I suppose I should stop playing the guitar when my fingertips start to bleed.

i suppose i should blog, even though i'd really just rather go to bed.

went driving with andrew, barbara, mike wallace. wallace drove. he has a mustang. back seat of mustang is small, very small.
went to eatzi's for dinner. that's this little grocery-store-type-thing with super-good food and super-high prices. but it's gourmet. and yummy. so we bought stuff. brought it back here and moped about. then we went driving.
went to sonic, got ice cream. drove. drove. somewhere in here barbara revealed that she didn't know what a malt was. tried to tell her it was like what's in the middle of a whopper. she was thinking burger king whoppers, not chocolate whoppers. so we went to an albertsons and bought whoppers. barbara didn't like them. so we drove. got lost. kept driving. ended up in fort worth. drove north. passed 1709. ended up in denton. took I-35 back south through lewisville. SNOW in denton and lewisville. Hopefully will come through S-town soon. i love waking up to whiteness where there had been green and brown. it's beautiful.
yes. i want to sleep.

ok, so the third time's the charm or something...
so i definitely saw the lord of the rings again, for the third time. taste them again, for the first time. like corn flakes, only less bland. and you don't need to sprinkle sugar on the movie to think it kicks ass.
jamie said she didn't think it lasted three whole hours, and that she was ready for another two. i told her there was another six hours coming, if you can wait a year or two. i'm not sure i can. well, maybe i can deal just watching the movie every month or so and reading the books. it's only twelve months, anyway.
casting: beautiful. i wouldn't have thought elijah wood should be frodo, but after having seen it i can't imagine it any other way. he really breathes life into the role. legolas is the best-cast character, where did they find this guy that looks like an elf? and aragorn. the eyes... viggo mortensen's eyes... they have something in them that screams "i am the lost king of gondor, and i will return!" ohh, it's great.
hmmm.. i really should re-read the book. after i finish Return of the King i will, so i can remember how much they left out of the movie. it's a lot... but i don't think it really detracted from the story.

after the movie, got coffee with jamie and mulholland and whiz-head... saw malia there. that was interesting, since jamie and i had been talking about how we kept seeing stanford people... (malia lives in otero, but she also lives in bedford which is like 20 minutes away. bedford evidently has a woeful lack of starbucks.) she's too cute. it was really funny though because she and her friend were both wearing black turtleneck sweaters and blue jeans... and so was i... so we all matched. hehe. it was funny.

after i dropped off jamie i dropped in on nathan's star wars fest... he and alex were subjecting amy to all three star wars movies in a row. she lost her star wars virginity. but of course nathan kept making jokes, and when i'm in his company i can't keep my mouth shut (i beat him to a diaper joke concerning the emperor and nursing homes), so she probably was scarred. hehe. it was cool, though, to see amy and alex again. amy's a senior this year, and alex is at trinity. yay band friends. mmm. yay return of the jedi. ewoks!

mmm. i'm liking the concept of bed right now.

"i wish the ring had never come to me. i wish none of this had happened."
"so do all who live to see such days. but it is not theirs to decide. all we have to decide is what to do with the time given us."
-frodo and gandalf

i should buy myself an acoustic guitar. that'd be cool.

mmm. going today to see LotR for the third time. cool. it'll be fun. i love that movie, love love love. i think i should see it in the theater more than i saw star wars episode one... because LotR was waaaay better. sooo, that means i'll have to see it at least eight times. unfortunately i dunno if that's going to happen, with me being a college student and not so much having movie theaters at my disposal. maybe they'll show it at flicks. that'd rule. so if you count today that'll be four. wee.

so mom's trying to get me to buy tickets home for spring break. i'd really rather do something else for spring break... being at home is going to suck, because it's a different break from all of my friends, and even my mom and sister. so i'd sit on my ass at home all week. or work at aundrea's. which would be money, but no fun. :P stupid weird-ass spring break.

blah.

weee lord of the rings! weee!

and here, for your viewing pleasure:

mmm, frodo... mmm

christmas pictures from the reinhart house:


the five of us, gathered for our annual feast...


my house, all illuminated for the holdiay.

weee!

I never quite remember how much i dislike shopping until I go. I spent the majority of today at North East Mall (read: far as fuck away). Wandered through their inferior Nordstroms, Gap, bought a pair of jeans at Abercrombie (oh my god, did i really do that? no people, you don't understand, I've never BEEN IN an abercrombie before today, and now i own a pair of their jeans... i guess it'll go with my banana republic shirt.)... bought jamie's christmas present at B&N because i'm a slacker and buy presents after the fact... had McD's for lunch. ew.

