I suppose I should stop playing the guitar when my fingertips start to bleed.


i suppose i should blog, even though i'd really just rather go to bed.

went driving with andrew, barbara, mike wallace. wallace drove. he has a mustang. back seat of mustang is small, very small.
went to eatzi's for dinner. that's this little grocery-store-type-thing with super-good food and super-high prices. but it's gourmet. and yummy. so we bought stuff. brought it back here and moped about. then we went driving.
went to sonic, got ice cream. drove. drove. somewhere in here barbara revealed that she didn't know what a malt was. tried to tell her it was like what's in the middle of a whopper. she was thinking burger king whoppers, not chocolate whoppers. so we went to an albertsons and bought whoppers. barbara didn't like them. so we drove. got lost. kept driving. ended up in fort worth. drove north. passed 1709. ended up in denton. took I-35 back south through lewisville. SNOW in denton and lewisville. Hopefully will come through S-town soon. i love waking up to whiteness where there had been green and brown. it's beautiful.
yes. i want to sleep.


ok, so the third time's the charm or something...
so i definitely saw the lord of the rings again, for the third time. taste them again, for the first time. like corn flakes, only less bland. and you don't need to sprinkle sugar on the movie to think it kicks ass.
jamie said she didn't think it lasted three whole hours, and that she was ready for another two. i told her there was another six hours coming, if you can wait a year or two. i'm not sure i can. well, maybe i can deal just watching the movie every month or so and reading the books. it's only twelve months, anyway.
casting: beautiful. i wouldn't have thought elijah wood should be frodo, but after having seen it i can't imagine it any other way. he really breathes life into the role. legolas is the best-cast character, where did they find this guy that looks like an elf? and aragorn. the eyes... viggo mortensen's eyes... they have something in them that screams "i am the lost king of gondor, and i will return!" ohh, it's great.
hmmm.. i really should re-read the book. after i finish Return of the King i will, so i can remember how much they left out of the movie. it's a lot... but i don't think it really detracted from the story.

after the movie, got coffee with jamie and mulholland and whiz-head... saw malia there. that was interesting, since jamie and i had been talking about how we kept seeing stanford people... (malia lives in otero, but she also lives in bedford which is like 20 minutes away. bedford evidently has a woeful lack of starbucks.) she's too cute. it was really funny though because she and her friend were both wearing black turtleneck sweaters and blue jeans... and so was i... so we all matched. hehe. it was funny.

after i dropped off jamie i dropped in on nathan's star wars fest... he and alex were subjecting amy to all three star wars movies in a row. she lost her star wars virginity. but of course nathan kept making jokes, and when i'm in his company i can't keep my mouth shut (i beat him to a diaper joke concerning the emperor and nursing homes), so she probably was scarred. hehe. it was cool, though, to see amy and alex again. amy's a senior this year, and alex is at trinity. yay band friends. mmm. yay return of the jedi. ewoks!

mmm. i'm liking the concept of bed right now.

"i wish the ring had never come to me. i wish none of this had happened."
"so do all who live to see such days. but it is not theirs to decide. all we have to decide is what to do with the time given us."
-frodo and gandalf

i should buy myself an acoustic guitar. that'd be cool.

mmm. going today to see LotR for the third time. cool. it'll be fun. i love that movie, love love love. i think i should see it in the theater more than i saw star wars episode one... because LotR was waaaay better. sooo, that means i'll have to see it at least eight times. unfortunately i dunno if that's going to happen, with me being a college student and not so much having movie theaters at my disposal. maybe they'll show it at flicks. that'd rule. so if you count today that'll be four. wee.

so mom's trying to get me to buy tickets home for spring break. i'd really rather do something else for spring break... being at home is going to suck, because it's a different break from all of my friends, and even my mom and sister. so i'd sit on my ass at home all week. or work at aundrea's. which would be money, but no fun. :P stupid weird-ass spring break.


weee lord of the rings! weee!

and here, for your viewing pleasure:

mmm, frodo... mmm


christmas pictures from the reinhart house:

the five of us, gathered for our annual feast...

my house, all illuminated for the holdiay.


I never quite remember how much i dislike shopping until I go. I spent the majority of today at North East Mall (read: far as fuck away). Wandered through their inferior Nordstroms, Gap, bought a pair of jeans at Abercrombie (oh my god, did i really do that? no people, you don't understand, I've never BEEN IN an abercrombie before today, and now i own a pair of their jeans... i guess it'll go with my banana republic shirt.)... bought jamie's christmas present at B&N because i'm a slacker and buy presents after the fact... had McD's for lunch. ew.

I've become addicted to JRR Tolkien. I'm about 2/3 of the way through the first half of Return of the King... unfortunately the way the second 2 books are structured, you have to wait until the second half of the book (the second book of the book :P ) to read about frodo and sam. which sucks because they kind of got screwed over at the end of the Two Towers. so i'm lying in wait and don't know what's become of the poor hobbits, sent to Mordor... I have to read all about the war in Gondor and the siege at Minas Tirith. It's less exciting, except the part about Eowyn, the power chick who defied her father's orders and went to war with the men, that was cool. Anyway, it's good shit, yo. my new drug.

tonight: lebanese fest! jamie's mom and mrs. bu-abbud are cooking a lebanese feast for the fitzgeralds and the bu-abbuds and the halboutys and other people... they decided that i'm cool enough to be honorary lebanese, i suppose... it'll be fun. i love lebanese food! (:

I must read Rumi. I have become fascinated by Sufism.


okay, you impatient morons, it's finally up... the updated soundtrack page. eat your hearts out.

i'm going to go read tolkein now.

stupid blogger, being all down and shit yesterday... stupid hackers. :P

went to see lord of the rings again.. it was good, maybe even better, the second time around. went with colin, it was nice to see him again... even if he talked about war tactics most of the time. i smiled and nodded. he hasn't read the LotR trilogy but he appreciates epic literature and consequently highly enjoyed the movie. the girl i sat next to, however, doesn't... and is a moron. she talked through the entire damn thing. like after the beginning sequence about the ring was over she was like, that was a good movie, let's go now. and kept making wise-ass cracks through the entire film. it got a little annoying. and then at the end, she screamed "WHAT??" as if she were expecting them to get to Mt. Doom and destroy the ring in *this* book (there was a book?). um, what would the other two be about then, huh? yeah, that's what i thought. hmm. well, anyway, i think it's time i read the two towers and maybe even the return of the king. i have to wait for will to get up because they're in his room... stupid me, getting up all early and shit.

so yesterday i tried to do this thing called "exercise" but it was a complete failure. i remembered why i hate running outdoors - i can't do it. when it's cold, i get this stupid thing called "exercise-induced asthma" which sucks ass and makes me hurt all over. so i ran a little over a half-mile and came back in utter pain. wasn't sure i'd recover. fortunately i did. i need to find some other method of exercise until i get to school. like step aerobics or something. lol. i could watch an aerobics video and "work it." that'd be funny. hehe.

i had a dream last night but unfortunately i can't remember what it was about. dammit, i should remember these things more often. :P


today was christmas, evidently.

well, it began with opening presents and saying, "wow, cool" and trying things on and eating cinnamon rolls... and continued with lots of movie-watching, and stuff, but something was missing today.

it could be the fact that my parents didnt make the kids line up at the top of the stairs and come down together on video tape and act surprised concurrently like we have always done in the past.

it could be the fact that the sweet-ass mp3 player i got doesn't want to work with winXP. dad and i spent 2 hours trying to download winXP compatible drivers and ran around in circles. it kept downloading something that was created in 1997, according to the timestamp, by microsoft... that's not quite right. so we're going to try again tomorrow, and if that doesn't work, then we'll find someone to bitch at, because i can't return it. it was packaged in one of those eeeeevil plastic bubble packs, the kind that everyone hates and that hate everyone, and i destroyed it when i got it open, so there's no hope of... "original packaging materials." so, if i have to write the fucking drivers myself, i'm gonna get that mp3 player to work. that didn't keep me from spending a couple minutes in tears this morning though. :( stupid fucking windows.

it could be that... or it could be that by the time santa claus got to the store the other day, they were out of hershey kisses. evidently out of reese's too. so we got stockings full of werthers (not bad) and those little strawberry things (bad). NO CHOCOLATE. it was a chocolate- free christmas for me... which probably accounts for the weirdness.

when you're a kid, there's something in the air on christmas. it seems to me that it's been fading the past few years... the feeling in the weeks building up to the day diminishes year by year... by the time i'm grown up, will it be just another day? is it my age, or is it my diminishing (as if there was any left) faith that made today seem like any other day? but it is just the christians and their gods, the father and son, in whom i have lost faith... i still have faith in people, and anyway, isn't that what today has come to mean to so many of us?

oh, and i'm afraid i may have developed some sort of alcohol allergy. the thing that happened to me last week with the kahlua happened again at dinner with the wine. or maybe it's just that i'm still sick and shouldn't be drinking... but what if...?

god, this had to have been the worst christmas i have experienced. i wish i were back home, in california.


