princeton Review yesterday about dinnertime.

Hi guys,
I did some hard core recruiting for teachers because we were supposed to have a contract go through which would require numerous teachers. Unfortunately, the contract fell through. So, I no longer need summer teachers. We will be having a training in August for those who would like to teach in the fall. If you would like to come to the August session/teach in the fall, please let me know. I'm so sorry :0(
Jessie

First of all, if my job was banking on a contract coming through, why the fuck was i not notified of this sooner? Why couldn't I have been told that there was a chance that i'd end up with the shaft earlier? Maybe before I'd paid for rent and deposit and food for a month in a house that I'll barely get to live in now? *sigh*

Anyway, after a panicked call to Mom, I've got my summer all figured out.

First: I'm not coming home this weekend. There's really no point. I even got my frequent flier miles reinstated.
Second: Come June 24, I'm heading up to Oregon for a family reunion and Grandparents' 50th anniversary.
Third: Sometime after that week (probably Sunday or such, like the 30th) my brother and I will pile in his car and drive up to Seattle, and up to Vancouver. Then we'll drive across Canada and down through the Midwest to Texas... arriving home sometime in the neighborhood of July 6th or 7th.
Fourth: I'll be home for the rest of July, all of August, and half of September.

I think i'm actually pretty excited about this. The summer will be the best of both worlds - living with my friends for awhile, then road tripping, then bumming around S-town. It'll work out.

right-o. just in case you guys thought i'd become less of a dork or something over the past year, here's evidence to the contrary.

so i'm listening to this sasha track, the 1st track on the 2nd cd of his global underground ibiza set... and there's a voice in the track that says, "one.... one... two... three... five... eight... thirteen... twentyone." which i instantly recognize as the fibonacci sequence. hmm, thinks me, what are the next few fibonacci numbers? so i think, ok, 34, 55, 89, oh, screw it, this would be infinitely easier with a computer program.

so i pull up my trusty old Turbo C++ compiler and bang this out (mind you, i certainly haven't programmed in over a year):

#include "iostream.h" /**ed. note, these were in brackets but i changed it so it wouldn't think i was trying to convince it that there is an iostream.h html tag**/

//kat is a loser and is
//creating a fibonacci sequencer
//for the sheer goddamn hell of it.

int main()
{
int loopvar;
char Repeat = 'y';
while(Repeat == 'y')
{
cout << "How many fibonacci numbers would you like to compute? ";
cin >> loopvar;
long a[100];
a[0] = 1;
a[1] = 1;
cout << a[0] << endl << a[1] << endl;
for(int LCV=2; LCV < loopvar; LCV++)
{
a[LCV] = a[LCV-2] + a[LCV-1];
cout << a[LCV] << endl;
}
cout << endl << "Do again? (y/n) ";
cin >> Repeat;
}
return 0;
}

AND IT COMPILES! and it runs! and it likes me! and it tells me fibonacci numbers! i rule!!

*sigh* or maybe i'm just a dork.

for the sake of minimizing the accessories i have going on here, the katcam will be going offline now. sorry...

i just don't want it to end

and now for something a little closer in scope:

goals for the summer.

don't forget much japanese

kick my caffeine habit

make money

practice up on clarinet enough to join wind ensemble come fall

go to the moby concert in august.

survive on my own.

okay, well my template doesn't seem to want to keep my list of things to do before i die around, so i suppose i'll just turn it into a post instead of a sidebar.

to do before i die.

go to ibiza

visit florence

spend >3 months in japan

become fluent in japanese

sell a piece of my own artwork for more than $500

work at ideo

see the alhambra

go to tibet

experience zero gravity

aran-kun wa 'kyatto-san ga suki' to omotteru ka doo ka wakaranai da kedo, watashi wa soo to omotteru. watashi wa aran-kun ga daisuki naa. aran-kun wa watashi ga suki to, totemo ureshiku naru.

nihongo no "buraagu" o hajimeroo to omotteru. totemo tanoshisoo da.

here's my (much less entertaining) summer outlook, a la jamie...

june 9: move stuff to house in sunnyvale, ca
june 12: move from campus to house (goodbye to branner *sniff*)
june 13-18: home, southlake
june 19-23: sunnyvale
june 24-28: family reunion, sun river, oregon
june 29: sunnyvale
sept 17: paa training, back on campus

and that's how it'll go. it'll go... and that's all that matters.

I shouldn't find this funny, but I do.

Mom (3:54:22 PM): hi, how are the papers going?