I've become addicted to JRR Tolkien. I'm about 2/3 of the way through the first half of Return of the King... unfortunately the way the second 2 books are structured, you have to wait until the second half of the book (the second book of the book :P ) to read about frodo and sam. which sucks because they kind of got screwed over at the end of the Two Towers. so i'm lying in wait and don't know what's become of the poor hobbits, sent to Mordor... I have to read all about the war in Gondor and the siege at Minas Tirith. It's less exciting, except the part about Eowyn, the power chick who defied her father's orders and went to war with the men, that was cool. Anyway, it's good shit, yo. my new drug.

tonight: lebanese fest! jamie's mom and mrs. bu-abbud are cooking a lebanese feast for the fitzgeralds and the bu-abbuds and the halboutys and other people... they decided that i'm cool enough to be honorary lebanese, i suppose... it'll be fun. i love lebanese food! (:

I must read Rumi. I have become fascinated by Sufism.

okay, you impatient morons, it's finally up... the updated soundtrack page. eat your hearts out.

i'm going to go read tolkein now.

stupid blogger, being all down and shit yesterday... stupid hackers. :P

went to see lord of the rings again.. it was good, maybe even better, the second time around. went with colin, it was nice to see him again... even if he talked about war tactics most of the time. i smiled and nodded. he hasn't read the LotR trilogy but he appreciates epic literature and consequently highly enjoyed the movie. the girl i sat next to, however, doesn't... and is a moron. she talked through the entire damn thing. like after the beginning sequence about the ring was over she was like, that was a good movie, let's go now. and kept making wise-ass cracks through the entire film. it got a little annoying. and then at the end, she screamed "WHAT??" as if she were expecting them to get to Mt. Doom and destroy the ring in *this* book (there was a book?). um, what would the other two be about then, huh? yeah, that's what i thought. hmm. well, anyway, i think it's time i read the two towers and maybe even the return of the king. i have to wait for will to get up because they're in his room... stupid me, getting up all early and shit.

so yesterday i tried to do this thing called "exercise" but it was a complete failure. i remembered why i hate running outdoors - i can't do it. when it's cold, i get this stupid thing called "exercise-induced asthma" which sucks ass and makes me hurt all over. so i ran a little over a half-mile and came back in utter pain. wasn't sure i'd recover. fortunately i did. i need to find some other method of exercise until i get to school. like step aerobics or something. lol. i could watch an aerobics video and "work it." that'd be funny. hehe.

i had a dream last night but unfortunately i can't remember what it was about. dammit, i should remember these things more often. :P

today was christmas, evidently.

well, it began with opening presents and saying, "wow, cool" and trying things on and eating cinnamon rolls... and continued with lots of movie-watching, and stuff, but something was missing today.

it could be the fact that my parents didnt make the kids line up at the top of the stairs and come down together on video tape and act surprised concurrently like we have always done in the past.

it could be the fact that the sweet-ass mp3 player i got doesn't want to work with winXP. dad and i spent 2 hours trying to download winXP compatible drivers and ran around in circles. it kept downloading something that was created in 1997, according to the timestamp, by microsoft... that's not quite right. so we're going to try again tomorrow, and if that doesn't work, then we'll find someone to bitch at, because i can't return it. it was packaged in one of those eeeeevil plastic bubble packs, the kind that everyone hates and that hate everyone, and i destroyed it when i got it open, so there's no hope of... "original packaging materials." so, if i have to write the fucking drivers myself, i'm gonna get that mp3 player to work. that didn't keep me from spending a couple minutes in tears this morning though. :( stupid fucking windows.

it could be that... or it could be that by the time santa claus got to the store the other day, they were out of hershey kisses. evidently out of reese's too. so we got stockings full of werthers (not bad) and those little strawberry things (bad). NO CHOCOLATE. it was a chocolate- free christmas for me... which probably accounts for the weirdness.

when you're a kid, there's something in the air on christmas. it seems to me that it's been fading the past few years... the feeling in the weeks building up to the day diminishes year by year... by the time i'm grown up, will it be just another day? is it my age, or is it my diminishing (as if there was any left) faith that made today seem like any other day? but it is just the christians and their gods, the father and son, in whom i have lost faith... i still have faith in people, and anyway, isn't that what today has come to mean to so many of us?

oh, and i'm afraid i may have developed some sort of alcohol allergy. the thing that happened to me last week with the kahlua happened again at dinner with the wine. or maybe it's just that i'm still sick and shouldn't be drinking... but what if...?

god, this had to have been the worst christmas i have experienced. i wish i were back home, in california.