[holiday cheer]

hmmm, where can i find some holiday cheer to spread to my friends? a quick check of my source of everything, google turns up some interesting results... some recipies (sends kat on an "ooh, i meant to look up the recipe for wasabi mashed potatoes for mom, this is an interesting recipe, oops, it calls for wasabi powder, not paste... oh well, it's too late for this christmas, maybe new years" tangent), goofy tapes, an essay on "Holiday Cheer at the Pentagon" (not written this year, interestingly enough)... too much holiday cheer for me. But aren't the little polar bears on the Google logo just tooo fucking cute?? hmmm. well, no cheer there. Where could i find cheer?

"you'd better find some holiday cheer somplace. 'cause it's your fucking patriotic duty. 'n shit."

okay, i give up, just have a happy christmas. (:

(even you, joel.)

it's.... christmas eve!

i wish you all a merry "peace, goodwill, humanity and presents" day, or whatever tomorrow may mean to you (if it means anything.)

happy christmas to all, and to all a good night.


okay, i'm stopping for the night. feel free to leave me suggestions about my blog's new appearance... it's kinda rough, but i think i like the direction this is headed. might want to weave the color 333333 (kind of olive drab the bg of the blog part used to be) back in somewhere...? not sure. also maybe center the "too much information" part? put something else in that cell? hmm. something to consider. anyway, i'm done working on it for tonight. (:

ahh, just saw Lord of the Rings. That was a good movie. And by "good movie" i mean "fucking damn awesome movie." Can you say something is "fucking damn awesome"? or should it be "damn fucking awesome"? dammit. Anyway, you know what i mean. It really whips the llama's ass. I'm gonna have to see it again. only problem was that it was pretty damn long... like 3 hours... oh well. I have the patience (and bladder) of a superhuman.

dude, why is it that the ice cream man comes down our street when it's freaking Christmas Eve Eve??? I just heard the tinkle of bells, and it wasn't sleighbells, it was ice cream man bells.

mmm, elijah wood, mmm.

she thinks she missed the train to mars,
she's out back counting stars.

she thinks she missed the train to mars,
she's out back counting stars.

she's not at work she's not at school
she's not in bed i think i finally broke her
i bring her on everything i want
and nothing that she needs
i thought she'd be there holding daisies
she always waits for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

i found her out back sitting naked
looking up and looking dead
a crumpled yellow piece of paper
with seven 9's and 10's
i thought she'd be there holding daisies
she always waits for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

i thought you'd be there holding daisy
you always wait for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars


i have a sinus infection. I woke up this morning and thought, "hello, sinus infection." It hurts to bend over. My top teeth hurt when i do some things. I have a headache.
oh boy. i just looooove sinus infections...

on the plus side, the cough is better, and the throat is too (but it still hurts to swallow... just not to the point where i want to scream every time. just to the point that it's annoying.)

talked to nathan on the phone briefly last night... he called my cell at 11:30 and asked if i was still dead.. and when i said "yeah, i am" he said "damn, yeah, you sound like you're still dead." :P

*sigh* oh well. i wonder what i'm going to do today...


for the record:
hot chocolate and kahlua is NOT, i repeat NOT NOT NOT to be used as a sore-throat-soother. NOT.
Made my sore throat about 10X worse... i'm back to where i was last night. WAAAAAAH.

(for the record, mom made it for me.)

Feeling a bit better today... still coughing, though. When i swallow it's more as if there were a hundred razorblades in the back of my throat, rather than a thousand, as was the case yesterday.

Read Pygmalion, for the hell of it, 'cause i figure i should in order to be an "educated human being." Wouldn't have read it if someone had told me at the beginning, "This play is exactly like the movie My Fair Lady... exactly." I thought the musical was just based on the play, not copied from it.... ah well. That shit happens, and life goes on.

I finished William Gibson's Idoru today. Not quite sure how i feel about it... it's kind of interesting. Definitely cyberpunk, more accessible than the sequels to neuromancer, but nowhere near as good as neuromancer itself. It occured to me as I finished that that's what I've been doing since I got home - reading. Since I've been sick and can't go out, I've read a few books in the week i've been home... all four Harry Potter books again, Michael Crichton's Timeline, Idoru, and Pygmalion... Timeline was particulary good, quite original... he comes up with new concepts, instead of rehashing his same "groundbreaking" ideas like gibson seems to have done later in his career...

Got my IHum grade... the bitch gave me an 84 on my final project, and a B overall. Hmmph. I thought I did way better than that, especially on the project. :P Grr, i'm angry. Oh well.

i am
and i dont' have much to say
it seems so strange
to stare at you
and to feel this way
feel this way

i am
and i don't really care this time
the phone can ring
off the hook
i don't mind
i don't mind

love is lonely (i don't mind)
love is cruel (i don't mind)
love is only
for a fool, for a fool

i am
and i'm not really sure right now
shut the shade,
the light's too bright
and i don't feel so well
i don't feel so well

love is lonely (feel so well)
love is cruel (feel so well)
love is only
for a fool, for a fool

so here
i am
and i don't really care this time
the record skips
stammers the beat
and repeats the line

love is lonely (repeats the line)
love is cruel (repeats the line)
love is only
for a fool,
for a fool

so here i am

::"here i am":: josh joplin group ::


ok... opinions needed: whatcha think? blog me back people.... (:

Ahh, just read back through all my friends' blogs... it's interesting how style varies. Some of you tell it like it is, a daily narrative, from a few quips about your doings to pages upon pages of everything you did that day. Some of you are more poetic in your posts... with a writing style I wish I could use, flowing sentences and really cool vocabulary. Other blogs seem to be more random... a few words that hint at what went on in your day that I wonder if I could piece together had I not been there and experienced it with you.

I wonder why I did not discover the guitar as a musical instrument earlier. Perhaps it's just because I never had one... but I've been playing my sister's guitar for approximately a week now, and i'm already pretty good, if i may say so. I mean, obviously not GOOD, the kind of good that would take years to cultivate, and i obviously still suck, but for having played for just a week I'd say i'm good. It's fun.

songs i have learned:
::Everlong (foo fighters) (that was with in a day!)
::Wonderwall (oasis)
::Crash into Me (dave matthews)(sorta... it's a bitch on the pinky)
::Hang (matchbox twenty) (but i have to look at the cheat sheet for that one, it's kinda complicated)
::the power chords to Closing Time (semisonic)... it's good fun. weeee!

Why is it that I feel like I have nothing intelligent to say when I open the blogger window?

Yep, i'm still fuckin' sick. Still. God dammit, why can't I get better? :P

On the up-side, i am feeling a bit better... though my throat still hurts like fuck if i don't take advil, and my nose is stuffy. I'll stop my bitchin'.

Mmmm... boring christmas break at home... can't hang with friends 'cause i'm sick... keep coughing... ears nose throat hurt... hehe. i just said that i'd stop my bitchin'.

hey mike, i love the way you found my site for searching on google for "kat reinhart is a sexy sexy bitch". That makes me happy. (:



::insert rant here about mother's bitchiness::


blegh. i had sonic for dinner. tasted good going down, but now i feel fat and icky.
oh well.



So yeah, back home and everything. Haven't seen any friends, except for andrew who stopped by on friday on his way from tech in lubbock to his parent's
new house in houston. haven't quite decided how i feel about being home either. kinda nice to have a mom around, except when she's yelling at me for this or that. not that i missed having to do the dishes and stuff... the food's better here, but i haven't really been able to enjoy it because of this cold, which my roommate heather was kind enough to pass along onto me before break. I think I'm getting better though because i can swallow again. throat isn't sore anymore, really... just kinda lumpy. a bit scratchy too. got a cough, but i think i'm over the contagiousness thing. eh.

got grades for japanese (a-, though i dont' know quite why...) and calc (a) and am happy about both... yay. parents were pleased with the calc grade, had been expecting a b. (: weee!



blog blog blog. blog. blog blog blog blog. blog blog.

i like blogs. blogs make me happy.

i do not like colds. colds make me sad. fortunately mine is going away. yay going away colds.

cheese is yummy.


meet me in outer space
we could spend the night
watch the earth come up
i've grown tired of that place
won't you come with me
we could start again

how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
it's better than i ever knew

meet me in outer space
i will hold you close
if you're afraid of heights
i need you to see this place
it might be the only way
that i can show you how
it feels to be inside you

how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
it's better than i ever knew
how do you do when
you make me feel like i do

you are stellar
you are stellar

how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
it's better than i ever knew
how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
you make me feel like i do

incubus, "stellar"


i'm bitter to be leaving the state that i have claimed as my own. i'm bitter because i'm leaving stanford, and branner, and california, and mike, and all my friends, and my room... i'm also bitter because i got strip-searched in the airport. I'm not particularly looking forward to spending three weeks at home... finals might even be better. I'd write an IHum paper a week if I could not go home... but it will be nice to see my sister, and my brother, and my friends... but i'm not looking forward to the idea of being in texas. I'm not a big fan. Texas doesn't so much do it for me anymore. I've fallen in love with California and all that it represents... liberty, freedom, equality, free thought... i've fallen in love with mike rather than karl, and california rather than texas.
and i got strip-searched in the airport. i'm doubleplus bitter about that.

