it just dawned on me a few minutes ago that i'm not normal ordinary person in love. i'm ridiculous crazy stupid idiotic retarded not even funny lose control of vital bodily functions in love. that kind of realization isn't the kind that leaves you floating feeling like you're on top of the world. that kind of love happens to people all over the world every day. this is the kind of realization that makes every single part of your body so heavy you feel like you never want to get out of your chair, because you can't. there's only one thing in the world that matters, but it matters so much that it permeates every cell of your being. it makes you realize that everything you ever thought was love before was just wishful thinking, which is kind of disappointing to realize, because you think you've been in love before, you've thought it was real. but it wasn't, because it never felt as real as this, as important and significant as this. hell, world war two wasn't as important or significant as this. and i really mean that.

i think i'm about to cry.