[holiday cheer]

hmmm, where can i find some holiday cheer to spread to my friends? a quick check of my source of everything, google turns up some interesting results... some recipies (sends kat on an "ooh, i meant to look up the recipe for wasabi mashed potatoes for mom, this is an interesting recipe, oops, it calls for wasabi powder, not paste... oh well, it's too late for this christmas, maybe new years" tangent), goofy tapes, an essay on "Holiday Cheer at the Pentagon" (not written this year, interestingly enough)... too much holiday cheer for me. But aren't the little polar bears on the Google logo just tooo fucking cute?? hmmm. well, no cheer there. Where could i find cheer?

"you'd better find some holiday cheer somplace. 'cause it's your fucking patriotic duty. 'n shit."


okay, i give up, just have a happy christmas. (:

(even you, joel.)

it's.... christmas eve!

i wish you all a merry "peace, goodwill, humanity and presents" day, or whatever tomorrow may mean to you (if it means anything.)

happy christmas to all, and to all a good night.

okay, i'm stopping for the night. feel free to leave me suggestions about my blog's new appearance... it's kinda rough, but i think i like the direction this is headed. might want to weave the color 333333 (kind of olive drab the bg of the blog part used to be) back in somewhere...? not sure. also maybe center the "too much information" part? put something else in that cell? hmm. something to consider. anyway, i'm done working on it for tonight. (:

ahh, just saw Lord of the Rings. That was a good movie. And by "good movie" i mean "fucking damn awesome movie." Can you say something is "fucking damn awesome"? or should it be "damn fucking awesome"? dammit. Anyway, you know what i mean. It really whips the llama's ass. I'm gonna have to see it again. only problem was that it was pretty damn long... like 3 hours... oh well. I have the patience (and bladder) of a superhuman.

dude, why is it that the ice cream man comes down our street when it's freaking Christmas Eve Eve??? I just heard the tinkle of bells, and it wasn't sleighbells, it was ice cream man bells.

mmm, elijah wood, mmm.

she thinks she missed the train to mars,
she's out back counting stars.

she thinks she missed the train to mars,
she's out back counting stars.

she's not at work she's not at school
she's not in bed i think i finally broke her
i bring her on everything i want
and nothing that she needs
i thought she'd be there holding daisies
she always waits for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

i found her out back sitting naked
looking up and looking dead
a crumpled yellow piece of paper
with seven 9's and 10's
i thought she'd be there holding daisies
she always waits for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

i thought you'd be there holding daisy
you always wait for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

*sobbb*

i have a sinus infection. I woke up this morning and thought, "hello, sinus infection." It hurts to bend over. My top teeth hurt when i do some things. I have a headache.
oh boy. i just looooove sinus infections...

on the plus side, the cough is better, and the throat is too (but it still hurts to swallow... just not to the point where i want to scream every time. just to the point that it's annoying.)

talked to nathan on the phone briefly last night... he called my cell at 11:30 and asked if i was still dead.. and when i said "yeah, i am" he said "damn, yeah, you sound like you're still dead." :P

*sigh* oh well. i wonder what i'm going to do today...

for the record:
hot chocolate and kahlua is NOT, i repeat NOT NOT NOT to be used as a sore-throat-soother. NOT.
Made my sore throat about 10X worse... i'm back to where i was last night. WAAAAAAH.

(for the record, mom made it for me.)

Feeling a bit better today... still coughing, though. When i swallow it's more as if there were a hundred razorblades in the back of my throat, rather than a thousand, as was the case yesterday.

Read Pygmalion, for the hell of it, 'cause i figure i should in order to be an "educated human being." Wouldn't have read it if someone had told me at the beginning, "This play is exactly like the movie My Fair Lady... exactly." I thought the musical was just based on the play, not copied from it.... ah well. That shit happens, and life goes on.