a long december and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember the last thing that she said
as you were leaving, and the days go by so fast

and it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in hollywood
if you think that i could be forgiven
i wish you would

the smell of hospitals and winter and
the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters but no pearls
and all at once you look across a crowded room
to see the way that light attaches to a girl

and it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in hollywood
if you think you might come to california
i think you should

drove up to hillside, met her sometime after 2am,
and talked a little while about the year
i guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
makes you talk a little lower
bout the things you could not show her

and it's been a long december and tehre's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember all the times i tried to tell myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass

and it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in hollywood
its been so long since i've seen the ocean
i guess i should



So I'm in the middle of packing to go home for 3 weeks... 3 weeks with my family. Yikes, dude. Yikes. I dunno how i'm going to be able to stay sane during that... hmm. I'm going to miss all my friends here... heather, becky, nicole, katie... mike... yeah. especially mike. he's great. (: it's only 3 weeks though, i can do it... we can do it... won't be a problem. plus, i'll get to see all my at-home friends... barbara, nathan, lizzie, big jon, jenny, natalie, brandon and nathan, everyone... it'll be cool. hopefully. nathan wants to get trashed with me... that might be fun, if we can figure out how to pull it off. and i'll get to see my sister.. i miss carrie... she's awesome. and the rest of my family too... it'll be cool. i suppose going home won't be bad, just different. i'm gonna miss everyone here, and this place, something wicked though. it'll be nice to take a vacation, but it'll be super-nice to come back here afterwards, have it be a new quarter, with new classes, and new people to see, and old people to see, and not have to worry about work for awhile. i need the vacation, but i need the return after the vacation even more. but to have one you must have the other, so it's not bad. i'll survive. plus, it'll be christmas. i like christmas.


imagine there's no heaven
it's easy if you try
no hell below us
above us only sky
imagine all the people
living for today
imagine there's no countries,
it isn't hard to do
nothing to kill or die for
and no religion, too
imagine all the people
living life in peace
you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one
i hope someday you will join us
and the world will live as one
you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one
i hope someday you will join us
and the world will be as one
-john lennon


Considering making a "procrastination tools" list... there are so many of them. My personal favorite today is this: YATTA! but there are so many more... how long can you look at this without laughing? or, from RA Molly, the Asian Prince - are you his princess?


i'm weird.

And then sometimes, when i'm done eating my oatmeal, I wonder what my webpage would be without a guestbook, without comment forms, and without a stats tracker. It'd be purely for me. How beautiful.

Sometimes, when I'm making oatmeal, I get this feeling, kind of squishy, like maybe I've added too much water. Then I stop calling it "oatmeal" and start calling it "oatmeal soup." It's still just as heartwarming, but with more volume and less fat.

"Good taste" is my motto when I make my oatmeal; this is to broaden relations among human.


christmas music...

puts me in a certain mood. it's cool. now i'm thinking about last christmas. I remember it was the friday night before finals started that i called into stanford to find out if i got in. so it was about a year ago that i ran around the house like a madwoman screaming "I GOT IN! I GOT IN!" i went to starbucks with jamie to celebrate, with lizzie, because she'd just gotten into duke too. wow, those were the days.

I think the index finger on my right hand may fall off. it hurts like fuck. stupid laser tag.

HOLY FUCK. I had written a whole fucking blog here and I just control-z'ed it away... why doesn't it have a fucking redo button???!!! WAAAAH! I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself!!!! Bangs fucking head on desk.

The point of hte blog i had written was that i am totally fucke up on caffeine right now. i'm on a majjr caffeine high. i'm making a ashitload of typos but i' dont care, i'm going to leave them in for effect. See, i'm not using the backspace button. So i got this idea to play a game of typer A but I got a 263 on it, not due to lack of speed but doe to lack ofa ccuracy. i can't type accurately right nwob ecause i'm so caffeinated. i'm also trying to come up with an idea for mysecond vagina monologue. my first one is incredible butmy secondo ne just doesn't wanna happen. I haven't got a topic. hmm.
dude, my hand is totally shaking. cool. i'm giving myself carpal tunnel syndrome as well, because i'm so wasted and because
we went laser questing.
it was cool. i shot people. but now my forearm hurts because ofthe fucking trigger (my gun was messed up and shit) it was hard. and now my forearm on my right arm hurts. and i'm not making it any better by frnatically typing... but whatever. i need to come up with a second idea for a vagina monologue; fuck.

fire trucks at wilbur? what the fuck?
alcohol poisoning? that'd suck.
so i'm holding my hand up and watching it shake. that's kinda fun, actually. damn.

i cna't think of anything else to blog about, so i'm gonna stop wasting my wrists. laters.


from jamie:
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

i love it that the only conditions under which i receive communication from karl are when he's trying to prove me wrong. he's sent me news articles about how stanford sucks, and today i got this one. http://www.cnn.com/2001/TECH/science/12/06/physics.reut/index.html interesting.


i think it's terrible that i'm happier when my roommate (jenny, not heather) is not around.

wasted today.
Spent the afternoon surfing the web. heather pointed me to a site that is "pro-ana" (meaning it supports anorexia as a lifestyle rather than as a disease) and so now i am highly disturbed. there are some fucked-up people out there... evidently there's a shitload of controversy surrounding these websites, because they promote self-destruction and starvation. lots of people trying to censor shit and stuff. i say what the fuck, dude, everyone's entitled to their opinions. and hell, if they want to look like they're from somalia, whatever.
fucked up shit, dude.

tonight i want to get some work done. it's only 7, which is good, but i seem to have no work ethic, after yesterday's ihum discussion where kristy totally blasted my project and ripped it apart. she's got a good point though, which is "how the fuck (okay, so she didn't say "the fuck) does this relate to foucault?" uh... it's about sex and power? I wonder if it's too late to change my project. *bangs head on desk* may i please fail ihum? please? fuckers.

might go to the library later. get some shit done.

so lately i've been wondering who will be there to take my place
when i'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face
every great wave shall fall and it'll fall upon us all
beetween the sand and stone, could you make it on your own?

if i could then i would go wherever you will go
way up high or down low i'll go wherever you will go

and maybe i'll find out a way to make it back someday
to watch you to guide you through the darkest of your days
every great wave shall fall and it'll fall upon us all
and i hope there's someone out there who can
bring me back to you

if i could then i would i'd go wherever you will go
way up high or down low i'd go wherever you will go

run away with my heart
run away with my hope
run away with my love

i know now it's quiet now my life and love might still go on
in your heart in your mind i'll stay with you for all of time

if i could then i would i'd go wherever you will go
way up high or down low i'd go wherever you will go

if i could turn back time
i'll go wherever you will go
if i could make you mine
i'll go wherever you will go
i'll go wherever you will go

:wherever you will go: by :the calling:

personality test results:
It's official. I'm a schizotypal, narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive. Cool. I rule.


-- Click Here To Take The Test --


New policy: SIGN THE FUCKING GUESTBOOK. especially if i don't know you.
k. thanks.


oh my fucking god, does this ahimsa girl not have anything better to do than hang around in our fucking room? she annoys me. she's sitting on the floor behind me eating a sucker *very* noisily and reading some fucking orientation material. she'll chill here after jenny leaves, too. RRRRGH.

"hello, you've reached jenny's roommate. Jenny's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name and number I'll have her call you back when she gets in. If you're trying to reach Heather, say so and I'll give the phone to her. If you're trying to reach me, get your ass over here and give me cpr because it'll give me a heart attack to actually receive a phone call."

daily ranting time

yes, it's time for that daily avoidance mechanism known as... blogging!
things to rant about: my roommate jenny. dining hall food. secret snowflake. annoying kids in my dorm. how much i hurt after working out on monday night.

jenny. her music. it pisses me off. she seems to be able to work with an amazing amount of noise in the room. i have no idea how she does it. also, she and her friends like to come in here and make noise while i'm trying to work, to no avail. a few nights ago we had the whole fuckin' basketball team again (sans chris, of course, because chris is frightened by jenny) (okay, so it wasn't the whole basketball team, it was just josh and rob, but still.) as well as ogonna and this one girl that jenny is friends with named ahimsa. it's a cool name, means nonviolence toward all... it kinda annoys me though, because she's annoying. i just want to ask her, do you know what your fucking name means? no? you should. and if she does, then why the fuck are you not a vegan?? grr. so anyway, everyone likes to come in here and turn up the rap music really loud and dance... never mind the fact that i'm sitting at my desk slaving over a problem set. problem sets are a foreign concept to this group. homework? what's that? let's go make noise, because surely if we're not doing homework then no one else is...
so tonight, ahimsa shows up and i'm just like, oh god, here goes. the two of them just make some noise for a few minutes and then jenny announces that she's going to some group called "cardinal life" which is evidently some sort of get-together for christians... and so she and ahisma leave, music still full fucking blast. that mystifies me. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT TURN IT OFF WHEN YOU LEAVE THE FUCKING ROOM?? DO YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT AS YOU WALK DOWN THE HALL?? (sorry for yelling. this bothers me though.) *sob*

after that rant, i don't feel like ranting about anything else.


