It just occured to me that I really haven't had a breakdown since I got here. I suppose i'm due, then. i feel overworked. i feel like i can't handle the workload i have. i feel like taking 19 units was a really stupid idea. i wonder if i should drop my seminar. the problem is that dropping the seminar wouldn't solve the problem, since it really hasn't proven to be so much work yet. the problem is that i don't understand my math class, i'm falling behind in my japanese class (i got a "dooshiten deshita ka" on my last quiz, meaning "what happened?") and i can't keep up with the reading for ihum. i have a paper due in that class on tuesday, and i have no idea what i'm going to write it about. i have a vocab quiz in japanese on thursday which is conveniently the same day as my math midterm. the only option really would be to drop my seminar. i wouldn't do it because it's so much work, but because it's an hour and a half, 2 days a week, when i could be working on math or ihum or japanese. the seminar is something i really wanted to take though, and i would feel terrible dropping it because there were so many people on the waiting list that could have taken it in my place, and done well, and enjoyed it. and if i'm going to minor in japanese, this class will help me. who am i kidding, minor in japanese? ha. i can't speak the fucking language. i don't understand it. i forget vocab the day after the quiz.
i wonder if the girl who plowed into me on her bike realizes that that was the last straw in me officially declaring today a horrible day. i saw her coming. i looked at her and was like, that girl is going to hit me. i moved off to the left, and she swerved off to her right, the same direction as i was going. then bam, she hit me. right square on my right leg. i jammed my finger trying to grab her handlebars to keep her from hitting me too. i wasn't hurt, but for some reason after that my tailbone started to hurt again. like leftover from those horrible snowboard wipeouts i had 2 weeks ago. i hope it's not fractured or anything. *sigh*
i need to have an emotional breakdown, but i have a full-time roommate who never goes to class. and she's busy talking to kelli about some cute guy she met.
and i have so much i need to do that i can't handle it. i should really consider dropping my seminar.
and i need to go to the post office, but i'm scared to go back outside. i had a very-near bike collision yesterday, a girl in my dorm had a huge accident yesterday morning and knocked out a tooth, and i got hit today on my way back home from japanese. i can't handle this. they should outlaw bikes. they're dangerous.
"i'm losing and failing
when i move, i'm flailing"