I finished William Gibson's Idoru today. Not quite sure how i feel about it... it's kind of interesting. Definitely cyberpunk, more accessible than the sequels to neuromancer, but nowhere near as good as neuromancer itself. It occured to me as I finished that that's what I've been doing since I got home - reading. Since I've been sick and can't go out, I've read a few books in the week i've been home... all four Harry Potter books again, Michael Crichton's Timeline, Idoru, and Pygmalion... Timeline was particulary good, quite original... he comes up with new concepts, instead of rehashing his same "groundbreaking" ideas like gibson seems to have done later in his career...

Got my IHum grade... the bitch gave me an 84 on my final project, and a B overall. Hmmph. I thought I did way better than that, especially on the project. :P Grr, i'm angry. Oh well.

here
i am
and i dont' have much to say
it seems so strange
to stare at you
and to feel this way
feel this way

here
i am
and i don't really care this time
the phone can ring
off the hook
i don't mind
i don't mind

love is lonely (i don't mind)
love is cruel (i don't mind)
love is only
for a fool, for a fool

here
i am
and i'm not really sure right now
shut the shade,
the light's too bright
and i don't feel so well
i don't feel so well

love is lonely (feel so well)
love is cruel (feel so well)
love is only
for a fool, for a fool

so here
i am
and i don't really care this time
the record skips
stammers the beat
and repeats the line

love is lonely (repeats the line)
love is cruel (repeats the line)
love is only
for a fool,
for a fool

so here i am

::"here i am":: josh joplin group ::

ok... opinions needed: whatcha think? blog me back people.... (:

Ahh, just read back through all my friends' blogs... it's interesting how style varies. Some of you tell it like it is, a daily narrative, from a few quips about your doings to pages upon pages of everything you did that day. Some of you are more poetic in your posts... with a writing style I wish I could use, flowing sentences and really cool vocabulary. Other blogs seem to be more random... a few words that hint at what went on in your day that I wonder if I could piece together had I not been there and experienced it with you.

I wonder why I did not discover the guitar as a musical instrument earlier. Perhaps it's just because I never had one... but I've been playing my sister's guitar for approximately a week now, and i'm already pretty good, if i may say so. I mean, obviously not GOOD, the kind of good that would take years to cultivate, and i obviously still suck, but for having played for just a week I'd say i'm good. It's fun.

songs i have learned:
::Everlong (foo fighters) (that was with in a day!)
::Wonderwall (oasis)
::Crash into Me (dave matthews)(sorta... it's a bitch on the pinky)
::Hang (matchbox twenty) (but i have to look at the cheat sheet for that one, it's kinda complicated)
::the power chords to Closing Time (semisonic)... it's good fun. weeee!

Why is it that I feel like I have nothing intelligent to say when I open the blogger window?

Yep, i'm still fuckin' sick. Still. God dammit, why can't I get better? :P

On the up-side, i am feeling a bit better... though my throat still hurts like fuck if i don't take advil, and my nose is stuffy. I'll stop my bitchin'.

Mmmm... boring christmas break at home... can't hang with friends 'cause i'm sick... keep coughing... ears nose throat hurt... hehe. i just said that i'd stop my bitchin'.

hey mike, i love the way you found my site for searching on google for "kat reinhart is a sexy sexy bitch". That makes me happy. (:

*sigh*

::insert rant here about mother's bitchiness::

*sigh*

blegh. i had sonic for dinner. tasted good going down, but now i feel fat and icky.
ew.
oh well.

...

So yeah, back home and everything. Haven't seen any friends, except for andrew who stopped by on friday on his way from tech in lubbock to his parent's
new house in houston. haven't quite decided how i feel about being home either. kinda nice to have a mom around, except when she's yelling at me for this or that. not that i missed having to do the dishes and stuff... the food's better here, but i haven't really been able to enjoy it because of this cold, which my roommate heather was kind enough to pass along onto me before break. I think I'm getting better though because i can swallow again. throat isn't sore anymore, really... just kinda lumpy. a bit scratchy too. got a cough, but i think i'm over the contagiousness thing. eh.

got grades for japanese (a-, though i dont' know quite why...) and calc (a) and am happy about both... yay. parents were pleased with the calc grade, had been expecting a b. (: weee!

yeah.

blog blog blog. blog. blog blog blog blog. blog blog.

i like blogs. blogs make me happy.

i do not like colds. colds make me sad. fortunately mine is going away. yay going away colds.

cheese is yummy.