i am the eggman, they are the eggman, i am the walrus, coo coo ca choo

i am the eggman, they are the eggman, i am the walrus, coo coo ca choo

mom: who will do my son's laundry?
RA: there are facilities in each dorm
mom: but no service?
no ma'am, he'll have to do his own laundry
oh my. he'll have to get a girlfriend


mmm. just got an email from kennell with the subject line, "can we mimic explicit sex?" hmmm.... No, Kennell, i'm inclined to say we cannot.

ahh, so i'm almost out of avoidance mechanisms, and therefore it's time for me to begin publishing things online. i'll start out by blogging, then i'll decide to change the sidebar on my webpage, and while i'm at that, i might as well change the format of my webpage, and then the content will go, and then it'll be 2AM and i won't have gotten shit done on anything but my webpage. it's a vicious cycle. Especially when i have an ihum final project due next week, a final on monday, a problem set due on thursday, an interview in japanese on wednesday. yeah. it's hell week, obviously. mmm...
...mmm, primal scream... primal scream is fun. at midnight every night during dead week you open your window and scream out of it, as loud as you can. it's a beautiful thing, to hear the scream resounding across campus. it's great.
so it's also secret snowflake this week. i find secret snowflake amusing. too bad i missed the signups or whatever. actually, i'm starting to think that it wasn't too bad that i missed the signups, because doing stupid shit just isn't my bag, baby. ah well. Laughing at people doing stupid shit, however, is my bag... so it's all good.

and now, in honor of "dead week that isn't really dead," i give you: "Who needs sleep?" by the Barenaked Ladies.

now i lay me down not to sleep
i just get tangled in the sheets
i spin and sweat three inches deep
just lay back and claim defeat

chapter read and lesson learned
i turn the lights off while she burned
so while shes three hundred degrees
i throw the sheets off and i freeze

my lids down, i count sheep,
i count heartbeats
the only thing that counts is that
i won't sleep, i count down,
i look around

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

my hands are locked up tight in fists
my mind is racing filled with lists
of things to do and things i've done
another sleepless night's begun

my lids down, i count sheep,
i count heartbeats
the only thing that counts is that
i won't sleep, i count down,
i look around

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

so much joy in life so many pleasures all around
but the pleasure of insomnia is one i've never found
with all life has to offer there's so much to be enjoyed
but the pleasures of insomnia are ones i can't afford

my lids down, i count sheep,
i count heartbeats
the only thing that counts is that
i won't sleep, i count down,
i look around

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war


today's random thought: the dorms in wilbur are in alphabetical order, starting from the lower left (if you're in branner). think about it... arroyo, then cedro, then junipero, and okada, on the other side there is otero, rinconada, soto, and trancos. how cool is that? okay, so not that cool but whatever. random observation. weee.


"hey dad, what do you think about your son now?" -filter

okay, so that post below this one, the one thats nothing but a broken picture link, well, here's the story. i'm an idiot.
i forgot to close the quotation marks [img src="....."] tag. yeah. so it thought everything after that was in the link or something. so, to add to the funness, i can't click the "edit" link in blogger to delete the fuckup post. so, there it will remain, ever a reminder of how stupid kat can be. i'm so cool.
and, to add to the KAT IS AN IDIOTness, I deleted the post that i made yesterday that had so many cool comments!!! *sigh.* i'm such a fuckup.

*bangs head on desk* what, oh what, ever posessed me to have twelve?!?!


So, I think I'm gonna do some archives here. My blog hates the concept of archiving, who knows why... that's why there has been a definite dearth of archives recently. But, I think I can just do it manually by months... they'll be long, but whatever. And i'll put them on my stanford webspace rather than on blogspot. *shrug* eh.

Webmastering is for me the ultimate avoidance mechanism. Whenever I have a shitload to do, I work on my webpage. It's great. Today I have a problem set due in math tomorrow (which i've decided to mostly blow off, due to a 108 on the midterm, and the fact that we get one free hw dropped) and an abstract for my final IHum project due in section tomorrow. It's really bad; I'm finding myself thinking about doing the abstract in the time between math and section tomorrow. I don't think that'll work, Kat... you need to do it today.

Once again, it's ass-cold here. I kind of like it. I bundle up in my happy sweater, my happy hat, my happy gloves, and occasionally even my happy scarf (biking home from FroSoCo this morning, it would have been *really* nice...). Mmm. Lots of happy clothing.

Mmm. Ask me about last night sometime if you want an entertaining story. I don't find it bloggable, because even though this is "kat... uncensored" i have found my home IP address in the stats from time to time... danger, Will Robinson!
With that said, however, I aced my vocab quiz this morning. Just something to think about.

Today is an Enya day. I only have four Enya tracks, though, which kind of upsets me, because I want to listen to more Enya today.

I decorated my desk for the holidays... which involved hanging the cheap glass ornaments on a sprig of plastic greenery that is duct-taped to the shelf above my desk. It's festive. Yay festivity. Merry Yuletide.

Mmmm.... time to make archives. Weeeee!

please don't say i love you
those words touch me much too deeply
they make my core tremble
don't think you realize the effect you have over me
and please don't look at me like that
it just makes me want to make you
near me always
and please don't kiss me so sweet
it makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
and please don't touch me like that
makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
and please don't come so close
it just makes me want to make you
near me always
please don't bring me flowers
they only whisper the sweet things you'd say
and don't try to understand me
your hands already know too much anyway
it makes me want to make you
near me always
and when you look in my eyes
please know my heart is in your hands
it's nothing that i understand
but in your arms you have complete power over me
so be gentle please
your hands are in my hair but
my heart is in your teeth baby and
it makes me want to make you
near me always
my heart is in your teeth baby and
it makes me want to make you
near me always
makes me want to make you
near me always
i wanna be near you always

jewel, "near you always"


do you ever question your life
do you ever wonder why?
do you ever see in your dreams
all the castles in the sky?
oh tell me why
do we build castles in the sky
oh tell me why
all the castles way up high
-ian van dahl, "castles in the sky"

I woke up in mid afternoon, ‘cause that’s when it all hurts the most
I dreamed I never know anyone at the party and I’m always the host
If dreams are like movies then memories are films about those
You can never escape you can only move south down the coast
I am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I am an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you’ve never stared off into the distance then your life is a shame
And no, I’ll never forget your face, sometimes I can’t remember my name

Hey Mrs. Potter, don’t cry,
Hey, Mrs, Potter, I know why
But Hey mrs. Potter won’t you talk to me?

Well, there’s a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings
And there is always one last light to turn out, one last bell to ring
And the last one out of the circus has to lock up everything
Or the elephants will get out and forget to remember what you said
And when the ghosts of the world linger inside of your head
And when the ferris wheel junkies will spin there forever instead
When I see you a blanket of stars covers me in my bed

Hey Mrs. Potter don’t go
Hey Mrs. Potter don’t know but
Hey Mrs. Potter won’t you talk to me

Well the blue light reflections they cover my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey I can bleed as well as anyone but I need someone to help me sleep
So I throw my hair into the air and it swims in the beats
It’s just a brief interruption of the swirling gusts in the jet stream
Well I know I don’t know you and you’re probably not what you seem
Oh, but I’d sure like to find out so why don’t you climb down off that movie screen

Hey Mrs. Potter don’t turn
Hey Mrs. Potter I burn for you
Hey Mrs. Potter won’t you talk to me

And when the last king of Hollywood shatters his glass on the floor
And orders another we wonder what he did that for
‘cause when I know I have to get out ‘cause I have been there before
so I gave up my seat a the bar and I head for the door
we drove out to the desert just to lie down under this bowl of stars
we stand up in the palace like it’s the last of the great pioneer town bars
we shout out these songs against the clang of electric guitars
you can see a million miles tonight but you can’t get very far
you can see a million miles tonight but you can’t get very far

hey Mrs., Potter, won’t touch
Hey Mrs. Potter it’s not much
But Hey Mrs. Potter won’t you talk to me
Hey Mrs. Potter wont you talk to me
Hey Mrs. Potter won’t you talk to me

counting crows, "Mrs. Potter's Lullabye"

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and everything you do
yeah they were all yellow
i came along
i wrote a song for you
and all the things you do
and it was called yellow
so then i took my time
oh what a thing to have done
and it was all yellow
you're skin, oh yeah you're skin and bones
turning in to something beautiful
and you know, you know i love you so
you know i love you so
i swam across
i jumped across for you
oh what a thing to do
cause we were all yellow
i drew a line
i drew a line for you
oh what a thing to do
and it was all yellow
and you're skin, oh yeah you're skin and bones
turning into something beautiful
and you know for you i'd bleed myself dry
for you i'd bleed myself dry
it's true
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and all the things that you do
coldplay, "yellow"


define weird:

trying to do homework in your pajamas while the number one recruits in the nation for volleyball and basketball sit on your futon reading cosmo and wired.

that's weird.

Okay, look here, david, i went home for thanksgiving. I had better things to do than blog. Well, actually, I kept a running commentary on my journey, but whatever. so here goes.