Auto response from Aladariel (3:54:22 PM): turning in my ihum paper and then selling my ihum books back to the people who anally raped me for them. bureaucratic motherfuckers. at least i'm not wearing shoes.

Mom (3:55:17 PM): charming away message.

i should be mortified. but instead i can't stop laughing. bureaucratic motherfuckers. hahahahahaha. *sigh* i crack me up.

got up a bit too late this morning. i intended to take three 1.5-hr naps last night, but that of course did not work out and i ended up sleeping between 3 and 10, with one brief 10-minute phase in there in which i attempted to get up and work but really ended up just reorganizing the playlist to which i was sleeping (and eliminating the alien ant farm i had in there in order to get me up. ha. it in actuality did nothing but piss me off.)

revised my paper on blogging... the most recent version is posted here. feel free to read it and leave me comments. it's due at 5pm tonight.

next up is writing my works cited page for that one, and then revising my ihum paper, which is due at 6:30. it would be ideal if i could finish both of these in the next 2.5 hours and go windsurfing, but the odds of that happening are between 0 and .001. *sigh* guess i'll have to wait until next spring to windsurf... oh well.

writing papers sucks. i'm just glad that, within 6 hours, it will all be over with. my last ihum and pwr papers will be turned in. and i'll be "as free as a bird," according to lynrd skynrd.

i've come up with a new word for how i feel today. "procrastinatory." it rolls off the tongue well. i'm feeling procrastinatory... how about you?

(yeah, that would mean "i have 4-5 pages to write and 10 to revise before 5pm tomorrow... i've got time")

there is nothing sexier than a man with a nice body wearing a wifebeater.

ok, so maybe there is, but there are not *many* things sexier than that.

ahh, the end is so near i can smell it. or perhaps that's just the leftover pizza that my roommate threw away and has not taken out yet. either way, just got back from my LAAAAST Ihum section EVER and am getting ready to go to my LAST PWR class ever. this is exciting.

i started packing last night. that's a weird feeling. i mean, i know it's a little early to get shit packed, but i'm hoping to start moving things into the house this weekend (i.e. when allen and joe get their uhaul) so i guess i have an excuse. the hardest part is taking things off the walls. i've already taken down my collection of random-ass concert tickets and other things that were between my shelves and heather's, but all the pictures i've cut out from magazines and everything are going to be harder to take down... they'll rip, and then i'll have to decide whether to throw them away or try to salvage them... and some of them are really cool. i'm excited about roth... it's going to be a sweet room. we'll get it decorated up waaay better than the girls who have it this year... and hopefully the fire escape will be frequented by cute and/or nice boys who want to rescue us from the sheer agony of estrogen overdose.

i need some lemonade.

just two things tonight. one: knowing that actions you took directly helped save someone's life is an incredible feeling. two: i love you, lyndsie. knowing you're okay is more than enough for me... but thank you for the flowers and smelly stuff... (:

"Again I Go Unnoticed"
by dashboard confessional

So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feeel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?

Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye
wont be the only way you'll look at me then.

(ok, so the overall message of the song isn't what i'm feeling right now but some lines just hit home... yeah.)

nestacos are funny. and their creator is an attention whore. or maybe just a whore in general. here. have a link. are you happy now, you sick, depraved link-slut? huh?

and you didn't even have to sleep with me to get it.

it's time to wax philosophical on the end of the year. i don't know if this blog will be allowed to stay up after tonight, so those of you priveledged enough to read it, enjoy it while it lasts. [ed note: it will remain. yay.]

so i spent the evening up on the penthouse. it was fun. it was good. they had a keg, i enjoyed the keg. i even did a keg stand, which was kinda cool. drinking beer while upside down is a challenge. anyway, i basically spent the entire evening trying to get to allen, which i never did. so i finally gave up and decided to just go talk to joe. joe is allen's best friend, and roommate next year, so hopefully he would have some insight into the whole situation. joe said that he'd talked to allen about "just this" (he didn't explicitly say that it was about me, but it seemed to be implicit) and that allen didn't want to try to start a relationship at the very end of the year. oh, god. wrong thing to say. that of course got me off on the whole "i can't believe it's the end of the year" tangent... i'm getting old... i'm growing up... my freshman year is OVER and i haven't had any fucking dormcest... it's all gone by WAAAAAY too fast. I really cannot handle it. this summer is going to be tight but i think that all in all i'm just looking forward to next year. jesus, next year. roth 209... that's going to be incredible. and being next to the french house... joe seemed to be saying that he and allen would come around a lot. that's good. i really enjoy those two guys... joe's a great friend, and allen... well, yeah. so basically what i caught from the conversation was that allen doesn't want a hookup at the end of the year, he wants a relationship at the beginning of the year. i definitely respect that... but i'm too impatient. *sigh* stupid world. stupid summer. why do we have to have summer?? blah.