meet me in outer space
we could spend the night
watch the earth come up
i've grown tired of that place
won't you come with me
we could start again

how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
it's better than i ever knew

meet me in outer space
i will hold you close
if you're afraid of heights
i need you to see this place
it might be the only way
that i can show you how
it feels to be inside you

how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
it's better than i ever knew
how do you do when
you make me feel like i do

you are stellar
you are stellar

how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
it's better than i ever knew
how do you do when
you make me feel like i do
how do you do when
you make me feel like i do

incubus, "stellar"

i'm bitter to be leaving the state that i have claimed as my own. i'm bitter because i'm leaving stanford, and branner, and california, and mike, and all my friends, and my room... i'm also bitter because i got strip-searched in the airport. I'm not particularly looking forward to spending three weeks at home... finals might even be better. I'd write an IHum paper a week if I could not go home... but it will be nice to see my sister, and my brother, and my friends... but i'm not looking forward to the idea of being in texas. I'm not a big fan. Texas doesn't so much do it for me anymore. I've fallen in love with California and all that it represents... liberty, freedom, equality, free thought... i've fallen in love with mike rather than karl, and california rather than texas.
and i got strip-searched in the airport. i'm doubleplus bitter about that.

a long december and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember the last thing that she said
as you were leaving, and the days go by so fast

and it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in hollywood
if you think that i could be forgiven
i wish you would

the smell of hospitals and winter and
the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters but no pearls
and all at once you look across a crowded room
to see the way that light attaches to a girl

and it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in hollywood
if you think you might come to california
i think you should

drove up to hillside, met her sometime after 2am,
and talked a little while about the year
i guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
makes you talk a little lower
bout the things you could not show her

and it's been a long december and tehre's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember all the times i tried to tell myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass

and it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in hollywood
its been so long since i've seen the ocean
i guess i should

...

So I'm in the middle of packing to go home for 3 weeks... 3 weeks with my family. Yikes, dude. Yikes. I dunno how i'm going to be able to stay sane during that... hmm. I'm going to miss all my friends here... heather, becky, nicole, katie... mike... yeah. especially mike. he's great. (: it's only 3 weeks though, i can do it... we can do it... won't be a problem. plus, i'll get to see all my at-home friends... barbara, nathan, lizzie, big jon, jenny, natalie, brandon and nathan, everyone... it'll be cool. hopefully. nathan wants to get trashed with me... that might be fun, if we can figure out how to pull it off. and i'll get to see my sister.. i miss carrie... she's awesome. and the rest of my family too... it'll be cool. i suppose going home won't be bad, just different. i'm gonna miss everyone here, and this place, something wicked though. it'll be nice to take a vacation, but it'll be super-nice to come back here afterwards, have it be a new quarter, with new classes, and new people to see, and old people to see, and not have to worry about work for awhile. i need the vacation, but i need the return after the vacation even more. but to have one you must have the other, so it's not bad. i'll survive. plus, it'll be christmas. i like christmas.

imagine there's no heaven
it's easy if you try
no hell below us
above us only sky
imagine all the people
living for today
imagine there's no countries,
it isn't hard to do
nothing to kill or die for
and no religion, too
imagine all the people
living life in peace
you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one
i hope someday you will join us
and the world will live as one
you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one
i hope someday you will join us
and the world will be as one
-john lennon

Considering making a "procrastination tools" list... there are so many of them. My personal favorite today is this: YATTA! but there are so many more... how long can you look at this without laughing? or, from RA Molly, the Asian Prince - are you his princess?

weeeee!

i'm weird.

And then sometimes, when i'm done eating my oatmeal, I wonder what my webpage would be without a guestbook, without comment forms, and without a stats tracker. It'd be purely for me. How beautiful.

Sometimes, when I'm making oatmeal, I get this feeling, kind of squishy, like maybe I've added too much water. Then I stop calling it "oatmeal" and start calling it "oatmeal soup." It's still just as heartwarming, but with more volume and less fat.

"Good taste" is my motto when I make my oatmeal; this is to broaden relations among human.

christmas music...

puts me in a certain mood. it's cool. now i'm thinking about last christmas. I remember it was the friday night before finals started that i called into stanford to find out if i got in. so it was about a year ago that i ran around the house like a madwoman screaming "I GOT IN! I GOT IN!" i went to starbucks with jamie to celebrate, with lizzie, because she'd just gotten into duke too. wow, those were the days.

I think the index finger on my right hand may fall off. it hurts like fuck. stupid laser tag.