11-21-01- 1:47 PM PST
To blog.
That sounds like the phrase Westley utters in the Princess Bride when Billy Crystal fills his lungs up with the bellows and then presses on it. “tobllaaaaatth”
Anyway. To blog. I am writing this now to blog later. It is a chronicle of my trip home… my trip home. Home. What an odd concept that is. I feel now that Stanford is my home, that Branner is my home… that California is my home. But suddenly I have been told that Southlake is my home, when I thought I had moved out of Southlake a long time ago. The only part about it that will feel like home is my actual house, and my family. And I wonder if even in my own home if I’ll feel like a guest. Like the family has started to get along without me, like they will be accommodating me because I’m a guest, not because I am at home. I suppose that’s what most frightens me about going home – that it will not really be home. That I’ll be a stranger in a strange land, in my “hometown.” Shusshin. Shusshin wa Texas no Southlake desu. Even more surreal than seeing my family again will be seeing my friends. My friends who have all moved on to a new phase in their lives… each one of us has a new group of friends, a new home, now…
So I’m sitting here in the San Jose airport listening to Fiona Apple moan, “Nothing’s gonna change my world, nothing’s gonna change my world.” No, Fiona… you’re wrong. Everything has changed my world. My world has changed my world. I’ve changed my world, but my world has also changed me. I remember getting off the plane in San Francisco thinking, I will not leave the state of California for two months. Well, two months it has been. Now, it’s time for me to say “farewell” to this gorgeous state which I have adapted myself to, which I have made my own. I have become California and California has become me… what will Texas say when she sees me again? “My, how you’ve changed, my, how you’ve stayed the same!” Nothing could be closer to the truth.

11-22-01- 11:14 PM CST

Thanksgiving day has come and gone once more without really feeling like a holiday. Thanksgiving never really feels like a holiday to me. I really don’t know why. But then, very few days actually do feel like holidays… and I suppose if by feeling like a holiday I mean that we had dinner and ate pie and were home, then it felt like a holiday. Just to me it felt like it was lacking… something. Who knows what.
I spent the day napping. Kind of odd, actually. I learned why they put that little warning on the back of cold and allergy pills: “do not use with alcohol.” I mean, it’s not like I got piss-assed drunk and took cold meds, but I did have a half-glass of wine and a half-glass of champagne, and combined with the medication I was taking to stave off these allergies that I seem to have developed in the interim (I appear to be allergic to Texas. I’m not complaining.), I got very, very drowsy. I slept. I suppose I took three naps this afternoon, and almost a fourth. Weirdness.
Last night in the airport I remember seeing children that reminded me of myself. The first was a little girl, probably four to six, in the San Jose airport, who was dancing across the floor avoiding stepping on cracks. I couldn’t help but smile and think of what that little girl will be like when she’s eighteen. Perhaps she’ll be dancing across the tiles in the quad of Stanford University with some boy who understands perfectly why she orchestrates her steps so carefully… and why you just can’t step on cracks. The second was a boy who was probably five who was trying to teach his mother how to use a palm pilot, but she just didn’t get it. I got a kick out of that… “No, mommy, push THIS button!” “Uh-oh, what did I do wrong?” “You didn’t hit the right button! You have to tap here and then here!” It was really amusing. Then, in the Dallas airport, I saw a small girl, again probably four to six, who was playing a game about “only stepping on the white parts of the floor.” Maybe it was even the same girl. It was still amazingly cute.
So after the effects of the cold medication and the alcohol wore off, I taught myself how to play “Everlong” by the Foo Fighters on the guitar. Carrie bought herself a good entry-level Fender Strat Squier last week, so I got to fool around with it. I’ve got most of the basic chords for Everlong down… I wonder if Mike will be impressed when I play it for him. The tips of the fingers on my left hand kinda hurt. I bet guitarists have callused fingers.
Tomorrow, hopefully I’ll get to hang with some of my homies. Everyone was surprised to hear that I’d be in town for the break, so hopefully people will want to chill.

11-24-01 1:13 AM CST

I can’t sleep.
I just got back from hanging out with Barbara and Natalie about an hour ago. I tried to sleep for about 45 minutes, and I felt that I had a ton of stuff on my mind that needed writing down. So I started thinking about my IHum project, and the way Katie and I are writing our Vagina Monologues. I decided on a theme for my monologue… the way the words “vagina” and “virgin” have four letters in common, and how they both apply to me. I can’t talk about my vagina without talking about my virginity, so why not bring both “out of the dark” so to speak and make people nice and uncomfortable by talking about both. That’d be cool.
So I started writing some vaginality. It’s actually kind of refreshing, talking about private parts. I think our society would be a lot better off if we all said the word “vagina” at least once a day. I’ve tried, over the past few weeks, and I think I’ve succeeded, for the most part. Except for Thursday, when I was just talking to my family… I think that my grandmother would be shocked. Or my mother would be. But that’s just not the sort of thing you talk about with them. But I’m pretty sure I said “Vagina” to Barbara tonight… but I can’t be sure. That’s a good thing, because saying it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Vagina. Vagina. I have a vagina. Guys talk about penises, why can’t we talk about “vagina” more often? It’s a good thing. Vaginas are good. They’ve been stigmatized by society, so we owe it to them to make it up. Eh. Get over your sorry selves. I have a vagina, and I’m not afraid to use it. Ooooh, I like that line… (copy-pastes line into v-word document) hehehehe. It works. Hooray for vaginas.
So it’s 1:20, and I really don’t feel tired. This is a Bad Thing, because I need to be up and at ‘em with the rest of the family in the morning. I don’t know what’s on the calendar for tomorrow, other than gelato with my home fries, but I’m sure it’ll be interesting… Why is it that I can fall asleep anytime during the day (especially during calculus class) but I can’t fall asleep at night? Maybe it’s the mocha I had at Starbucks with Barbara…
Talked to Mike for awhile tonight on the phone. That was a good thing. He’s having a good time in LA. It sounds like a lot of fun. He also promised me that he’d come pick me up from the San Jose airport on Sunday night, which is a Good Thing. It’s so nice dating someone with easy access to a car… yay cars. Sucks for us frosh, who don’t get cars…

Today’s song clip: I Know by Save Ferris (from the 10 things I Hate About You soundtrack)
My momma said to stay away from guys like you
She said they were nasty, make me do things I don’t wanna do
Stay away from bad boys, they’ve got one thing on their mind
Their hormones are raging, and they want it all the time
And I know know ‘cause she said so but I can’t just let you go
And I know know ‘cause you said so and I can’t just let you go
Well I love you very much you’re nice to see and nice to touch
But I would never ever ever treat you wrong be waiting for you all along
And I know know ‘cause you said so and I can’t just let you go
And I know know ‘cause you said so and I can’t just let you go
Can’t let you go, can’t let you go
I said I want you to know
I said I want you to know right now
I said I want you to know…
And I know know ‘cause she said so and I can’t just let you go
And I know know ‘cause you said so and I can’t just let you go
And I know know ‘cause you said so and I can’t just let you go
Never let you go

11-24-01 11:44 PM CST
Hung out with tons of people at Starbucks tonight. It was me and Lizzie and Nathan and Barbara and Jenny and Natalie. We ran into tons of people there too, people that we graduated with and people who have yet to graduate. We talked about how amazing college has been… Lizzie and I are both happy and in relationships right now… other people are having trouble meeting members of the opposite sex. It was really neat trying to catch up with everyone, after having been apart for so long, but there was also weirdness there. Like we’d all moved on and were together for old time’s sake. I got shit for going to Stanford, which wasn’t so cool. I wish people would stop seeing it as a “prestigious university” and see it as a fucking college. It’s college. I go to class. I study. I party. Same as anywhere else. Get over it.
I’ll stop bitching now. (:

November 25, 2001 7:17 PST (just because PST is convenient…)
I’m in the air again, on the way back to Stanford. It was an interesting vacation, I suppose. It went by pretty damn fast, really… Kind of funny the way that works. Now I look at my syllabus and realize that there is only one real week in the quarter, the end of next week being dead week, followed by exams, and I’ll be home again in two and a half weeks. That’s weird, dude. Weird. But yeah, it’ll be cool. Christmas will be nice because I won’t have too much work to do over the break (if any… I doubt there will be any) which is a Good Thing. It’ll be all Christmas like and shit. And then it’ll be my birthday and the start of winter quarter and a whole bunch of classes and stuff. Eh. I could take that or leave it. But I can say that being at Stanford is better than being at home, because I have two live-in friends and a ton more just down the hall… but I do miss my home friends when I’m there. It’s an intricate balance you have to strike… between there and here… kind of weird. Oh well.
Wee, bloggie!!!!!!!!
Heh heh heh. Yeah, I’m a weirdo.


eric: have fun doing shit
me: oh i will....
me: if by "shit" you mean mike....
eric: LOL
eric: bad kat!
eric: well, i'd have fun doing him too

make of that what you will.