anyway, i'd say it wasn't a bad evening. i'm glad i stayed in instead of succumbing to christina's peer pressure to go out to lambda nu. i didn't get any tonight, but if i'd gone out i would have spent the entire night, nay, the entire summer wondering what could have happened if i'd stayed in. and now i know. it's a "wait til fall" situation. which really is right, i guess... i just need to learn how to deal with the passage of time... it's all just too much. i wish i could just fast forward over this summer... it's going to be excruciating. too long. it'll be fun, yes, living with all my buddies, highly enjoyable, trust me. but i want it to be over now. i have no patience.

i can't help but wonder if i should spend this summer brushing up on my clarinet again and audition for the wind ensemble in the fall. i really should. i miss playing... it makes me sad that i never have a chance to do it anymore. yeah, i really should. apologies in advance to my housemates. (:

i seem to have missed the party boat for the evening. there's no noise going on, no craziness, no alcohol. i think that everyone who is going partying has already gone... and i haven't already gone. *shrug* not like there are any good parties tonight anyway, other than the frosoco one, which is just too goddamn far. blah...

it's funny how being in a really communicative relationship for a prolongued period of time can make you forget just how confounding the opposite sex can be.

"in between the moon and you
angels get a better view
of the crumbling difference
between wrong and right"
-counting crows, "around here"

for some reason, skateboarding at night always reminds me of this song. maybe it's the moon. maybe it's that sometimes when i skateboard at night i feel kind of like i'm in between the moon and you. it's the closest to flying i've ever been. when i come around the corner, off of the sidewalk into the parking lot to get onto the sidewalk in front of branner, i always outstretch my arms like an angel as i soar around the corner. that's my favorite part of my standard commute. today, i skateboarded in flip flops for the first time. it doesn't feel nearly as secure as when i wear my sketchers, but it's a more intimate experience. i even took them off for a minute, so i could feel the board and the pavement with my bare feet. i kind of feel more in touch with something when i do. it's a neat experience.

this day keeps getting better.

today is shaping up to be the best goddamn day i've had in a long time. ihum lecture was actually enjoyable. we discussed the 60's psychadelic movement and ken kesey and the acid tests. and at lunch, they had avocados. like, real, ripe, yummy, whole avocados. i had one at lunch and stole 2 for later. (:

i have this theory that a bowl of raisin bran with soy milk on it and a red bull is a complete, balanced meal. You got your bread - lots of fiber and shit. You got your fruit. You got your soy (which should be one of the food groups.) Protein. Antioxidants. Isoflavones. B Vitamins. Niacin. Pantothenic acid. Caffeine. Taurine. What else could a body need??

Sometimes, I think, wow, my computer is running really slowly for a laptop with 512 megs of RAM and a 900 MHz processor.

Then I think, wait, I have 4 AIM windows, my Outlook Express inbox, 5 Internet Explorer windows, 4 folders, the calculator, the Outlook calendar, Microsoft Word, and Winamp open, and think, wow, my computer is running at a pretty decent speed.

I Want You To Want Me
as performed in "10 Things I Hate About You" by Letters to Cleo
Originally performed by Cheap Trick

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.

yay! this summer! yay! the house! it's ours! it's mine! i'm staying! yay yay!

if i was beautiful like you,
oh the things i would do
those not so blessed
would be crying out murder
and i'd just laugh
and get away with it too.
like you do.

if i was beautiful like you,
i would never be at fault
i'd walk in the rain between the raindrops,
bringing traffic to a halt.

but that will never be,
that will never ever be.
cuz i'm not beautiful like you.
i'm beautiful like me.

if i was beautiful like you,
i'd be quick to assume.
they'd do anything to
please me
why not?
i see their reaction when you walk into the room.

but that will never be,
that will never ever be
'cuz i'm not beautiful like you.
i'm beautiful like me.
beautiful like me.

if i was beautiful like you,
i'd have so many friends
all fighting for my time
to be next in line.
so if i hurt one,
i wouldn't have to make amends.