HOLY FUCK. I had written a whole fucking blog here and I just control-z'ed it away... why doesn't it have a fucking redo button???!!! WAAAAH! I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself!!!! Bangs fucking head on desk.

The point of hte blog i had written was that i am totally fucke up on caffeine right now. i'm on a majjr caffeine high. i'm making a ashitload of typos but i' dont care, i'm going to leave them in for effect. See, i'm not using the backspace button. So i got this idea to play a game of typer A but I got a 263 on it, not due to lack of speed but doe to lack ofa ccuracy. i can't type accurately right nwob ecause i'm so caffeinated. i'm also trying to come up with an idea for mysecond vagina monologue. my first one is incredible butmy secondo ne just doesn't wanna happen. I haven't got a topic. hmm.
dude, my hand is totally shaking. cool. i'm giving myself carpal tunnel syndrome as well, because i'm so wasted and because
we went laser questing.
it was cool. i shot people. but now my forearm hurts because ofthe fucking trigger (my gun was messed up and shit) it was hard. and now my forearm on my right arm hurts. and i'm not making it any better by frnatically typing... but whatever. i need to come up with a second idea for a vagina monologue; fuck.

fire trucks at wilbur? what the fuck?
alcohol poisoning? that'd suck.
so i'm holding my hand up and watching it shake. that's kinda fun, actually. damn.

i cna't think of anything else to blog about, so i'm gonna stop wasting my wrists. laters.

from jamie:
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

i love it that the only conditions under which i receive communication from karl are when he's trying to prove me wrong. he's sent me news articles about how stanford sucks, and today i got this one. http://www.cnn.com/2001/TECH/science/12/06/physics.reut/index.html interesting.

i think it's terrible that i'm happier when my roommate (jenny, not heather) is not around.

wasted today.
Spent the afternoon surfing the web. heather pointed me to a site that is "pro-ana" (meaning it supports anorexia as a lifestyle rather than as a disease) and so now i am highly disturbed. there are some fucked-up people out there... evidently there's a shitload of controversy surrounding these websites, because they promote self-destruction and starvation. lots of people trying to censor shit and stuff. i say what the fuck, dude, everyone's entitled to their opinions. and hell, if they want to look like they're from somalia, whatever.
fucked up shit, dude.

tonight i want to get some work done. it's only 7, which is good, but i seem to have no work ethic, after yesterday's ihum discussion where kristy totally blasted my project and ripped it apart. she's got a good point though, which is "how the fuck (okay, so she didn't say "the fuck) does this relate to foucault?" uh... it's about sex and power? I wonder if it's too late to change my project. *bangs head on desk* may i please fail ihum? please? fuckers.

might go to the library later. get some shit done.

so lately i've been wondering who will be there to take my place
when i'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face
every great wave shall fall and it'll fall upon us all
beetween the sand and stone, could you make it on your own?

if i could then i would go wherever you will go
way up high or down low i'll go wherever you will go

and maybe i'll find out a way to make it back someday
to watch you to guide you through the darkest of your days
every great wave shall fall and it'll fall upon us all
and i hope there's someone out there who can
bring me back to you

if i could then i would i'd go wherever you will go
way up high or down low i'd go wherever you will go

run away with my heart
run away with my hope
run away with my love

i know now it's quiet now my life and love might still go on
in your heart in your mind i'll stay with you for all of time

if i could then i would i'd go wherever you will go
way up high or down low i'd go wherever you will go

if i could turn back time
i'll go wherever you will go
if i could make you mine
i'll go wherever you will go
i'll go wherever you will go

:wherever you will go: by :the calling:

personality test results:
It's official. I'm a schizotypal, narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive. Cool. I rule.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

New policy: SIGN THE FUCKING GUESTBOOK. especially if i don't know you.
k. thanks.

oh my fucking god, does this ahimsa girl not have anything better to do than hang around in our fucking room? she annoys me. she's sitting on the floor behind me eating a sucker *very* noisily and reading some fucking orientation material. she'll chill here after jenny leaves, too. RRRRGH.