i'll know
by fiona apple

so be it, i'm your crowbar
if that's what i am so far
til you get out of this mess
and i will pretend
that i don't know of your sins
til you are ready to confess
but all the time
all the time
i'll know, i'll know
and you can use my skin
to bury secrets in
and i will settle you down
and at my own suggestion
i will ask no questions
while i do my thing in the background but
all the time
all the time
i'll know, i'll know
baby, i can help you out
i'll see you still around
so for the time being
i'm being patient
and i'll miss this bitterness
if you'll just consider this
even if it don't make sense
all the time
give it time
and when the crowd becomes your burden
and you've already closed your curtain
i'll wait by the backstage door
while you try to find
the lines to speak your mind
and pry it open, hoping for an encore
and if it gets too late
for me to wait
for you to find you love me
and tell me so
it's okay
don't need to say it --


oh make me over
i'm all i wanna be
a walking study
in demonology

when i listen to hole, i remember my eighth grade year. what an odd year that was. i really don't remember that much of it, other than the fact that i was an angry adolescent. it was painful. i didn't have very much self-confidence... that was before i realized that true coolness comes from within, and if you have the confidence in yourself to be strong then you can handle anything. but no, i was an amphibian then. a tadpole. i was starting to sprout legs, but i still had that hideous tail that made me want to hide in the corner.
i remember more than anything just being angry. liking boys who would never like me back. i remember mom telling me that i dressed like a pearl jam reject, in my flannel and baggy jeans. i remember abusing my albuterol inhaler. i remember skipping athletics almost every day spring semester to go with stephanie and play with the animals in mr. allison's room. what a liberating discovery it was that they didn't take attendance in that class, or that you could slip between the cracks and get out without anyone noticing.
eighth grade is the year i usually overlook when i remember my past. ninth grade and seventh grade stand out so much more: seventh because of the "nathan drama" and ninth because of that excruciating moment when i asked jason burns to the backwards prom and he looked at me like, who the fuck are you? eighth grade... it just wasn't. it wasn't exciting, it wasn't fun, but it wasn't terribly painful either.
i think that's the year i was closest to hitting rock bottom though. i think that if my parents hadn't had such a close eye on me i would have started smoking pot and drinking. of course, at that point, i thought that those two things were the epitome of bad-assery, but no one i hung out with did either, so i suppose i was fortunate in that respect.
eighth grade must have been the year i went trick or treating with barbara and abbi as two hippies (abbi and i) and a psycho four-year-old (barbara, who else?)...
ohh, that was the year that barbara cast the love spell on brian at the colorguard sleepover... and had a stalker for the next six years. that incident, as well as a few ouija-board-related incidents at abbi's house, totally freaked me out.
i wore black fingernail polish. i wanted to be a freak. i wanted kurt cobain to still be alive. i wanted to fuck spencer rex. now, he's a used-up drughead, still in high school. he skated. i wished i could skate. i wanted to be an outcast. i wanted to be tortured.
i wrote a shitload of poetry that year. bad poetry. poetry i always meant to put to music, but it just didn't work. the poetry of someone who wishes they hurt, but really doesn't. someone who wants to be misunderstood, just so they can yell at their parents, "you just don't understand me!" the problem was that they did. so much for my plans to be a starving artist.
i think i wanted to be courtney love.

oh look at my face
my name is might have been
my name is never was
my name is forgotten

what an odd day

here's something weird about me. I reload my own blog compulsively. not to up the counters, because i have a counter block on this computer, but just to see if i've posted anything more to my blog. i expect someone else to update it for me. who knows why. maybe i'm just expecting people to leave me comments. maybe i'm just bored. hmm.

i hate napping in the afternoon. i wake up all disoriented 'n shit. i don't know when it is, or where i am. blah.

today is monday. wednesday, i go home. that'll be hell. I leave campus at about 12:30 in a carful of four sophomores headed for LA (hooray for people who like me and give me rides!!) My flight isn't until 4:05, but due to security regulation shit and travel hell on the day before thanksgiving, i figure it'll be hard to get there too early. because i just looooove hanging out in airports. i bet i can find some shit to do... study japanese, play with my computer, read a book... something. blah.
I get to dallas about 9:30... theoretically. which means that the flight might be in before 10:30, and i might be home by 11. More likely I'll get home in the late hours... ugh. what a day. that's 10 hours of travel time, allowing for the time change... ew. not looking forward to that one. :P

thursday is thanksgiving. friday and saturday i hope to be able to spend some time with my friends from home. sunday night, i fly back. i need to get an answer from mike on whether or not he can pick me up from the airport on sunday night, so i can make plans. not that it's that bad, because getting from the airport is easier. i could just flag down a shuttle or whatever. it'd just be nice to have a familiar face there to pick me up.

it's weird, i'm going to miss my friends here while i'm at home. it seems like this would be the place where i do the missing, but it feels like home now. i live in branner hall. i love branner. i love stanford. i love california. they are my home now.

tonight is the ihum fair, where millions of frosh, sick of their autumn ihum courses, go to pick out a new winter-spring sequence. i'm looking at power and passion, serious laughter, and reason, passion and reality. i've accepted the fact that ihum sucks and that i'm going to have to take an ihum course, so i'm trying to find the least sucky of them all. :P

oh yeah, i aced my japanese vocab quiz this morning. tomorrow, we get our calc midterms back. i don't know how i did, but silvia said she saw the top of the grading sheet of mine and that i aced both the first two questions, which is a good sign. i can't have gotten less than a 40 then.

anyway, jamie's here, so i need to publish and head off to the ihum fair. what fun. weee!


The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him?"
--Chuang Tzu //wow, jamie

all i ever wanted
all i ever needed
is here
in my arms
words are very
they can only do harm
--depeche mode

language is an annoying necessity

today was big game

so, we big gamed. here's the chronology of events of today:
3:00: I go to bed.
5:30: my alarm goes off. "fuck," i say. then, "Big Game today," i think, and pry myself out of bed, get dressed and presentable, and...
6:00: haul my butt to the Shak. wait around awhile for people to show up (no one makes 6AM ATSes, i should learn this.
6:30: we go out to the stadium to rehearse.
7:00: we rehearse. (walking to the stadium is a pretty big ordeal, especially with late people and stuff.
10:00: rehearsal ends. damn, that was a long rehearsal.
10:15: weee breakfast!!
10:40: go back to my room and awake the sleeping kal student on my futon. he went to high school with heather, so he wasn't totally random, but whatever. talked to him for awhile while i am walking in and out of the room preparing for the game.
11:20: ATS.
11:40: we line up to march to the stadium. weeee.
12:00: we march into the stadium. it's funny. most of the stadium is red and white, but there's this large portion behind the end zone that is largely blue and yellow. cal band performs their all-serious-n-shit pregame show, we perform our goofy pregame show, we play the anthem together.
12:30: game starts. it really wasn't that exciting, even though we didn't win by the margin we expected to. perhaps that's why... we were kind of disappointed. we were actually behind at one point, which REALLY bummed us. we ended up with the win, 35-28, but it wasn't the 60-0 we were hoping for. ah well.
5:00: game ends. weeee.


Here are the basics of what went on tonight. There was an electrical
fire in the microwave of one of the rooms in the first floor odd hall.
How exactly it was started is unknown, but a cell phone was put in the
microwave, which was subsequently turned on. We do not know who did
this. Police are investigating the situation, so if you saw anyone you
did not recognize in Branner around 1:00 wandering the halls, please let
a staff member know so we can give any clues we have to the police.
According to the firemen, there is no structural damage to the
building. There are a few important things to be taken from this
situation, not only in Big Game Week, but in general:

1. LOCK YOUR DOORS. Even if you are sleeping. Keep your keys on you at
all times.
2. DO NOT PROP OUTSIDE DOORS. People we don't want coming in will come
in, and this weekend is an especially vulnerable time with so many extra
people on campus.
3. LOCK YOUR BIKES, & LOCK THEM TO SOMETHING. Many have been stolen,
locks have been cut, but don't tempt a thief with an unlocked bike.
4. DO NOT DO ANYTHING RETALIATORY. We don't know who did this, it could
have been anyone, Stanford, Cal, or otherwise. It does not help anyone
to do anything violent, let's take the high road.
5. KEEP THE BRANNER LOVE. We saw a lot of good things tonight with
residents getting together to make sure everything and everyone was
okay. Keep up this attitude of looking out for one another.

That is all for tonight, it's time for bed.
If you have any questions about what went on, feel free to contact a
staff member.

Take care y'all,
Branner Staff


Okay, so i should be sleeping, 'cause it's my night at the Shak. Weee. That means I'm going to be spending the entire damn night at the band shak... what fun. So yeah, time to nap. yay naps.


Well, it's almost all over... just a couple more hours to go. After my Ihum facilitation it'll just be the calc midterm... and I think I'll be okay on that . I did really well on both the practice midterms, which is definitely a Good Thing, so I'm not too concerned about the midterm itself. Anyway, after the midterm I'm just gonna crash... perhaps I'll go sit at the coho by myself and draw people. Last night I got the strange urge to draw someone, so i sketched a picture of this kid Mikey who was performing at the coho then. it turned out ok... i need more practice. It's fun stuff though... weee!


tenki wa yokunai desu

so it's raining again today... how dreary. everyone is bitching and moaning about the weather... if only they knew that this is what it's going to be like from january through spring break. haha.

don't it make you sad to know that life
is more than who we are?