but that will never be,
that will never never be,
'cuz i'm not beautiful like you.
i'm beautiful like me.

joydrop, "beautiful"

ahh, got the ihum paper all taken care of and turned in. sure feels really good to have that done. now, all i have left to do this week is a japanese vocab quiz (my last one as a first-year japanese student! yay! and easy! and short! weee!) and some ihum reading. i think i'm just going to fake my way through discussion on friday, and not read joyce's The Dead... throw in some bullshit from lecture. what more could you need? next we get to read one flew over the cuckoo's nest which should be entertaining. i'm looking forward to that one. i'm also leading a discussion on it.. hopefully it won't be too painful. maybe i can find some movie clips or something... it'll be good.

this weekend looks like it'll end up being a good deal of fun. partying with eric and the yost crew on saturday, most likely. gonna find some time to chill with allen, too. barbecue on sunday should be entertaining. not too much work to deal with, either, and it's a long weekend! yay memorial day! unfortunately i do have that pesky little 10 page draft due on wednesday in pwr... hopefully i'll survive writing that. i figure if i write 2 or 3 pages on each day, saturday, sunday and monday, and then finish it up on tuesday night, i'll be fine. 10 pages really isn't all that much. i can do it.

i made it past the interview for TPR which means i've been invited to train. training is 3 weekends in june (though they aren't telling us which weekends yet! ack!). i'm praying for the first 3 weekends - though it'll eat out of my finals studying time, i think i can handle it. finals week is usually really low-key anyway. and that'll leave the last 2 weekends in June for maybe even going home, and the family reunion in oregon. i hope i can make it home for a couple days, to see friends and stuff... but eh, if i can't, i suppose it's not the end of the world.

i want to go to the beach this weekend.

i think i hyperassociate smells. not just like normal people do, with the smell of evergreens relating to christmas and family, but hyperassociation, like Jamie does with abstract concepts. i have some lip gloss at home that i wear from time to time when i can't find anything else. it's a basic pina colada scent, pretty good, low-quality lip gloss, but all in all not a bad thing. the scent of the gloss, however reminds me so strongly of my high school freshman year that i end up reliving the painful experience of me finally working up the balls to ask a boy to a dance and having him blankly stare at me as if he didn't know my name. (he didn't. but that's not the point.) from there, i'm reminded of the coach I had for health class telling us to "go ask your parents" if we had any questions on the sex chapter in the textbook (surely there's a law against that!) and the friend who gave me the lip gloss and a really pretty color of nail polish for christmas. but that scent will be forever associated with my crush on jason burns during my freshman year of high school

the same thing goes for the tea i just made for myself. it's tazo zen blend, a really good green tea with herbs in it. but it has a very distinctive scent, one which reminds me overwhelmingly of winter quarter and japanese class. it reminds me of putting milk in my tea every morning before i trudged off to japanese in the rain every morning (okay, so it really only rained about 3 times during winter quarter, but that's not the point).

at least that one isn't a painful association.

today: definite success. DP2 presentation. didn't go so well, but it was new. also, PR hiring session - new experience. Functioning like a human after an all-nighter - new experience. yay! i rule.

also, things are going according to plan. yay!

blah, so dp2 is due today. i definitely pulled an all-nighter last night... but it paid off, 'cause i'm sure i aced the kanji quiz in japanese this morning, and i really don't care that i slept through ihum lecture (ok, so only 30 minutes of it... and i doubt the prof even noticed). hopefully we can get our project off without a hitch, i'm kind of frightened though. it just doesn't have the showmanship that a lot of them will have... though i'm sure it'll work... and my logbook, quite frankly, sucks ass. but it's really too late to go back and fix it, since it's a development process. a lot of my logbook pages are good though, so hopefully that'll count for something.

i have the interview tonight, as well as an ihum paper to write for thursday and a short little draft and a presentation for pwr on wednesday... and i need to sleep quite a bit tonight. i'm really exhausted at this point... the nap in ihum helped, but not by a whole lot. i still have 2 red bulls, but i had a coffee after lunch, so i'll have to wait a bit before i drink a red bull. unfortunately caffeine isn't helping me any... it's just making me jittery and exhausted. my mood has crashed too... it's funny how that happens. hopefully dp2 will go off without a hitch and i can stop stressing about that... ok, time to put more bullshit in the logbook. hopefully i can pull my logbook grade up to a b or b+ (yeah, right) and maybe a b+ overall for the project. that would be nice. very nice.

