solitude

i just realized that i haven't seen another person all day, at all. and i haven't uttered any words that weren't directed at my cat. reminds me of an everything but the girl song... "if no one calls and i don't speak all day, do i disappear?"

some days i thrive on solitude. i cleaned a good part of my apartment today, tidied up the kitchen and the dining area and the bathroom, just in case someone were to drop by. i got a good head start on the reading for this week (classes start monday) and watched a lot of buffy. i also blew my nose a lot - to the point where i ran out of kleenex - stupid sinus infection. i think my cough is getting better, though.

one more quarter. 77 more days. then i'll finally be done with my damn undergrad degree, only 2 years late.

what is wrong here
what is wrong here
where is your head?

do you ever get movies from netflix and then procrastinate on watching them? i do sometimes, especially if it's a movie that i've heard is really good, but depressing. i did it with hotel rwanda - i think i had that movie for a month before i watched it. i've had boys don't cry sitting on my coffee table for at least two weeks, but i just got around to watching it tonight. i'm glad i did, but damn! what a downer. though it's true, hilary swank really did deserve the oscar for that performance. she's so believable. anyway, if you haven't seen the movie, rent it, it's good. rent it and think about it, about what our society does to people who don't fit the gender binary. then think about all the ways in which you yourself don't fit the binary - things you do, or things about you, that are stereotypical for the opposite gender. no one fits perfectly into any binary - or at least, no one remotely interesting. and, well, i guess it's an understatement to say that brandon got hirself mixed up with the wrong crowd... especially if the movie portrayals of her "friends" are accurate... but still. no one deserves to die for being who they are. gender is nothing but a label society gives us. who are they to tell each of us who we are?

repeat after me: gender is a social construct. nothing more.

it's late; i should get to bed.