Worked out at tresidder again today. I feel pretty good. The problem is that it's so time-consuming... working out and then showering is at least an hour and a half. but then, it's worth it if it helps me feel better about myself.

lost for you,
i'm so lost for you.

the grey ceiling on the earth
well it's lasted for awhile
take my thoughts for what they're worth
i've been acting like a child
your opinion what is that
it's just a different point of view

what else what else can i do
i said i'm sorry yeah i'm sorry
i said i'm sorry but what for
if i hurt you then i hate myself
i don't wanna hate myself

why do you choose your pain
if you only knew how much i love you

i won't be your winter
i won't be anyone's excuse to cry
we can be forgiven
and i will be here

the old picture on the shelf
has been there for awhile
frozen image of ourselves
we were acting like a child
innocent in a trance
in a dance that lasted for awhile

you read my eyes just like your diary
just remember, please remember
i'm not a beggar, and what's more
if i hurt you then i hate my self
i don't wanna hate myself

why do you choose your pain
if you only knew how much i love you

i won't be your winter
i won't be anyone's excuse to cry
we can be forgiven
and i will be here

i won't be your winter
i won't be anyone's excuse to cry
we can be forgiven
and i will be here


i don't mind you coming here
and wasting all my time
'cause when you're standing oh so near
i kind of lose my mind
it's not the perfume that you wear
it's not the ribbons in your hair
i don't mind you coming here
and wasting all my time

i don't mind you hanging out
and talking in your sleep
it doesnt' matter where you've been
as long as it was deep, yeah
you always knew too very well
and you look so fancy, i can tell
i don't mind you hanging out
and talking in your sleep

i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to feed
i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to bleed

i don't mind you coming here
and wasting all my time time
'cause when you're standing oh so near
i kind of lose my mind, yeah
it's not the perfume that you wear
it's not the ribbons in your hair
i don't mind you coming here
and wasting all my time

i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to feed
i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to bleed

i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to feed
i guess you're just what i needed
i needed someone to bleed

you're just what i needed
you're just what i needed
you're just what i needed

i remember sophomore year in high school, when i had the hugest crush on patrick grady, the lead singer for a band at our school... they performed this song at the annual talent show and i thought it was the most amazing thing i'd ever heard. wow, that was an interesting year. and patrick was such a sexy bitch, too... mmm.

she was my once in a lifetime
happy ending come true
i guess i should have told her
i thought she knew
she said i took her for granted
that's the last thing i would do
oh i'll never understand it
i thought she knew
i thought she knew my world revolved around her
my love light burned for her alone
but she couldn't see the flame
only myself to blame
i should have known
i should have known
a heart full of words left unspoken
now that we're through
i tell my soul to have the silence broken
oh i thought she knew
i thought she knew my world revolved around her
my love light burned for her alone
but she couldn't see the flame
only myself to blame
i should have known
i should have known
she was my once in a lifetime
happy ending come true
oh i guess i should have told her
but i thought she knew
i thought she knew
i thought she knew
i thought that she knew.

(so, if you think nsync has no talent whatsoever, come over here and i'll give you a talking-to and we can listen to that song, the last one on the no strings attached disc. yeah. they're amazing.)

chill day. today is a chill day.
i love chill days.
flicks tonight... varsity blues! kicking off big game week with some sexy dawson's creek action. hooray for teenybopper heartthrobs.

i really can't wait until tuesday is over. then it'll all be over. monday i have the japanese vocab quiz, tuesday i have ihum critique, discussion facilitation, and the calc midterm. after that, i'm good to go.
then wednesday is our night in the shak.
and thursday we haven't got a problem set due.
and friday... gaieties! and the branner gaieties prank! i don't know how we're going to beat last year's 6-foot ejaculating penis, but we'll figure something out.
and saturday is Big Game!!! WEEEEEE!

It's too bad Big Game isn't going to even be a game this year... we're gonna wipe the golden bears into the dirt. poor guys haven't won a single game all season. :(

mmmm. big game week. mmm.


mmmm... blog me.

my feet stink. and i have nothing to say. i don't know why i'm even blogging right now. interesting.


tonight i'm tangled in my blanket of clouds
dreaming aloud
things just won't do without you
matter of fact
oh i'm on your back
i'm on your back
oh, i'm on your back

if you'd accept surrender, give up some more
weren't you adored
i cannot be without you
matter of fact
oh i'm on your back

if you walk out on me
i'm walking after you
if you walk out on me
i'm walking after you

another heart is cracked
in two
i'm on your back

i cannot be without you
matter of fact
oh, i'm on your back
i'm on your back
oh, i'm on your back

if you walk out on me
i'm walking after you

if you walk out on me
i'm walking after you
if you walk out on me
i'm walking after you

days like this i don't know what to do with myself
all day and all night
i wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
i say to myself i need fuel to take flight
and there is too much going on
but it's calm under the waves
in the blue of my oblivion
under the waves
in the blue of my oblivion
is that why they call me a sullen girl
sullen girl
they don't know i used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
but it washed me ashore
and it took my pearl
and left an empty shell of me
and there is too much going on
but it's calm under the waves
in the blue of my oblivion
under the waves
in the blue of my oblivion
under the waves
in the blue of my oblivion
it's calm under the waves
in the blue of my oblivion

-fiona apple, "sullen girl"

yeah, haven't blogged in awhile. life is going quite well though... quite well. installed the new OS on my sexy laptop making it even sexier. i'm in love with it. been spending a lot of time with mike... definitely falling for him. don't think that's a bad thing, however... (:

i'm listening to fiona apple, listening to her bitch and moan... i love her music, even when i can't relate to it. something about her voice is calming and puts me in a certain mood. good stuff.

flicks tonight was AI. Man, i loved that movie. It was kind of long the second time around (i dont' remember thinking it was so long the first time though) but man, it was still awesome. Deep. of course, no one else in the theater appreciated it. Ah well.

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world.


my os is sexier than your os

yeah, i did it. i took the plunge. i gave into the man.

I installed Windows XP.

And I'm loving every minute of it.

Once you've had XP, you'll never go back, or that's what they say. Or something. Anyway, yeah. it's great. It's fast. It's sexy. It loads without problems. It's integrated. It's Bill G's next step in taking over the world. It's wonderful.


back by popular demand... kat... uncensored! weee!
mad props to my anonymous donor too. i love you.
(notice the lack of banner ads. :)


gravity by josh joplin group

i will not be here forever
so i will not waste any time
just pick my head up from off the bar dear
buy the next round, i'll be fine
spoken like a poet
who's just too drunk to know that

everybody falls
in small degrees
everybody falls
in small degrees
it's gravity
it's gravity

here within lies the king of graceland
which makes the point all too clear
we stand in long lines
praying our piece
and go home with a souvenir
and only fools rush in
to save a desparate man

everybody falls
in small degrees
everybody falls
in small degrees
it's gravity
it's gravity

pull me down
don't pull me down
pull me down
don't pull me down

when i was little i used to dream that
i had a cape and i could fly
i rescued my friends from burning buildings
and no one would ever die
costumes fade fast
superpowers pass

everybody falls
in small degrees
everybody falls
in small degrees
it's gravity
it's gravity


not mean telecasts baking balcony space.


wow. this weather is gloomy. it's the first rainy day we've had since i got here, over a month ago, and it's also the first day on pacific standard time, so it's double-dark and double-gloomy right now. it threatened rain all day, and finally started to drizzle sometime while i was in calculus lecture. not hard, but dreary. horribly dreary, but refreshing at the same time. it's odd.

cami is in the hospital... she went there last night, something about severe abdominal pain. last i heard they don't know if it's appendicitis, but i just heard shilpa say something about surgery. she'll be fine, i'm sure, but it's still kind of scary, not knowing what's wrong with her. hopefully she'll be home tomorrow.

last night flicks was the exorcist... man, that flick is so freaky. fortunately i was able to push it out of my mind and not freak out while i was trying to sleep. i don't think i'd have been able to make it through the show if it hadn't been for the kid on my left making smartass remarks throughout the movie, and for the mike on my right, who held my hand through the freaky parts. but it was a good movie. i enjoyed it.

this one's for you, jamie.

what an odd day.



isn't it amazing the way that plants take water and carbon dioxide, just out of the air, and turn it into this green stuff we see here? i mean, it's growing out of nothing. that material wasn't inside the seed it came out of, or in the soil, because the level of the soil is staying the same. The only thing that it appears to consume is water... and the co2 from the air... and it turns it into all sorts of stuff that is plants. it's a miracle. how did the plants ever come to figure out those chemical reactions?? i'm awed. my grass is growing.


so why is it that I keep working on my webpage when I know i ought to be doing homework? It's not that i'm ignoring work that needs to be done, everything's getting done, but I could be out having a "life" or something and instead I'm sitting here working on my webpage and editing my winamp playlist. Interesting. But whatever... I'm having a good time, and I'm getting everything done.

Flicks tonight - they canceled Rocky Horror. Evidently the distributor fucked up and it didn't get delivered... I don't know what the story is behind that. but they're showing Scream and the Exorcist, for free, instead, which is kinda cool, if I hadn't already paid for the damn show. Oh well, I think I'll be okay.

Halloween partied last night. It was a lot of fun. Fought off sketchy UCLA students, successfully avoided eating the "brownies" at Synergy, ran into a kid from my profro weekend, and had a good time. My roomies and I were Charlie's Angels, except we didn't stick together the whole night so it didn't look like we were dressed up. Oh well, it was still fun. (:

Weee. I wonder if there are any parties on Wednesday (other than the classic EBF Happy Hour, which is every wednesday night). I'm sure i'll hear about it. Good stuff.