this is always so much fun. i'm enjoying myself.

the thing i did today that i never did before was go to look at a house with a couple of my future housemates. it was really nice. hopefully we can get it... 5br, 3ba, $2500 a month, in mountain view. it should be ours within a few weeks, and we can start moving in on june 1. weeeee! hopefully i won't even need storage this summer. this is exciting.

i hate that i get hungry at 3:30. i hope we have oatmeal...

jamie is just full of funny bloggable quotes tonight.

jamie (1:39:22 AM): i mean, really, he's playing with your pants

i'm going to leave that one unexplained. (:

jamie (10:00:05 PM): auuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhh
Auto response from Aladariel (10:00:05 PM): aaaaauuuuuuuugh
jamie (10:00:10 PM): damn, we should be language majors
jamie (10:00:15 PM): fuck engineering
Aladariel (10:01:32 PM): hehe
Auto response from jamie (10:01:32 PM): What the soul knows is often unknown to the man who has a soul. We are infinitely more than we think.
Kahlil Gibran
jamie (10:01:36 PM): heh
jamie (10:01:42 PM): but that's why we have fuckie majors
Aladariel (10:01:45 PM): yes
jamie (10:01:48 PM): yay fuckie majors
Aladariel (10:01:54 PM): because they make you want to scream "FUCK!"
jamie (10:02:08 PM): funny how we both went from pure techie to fuckie. and both have lang minors
Aladariel (10:02:11 PM): hehe
Aladariel (10:02:28 PM): yeah
jamie (10:02:40 PM): it's because we're in denial of the fact that we really just want to go the beach and be language majors and date ethnic guys
jamie (10:02:41 PM): heh
Aladariel (10:03:40 PM): lol
Aladariel (10:03:44 PM): too true
jamie (10:03:52 PM): : )
jamie (10:03:59 PM): but we're martyrs for fuckies
Aladariel (10:04:01 PM): yes
jamie (10:04:16 PM): your finger. and both of our not sleeping
Aladariel (10:04:23 PM): yeah
jamie (10:04:26 PM): and i'll just get carpal tunnel
Aladariel (10:04:28 PM): fuckiness
Aladariel (10:04:28 PM): lol
jamie (10:04:42 PM): so yeah, our minds and fingers
jamie (10:04:42 PM): heh
Aladariel (10:04:49 PM): yeah
Aladariel (10:05:53 PM): missing flicks :(
Aladariel (10:05:57 PM): i wanted to see orange county, too
jamie (10:06:04 PM): *hug*
jamie (10:06:08 PM): we can see it after finals
Aladariel (10:06:12 PM): yeah
Aladariel (10:06:19 PM): i AM going to see Amelie next weekend though
jamie (10:06:23 PM): me too!
Aladariel (10:06:25 PM): yay
Aladariel (10:06:26 PM): !
jamie (10:06:27 PM): it looks so cute
Aladariel (10:06:29 PM): yeah
Aladariel (10:06:33 PM): heather gave it glowing reviews
jamie (10:06:44 PM): and we can binge on chocolate and/or controlled substances
Aladariel (10:06:51 PM): yay!!!!
jamie (10:06:52 PM): when we watch orange country
jamie (10:06:54 PM): county
Aladariel (10:06:54 PM): controlled substances!!!
jamie (10:06:54 PM): hehe
Aladariel (10:06:55 PM): hehe
jamie (10:06:57 PM): heheheh
jamie (10:06:59 PM): chocolate!
jamie (10:07:04 PM): should be controlled for me :)
Aladariel (10:07:07 PM): hehehe
jamie (10:07:20 PM): colin invited me to his june 15 ball
jamie (10:07:21 PM): heh
Aladariel (10:07:24 PM): hehe
jamie (10:07:36 PM): i asked why not lizzie...he said it's easier to get me out there on short notice
jamie (10:07:41 PM): gotta love his tact :)
Aladariel (10:07:47 PM): lol
jamie (10:08:09 PM): should be (sub)cultural
Aladariel (10:08:27 PM): hehe
Aladariel (10:09:57 PM): it'll be fun
jamie (10:10:02 PM): yes :)
jamie (10:10:07 PM): and can wear the prom dress
jamie (10:10:12 PM): okay, back to cs whoring
jamie (10:10:13 PM): :)
jamie (10:10:19 PM): rock on!!
Aladariel (10:10:23 PM): alright, back to ME masochism
Aladariel (10:10:25 PM): you too!!
jamie (10:10:29 PM): weeeeeeeeeeee!!
jamie (10:10:30 PM): :) :)
Aladariel (10:10:34 PM): later (:
jamie (10:10:37 PM): you bitch with allen :)
Aladariel (10:10:38 PM): hehe
jamie (10:10:39 PM): can
jamie (10:10:41 PM): :)
jamie (10:10:45 PM): rock on! :)
Aladariel (10:10:45 PM): when he gets back from flicks :(
Aladariel (10:10:46 PM): :P
jamie (10:10:49 PM): :)
Aladariel (10:10:50 PM): i wish i had time for flicks :P
Aladariel (10:10:51 PM): hehe
jamie (10:10:58 PM): you will next time :)
Aladariel (10:11:00 PM): yeah
jamie (10:11:01 PM): later :)
Aladariel (10:11:03 PM): later (:

hopefully today will be a better day for me than yesterday. i did, however, most definitely succeed in my goal of doing something that i've never done before. i drove phil's car to home depot, and halfway home i got freaked out because the muffler stopped working (it wasn't my fault though, and as far as i can tell he fixed it and it's fine now). later, though, i cut my finger on an exacto knife. it hurt like a bitch motherfucker. then the surface wound, where i broke the skin, closed up. unfortunately i also managed to nick a relatively major (well, for a finger) blood vessel, which did *not* close up when the skin did. that's frightening, watching your finger swell up all purple-like. so i went to urvi and she drove me to cowell. the people at cowell are so nice and helpful. two nurses looked at my finger and went "huh." they turned it over and went "weird." then they gave me a band-aid (with neosporin, no less) and told me to ice it and elevate it. riiiiight. fortunately it was my left index finger, not my right one... but still, a bitch. it also makes typing difficult.

i also watched good will hunting last night with allen. entertaining movie. good fun. never done that before either.

"do you like apples? yeah? well, i got her number. how do you like *them* apples?" - good will hunting

i think today's been a failure. nothing presented itself for me to do that i've never done before. well, nothing that's not a lame stretch... i never saw the guy who spoke to our me101 class before... i never thought about how nietzsche could be applied to othello... i never crashed my visor before today. but these things are lame, which makes today a failure as far as my philosophy goes. hopefully tomorrow will be better.

i definitely wrote my review of star wars. it was a beautiful thing, covering every detail, from the growing shadow across young anakin's future from the way yoda handles his lightsaber. it was an amazing review. i gave it 3.5 stars. and then, blogger ate the post.

i hate that.

so, for the sake of brevity, the movie is better than the last one. hayden christensen and natalie portman are hot. ewan mcgregor - also hot. jar jar binks - much, much better than in the last one. that's all i'm going to say.

i suppose my readership didn't really want spoilers, anyway. so it is for the best that blogger ate it.

oh my god. yoda is my god.

full review coming tomorrow. be prepared.

i didn't get into the sophomore college i applied for... grr. oh well, that just means more time this summer to work and make money. (yay money.)

i am, however going to go see star wars... 4.5 hours until the show, just 15 minutes until i leave... weee!

i just turned a so-so day into an awesome one in just two easy steps: one. go skateboard in the parking structure. take the elevator up, ride down... fuck yes. two. get a blogger t-shirt in the mail, so the masses know now who will be dominating them in the coming revolution. buahahahaha....

star wars opens on thursday... and i have a ticket! that's right, thanks to fandango.com, i have my very own, printed-at-home ticket to star wars episode ii: attack of the clones. stay tuned for movie reviews (without spoilers, i promise), and, more importantly, whether it would be more aptly titled "attack of the crazed manic fans who absolutely detest jar-jar binks". we'll have to see.

tonight, however, holds lots of work on me101, some skateboarding at the parking structure, a little japanese studying, and perhaps a little work in the new-crush department. yeah, i've moved on, to bigger and better (or at least closer) things. more to follow, perhaps.

for the record, there is an amazing planetary conjunction right now in the west. crescent moon and 4 planets. go see it if you can. it won't be around for another 38 years.

katcam fans: sorry about the downtime. my computer crashed at about 6AM this morning, and then my demo version on my webcam software decided to run out. i don't mind; it was shitty software anyway. i've downloaded yet another demo version of a (way better) program which will last me another month... i wonder if i'll ever run out of demo versions. hehe. anyway, it's back up and running... yay.

update: 17 aftershocks so far. the biggest one was a 3.2, which couldn't be felt here, unfortunately.