3.14.2002


i had an interesting experience when i dropped by the post office on my way back from the gym. for some reason something prompted me to go back around the front of the post office rather than going around back like i usually do, and while i was scootering along, i saw a guy checking his mail who, from the back, looked identical to karl. hair, flannel, pants, build, height... everything. it kind of frightened me. forced me to think about him, definitely. which i honestly haven't done much of in the recent past other than "oh yeah, there was that kid, and that year, eh, it's behind me, we make mistakes, yeah." maybe just seeing his image there was kind of a realization that maybe it wasn't time wasted. maybe i loved him. and maybe there was a reason for it. i mean, he was a nice kid, though a little devoid of personality, and the time we had together was definitely enjoyable... but i also had the realization that i will probably never see him again. he goes to his school, i go to mine. perhaps he still has the ambition of cooping at and working for nasa. in houston. he'll probably end up either somewhere in the midwest or in texas. i'm going to be a product design major. i'm going to stay in silicon valley, because i love it here. maybe i'll work for apple or someone. who knows. it is extremely unlikely that our paths should cross again. and that almost seems like a shame. *shrug*

on a related note, we discussed in ihum section the other day about how achieving goals is like living in the past. you set a goal for yourself in light of your present values and ideas and desires, and if you achieve that goal, you're still living in the ideas and values and desires that you had say, five years ago, and you haven't really progressed at all. that's my random depressing thought, thanks to ihum, for the day.

weeeeird. i can't handle that.

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