And, I'm almost half done with my calc problem set, even though it's not due until Thursday! I am awesome.


ohhh, I just went to the ass-kickingest concert. So about 5:10, Joel IMs me and says, hey, you're going to see Save Ferris with me tonight. So i'm like, well, I've got this PAA dinner... lemme cancel it. Not like an advising dinner can compete with Save Ferris... so I was all, totally there. Man, the concert kicked ass. The warm-up bands were both really good... limitpoint and the flipsides... but then, save ferris blew them both away. RRRGH it was soooo awesome!!! They played "come on eileen" as the last song in their encore... ohh, it was the best concert. Man... i can't get over how cool that was!!!


I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
and I will never let you down

your friends were all well-meaning when they said
No one is good enough for you
Play with you emotion
Dismiss the notion, do what you have to do
People don't take chances with their hearts
Since I met you I am past the hardest part
So remember one thing - I will never let you down.

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
and I will never let you down

Sometimes you feel defeated, but it's okay,
You're not the only one.
And all the complications, bad situations
Happen to everyone
Doesn't matter how it ended or began
Sometimes the best that you can do is change your plan
Hope you understand that I will never let you down.

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
and I will never let you down

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
and I will never let you down

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
and I will never let you down
I will never let you down.
I will never let you down.
I will never let you down.

--The Verve Pipe, "Never Let You Down"

Hmm. changing the url of my blog... is this working? hmmm.
(suspected parental infiltration necessitates this.)

productivity of the wrong sort

so today i had a vocab quiz in japanese, and i have an ihum paper due tomorrow... and i stayed up until 2 am... working on my webpage. that's right... i was highly productive, but in the wrong way. unfortunately i bombed the quiz (i think the paper will be okay)... rrgh. i should have started studying for it sooner and studied more... but that's okay... my webpage is updated! i'm currently working on a redesign of the front page, because, well, it sucks right now. i want a more graphical, pretty layout, but i have exactly zero experience with that sort of stuff... so it may be awhile before it's up.

i have to do a fucking problem set for thursday too. god damn it. i hate this "work" thing... :P.

oh well... i'll get over it. i am a college student after all.


funny freaking story:
So last night, after we went swing dancing but before we went partying, Mike and I stopped by to chill here for awhile, right, so we were having a bit to drink (not a lot, just a bit)... the lights were off, the christmas lights were on, we were having a nice little... um... calculus studying moment, when there's this knock on the door. I figure it's one of my roommates, knocking to be polite, so I yell, "Come in!" So I get up and open the door, and standing there is my PAA Sagar, with a box of Krispy Kreme donuts... yikes. The look on his face as he realizes that I was indeed making out with one of his acquaintances... then we realize that standing next to Sagar is one of Mike's best friends.... yeah. the two of them just stood there and stared for a minute.... priceless. priceless. That's going on my all-time top 10.


So I got up in time to go to class this morning, and was packing my bag up and everything when i realized that Friday is the day that Japanese homework is due... oops. So I did that this morning instead of last night... but whatever. I can go to the 11AM Japanese class, say I slept late, because it's happened before, turn in my HW, go to the 1:15 calculus lecture, and be all good. Anyway, it was worth it to be able to hang out with Mike last night. We went to the Cantor Arts Center and looked at art and stuff, and then we went to the party at Roble, which was not very happening while we were there, and then we went back to Narnia and watched Jennie and Kate (sophomores I know from SCPJ) be very drunk then just hung out in his room. It was tons of fun. So what if I didn't get to bed until 2 - I had fun. And anyway, today's friday, so who cares??


Wow, there is some scary shit going on in the world today. I don't know what to make of it... anthrax sent to our leaders (democratic leaders!) and media... where are we safe? who is safe? what can we do? nothing.
<em>test of html</em><p>does html work when i post through the aim bot?

Guess who aced their japanese midterm? ohh, I think that would be me. I rule.


I think my roommate is the only person I've ever met who says "I have to go shower and shit" and means "I have to go shower, and I have to go shit."

The first thing she told Heather and I about herself was: "I shit a lot."

But that's okay, Jenny... I still love you.

Okay, so I totally just slept through Japanese. What an odd feeling. I woke up at 9:50 (class is at 10) and said, screw this, i'm sleeping some more. It's weird though because I got to bed before 1... but I am feeling a bit on the sick side, so I suppose sleep was what I needed. Last night Mike came by with some chicken soup and we ate chicken soup and played ping-pong... he killed everyone he played against, he's that good. i'm not. i lost almost every game I played... but perhaps I'll refine my "raw talent" in a few weeks... (yeah, right).
Oh well, I think I had better get my ass off to the 11:00 Japanese class, screw IHum...


Anyway, I hope this stuff all works... an AIM client that posts to my blog is a beautiful idea... makes my life easier. hooray for the guy that wrote this.

Sorry about the lack of posts in recent history - yeah. I've been super-busy. Stanford kicks ass. I had a midterm in Japanese today, and I have one in Calc tomorrow night... and an IHum paper due next tuesday. but I think I have it under control... good stuff.

So I'm posting this through an AIM client... it's almost as if I were having an AIM conversation. In fact, I am having and AIM conversation here, with mister blogbot. I wonder if it's going to work. I certainly hope so. Anyway, if this thing really works, you might be seeing some more blogging for me.

take notes, boys

if a girl you're into is feeling under the weather, you're guaranteed to win points if you bring her chicken soup.

just a word of advice. (:

ohhh, sketchy grad-studentness abounds

yeah, so i was at the atm trying to deposit some paychecks (turns out the bank of america atm won't accept deposits, how fucking lame is that??) and this apparent grad student came up behind me, waiting to use the atm... so i bitched about it not accepting my deposit and he asked me if i wanted to go get coffee!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

now that's sketchy.


Movie I watched last night:
so i married an axe murderer.

movies i still need to see:
pulp fiction
fight club
american pie 2 (which is on my hd, but i haven't gotten around to it yet)


movies i need to see:

fight club
so i married an axe murderer
pulp fiction

Okay, now my attempt to recover from the blogger eating incident.

But it's not happening. I don't remember the story I told earlier. I remember that it involved Becky totally hitting on a gay guy at a party last night though. Anyway, let's just leave it at that to minimize the beckybarassment.
I think it's probably a bad thing that I consider the weekend to start on wednesday (suiyoobi) nights, and extend through monday(getsuyoobi) nights. That just leaves one night a week for stuff such as "homework ", "studying", and "problem sets". But then, said concepts are certainly overrated, as are "midterms", "papers", and "grades". So... weekend is now wednesday (suiyoobi) through monday (getsuyoobi). Let Tuesday (kayoobi) handle the shit, and give the fun over to the other six days of the week! (Pardon the intrusion of the japanese, but I have a midterm in that class on getsuyoobi, and so I have to study these things.)

But I'm going to be following the rules tonight. The drink rules. The no beer rule. Beer is gross. And the no more than 2 in 2 hours rule. Especially especially around Mike. Because making an ass of yourself in front of certain guys is just not good. Especially when you've been trying so desparately (and apparently succeeding) to make a good impression on said guy. And when it's been a running joke to not see him while I'm sober for something like three straight weeks. That's bad, you know? Drinking is fun, but sobreity is underrated.

WAAAH! Blogger ate my blog! I blogged! I really did! About a half hour ago! But Blogger ate it... fuckers.

I'll reblog it later. I promise


i feel pretty damn good.

but that could just be because i'm hanging out with mike tonight at the coho.

yeah, probably.



I know, it's been awhile since I've blogged... once again, too damn busy leading my life to blog about it. My life has been so fucking full... I could just write about my schedule, or I could write a narrative of what I've done since last I blogged... but I think I'll just write what comes to mind.

Hmm. Where to begin. Today, I went to a protest in White Plaza. It was pretty interesting, because there were tons of people there supporting the peace movement, and also a few people who just wanted to call us morons. But there was pretty good support, even though the turnout was about 100 people... it was a neat experience. I wanted to go to the protest in Palo Alto, but I really don't have time, due to the huge amounts of IHum, calculus and japanese I am now avoiding.

Saturday was our scavenger hunt in San Francisco. It really was just a big group of kids roving the city, getting to know it a bit. I had a ton of fun... we took pictures of random shit. I proposed to the guy at FAO Schwartz who wears the toy soldier outfit.... he accepted... so I'm engaged to a toy soldier now. that's kind of cool. The trip was a blast though, and I saw so much of SF... one girl in my group got her nose pierced in the Haight... that was neat. I thought about doing my eyebrow, but decided that the eyebrow barbells they had there were too fat-looking... i don't want something that big through my face. If they had thinner ones I might have done it.

Friday night I got plastered. It wasn't a good experience. I managed to escape puking or somesuch grossness, but I couldn't see straight for awhile. So now, I've made rules for myself. No more beer and/or other malt beverages. No more than two shots in a two-hour period. Get buzzed, have fun, stay sane. (:
Fortunately I didn't blog while I was drunk on friday, or else i would have made a bigger ass of myself than last time...