"hello, you've reached jenny's roommate. Jenny's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name and number I'll have her call you back when she gets in. If you're trying to reach Heather, say so and I'll give the phone to her. If you're trying to reach me, get your ass over here and give me cpr because it'll give me a heart attack to actually receive a phone call."

daily ranting time

yes, it's time for that daily avoidance mechanism known as... blogging!
things to rant about: my roommate jenny. dining hall food. secret snowflake. annoying kids in my dorm. how much i hurt after working out on monday night.

jenny. her music. it pisses me off. she seems to be able to work with an amazing amount of noise in the room. i have no idea how she does it. also, she and her friends like to come in here and make noise while i'm trying to work, to no avail. a few nights ago we had the whole fuckin' basketball team again (sans chris, of course, because chris is frightened by jenny) (okay, so it wasn't the whole basketball team, it was just josh and rob, but still.) as well as ogonna and this one girl that jenny is friends with named ahimsa. it's a cool name, means nonviolence toward all... it kinda annoys me though, because she's annoying. i just want to ask her, do you know what your fucking name means? no? you should. and if she does, then why the fuck are you not a vegan?? grr. so anyway, everyone likes to come in here and turn up the rap music really loud and dance... never mind the fact that i'm sitting at my desk slaving over a problem set. problem sets are a foreign concept to this group. homework? what's that? let's go make noise, because surely if we're not doing homework then no one else is...
so tonight, ahimsa shows up and i'm just like, oh god, here goes. the two of them just make some noise for a few minutes and then jenny announces that she's going to some group called "cardinal life" which is evidently some sort of get-together for christians... and so she and ahisma leave, music still full fucking blast. that mystifies me. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT TURN IT OFF WHEN YOU LEAVE THE FUCKING ROOM?? DO YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT AS YOU WALK DOWN THE HALL?? (sorry for yelling. this bothers me though.) *sob*

after that rant, i don't feel like ranting about anything else.

i am the eggman, they are the eggman, i am the walrus, coo coo ca choo

i am the eggman, they are the eggman, i am the walrus, coo coo ca choo

mom: who will do my son's laundry?
RA: there are facilities in each dorm
mom: but no service?
no ma'am, he'll have to do his own laundry
oh my. he'll have to get a girlfriend

mmm. just got an email from kennell with the subject line, "can we mimic explicit sex?" hmmm.... No, Kennell, i'm inclined to say we cannot.

ahh, so i'm almost out of avoidance mechanisms, and therefore it's time for me to begin publishing things online. i'll start out by blogging, then i'll decide to change the sidebar on my webpage, and while i'm at that, i might as well change the format of my webpage, and then the content will go, and then it'll be 2AM and i won't have gotten shit done on anything but my webpage. it's a vicious cycle. Especially when i have an ihum final project due next week, a final on monday, a problem set due on thursday, an interview in japanese on wednesday. yeah. it's hell week, obviously. mmm...
...mmm, primal scream... primal scream is fun. at midnight every night during dead week you open your window and scream out of it, as loud as you can. it's a beautiful thing, to hear the scream resounding across campus. it's great.
so it's also secret snowflake this week. i find secret snowflake amusing. too bad i missed the signups or whatever. actually, i'm starting to think that it wasn't too bad that i missed the signups, because doing stupid shit just isn't my bag, baby. ah well. Laughing at people doing stupid shit, however, is my bag... so it's all good.

and now, in honor of "dead week that isn't really dead," i give you: "Who needs sleep?" by the Barenaked Ladies.

now i lay me down not to sleep
i just get tangled in the sheets
i spin and sweat three inches deep
just lay back and claim defeat

chapter read and lesson learned
i turn the lights off while she burned
so while shes three hundred degrees
i throw the sheets off and i freeze

my lids down, i count sheep,
i count heartbeats
the only thing that counts is that
i won't sleep, i count down,
i look around

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

my hands are locked up tight in fists
my mind is racing filled with lists
of things to do and things i've done
another sleepless night's begun

my lids down, i count sheep,
i count heartbeats
the only thing that counts is that
i won't sleep, i count down,
i look around

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

so much joy in life so many pleasures all around
but the pleasure of insomnia is one i've never found
with all life has to offer there's so much to be enjoyed
but the pleasures of insomnia are ones i can't afford

my lids down, i count sheep,
i count heartbeats
the only thing that counts is that
i won't sleep, i count down,
i look around

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
there's a guy's been awake since the second world war

today's random thought: the dorms in wilbur are in alphabetical order, starting from the lower left (if you're in branner). think about it... arroyo, then cedro, then junipero, and okada, on the other side there is otero, rinconada, soto, and trancos. how cool is that? okay, so not that cool but whatever. random observation. weee.