10.31.2007

seasonal obscenities

my morning commute is fun, but it can be harrowing at times. today was no exception - i had no fewer than 4 close calls on my way in. one or two of them were my fault - i was not paying attention and was irritated at lights for being red - but the others were caused by drivers being inconsiderate. like when the bus decides to pass me just as the road narrows and cars are parked in my travel path, forcing me to move left. or the jackass whose boat was hanging out into the intersection long after the light had changed.

being that it's halloween, the phrase which popped into my head to yell (i usually don't actually yell, i just mutter, or think rude things at drivers) was not the usual "eat a dick!", but the more seasonal "eat a VAMPIRE dick!"

i don't know where i come up with these things. i think that riding with other aggressive riders makes me more inclined to ride like a bat out of hell, which will probably come up and bite me in the ass someday. until that day, though, i just keep in mind: rubber side down!

5 comments:

waking jonas said...

ok, so i know i'm queen commentor lately but your post made me realize that i have an important question, so i had to share this.

i know these facts about vampires:

1. vampires are dead
2. vampires have no breath
3. vampires have no bloodflow

and i know this fact about dicks:

1. an erection is caused by increased bloodflow to the penis

so here's my question...how can angel have had sex with buffy? it wouldn't be possible given his vampirey characteristics.

unless!

angel died with an erection!

:D happy halloween!

Kat said...

That is a really good question! I'd never really thought about the problem of vampire erections. I'm not positive that they don't have any bloodflow, though.

It's true that they don't have a heartbeat, and they don't need to breathe (though they do breathe in order to talk!), I do believe they have blood in their vasculature, since they have to drink blood to stay alive. That blood has to go somewhere... I always assumed that it did go into their veins and arteries, it just didn't necessarily get pumped around by a heartbeat.

Vampires (not just Angel) do have sex... so there has to be some sort of increased blood (or other fluid) flow to the penis in order for this to work.

waking jonas said...

it could be that the blood from their victims gives them a little...you know...umph.

i do know that harmony did ask spike why she was covered in blue veins if she didn't have any blood.

though she said "blood" and not "bloodflow."

hmm.

Kat said...

yeah, so harmony can't be trusted as an authority on the subject, since she's a brand-new vampire, and she's kinda an airhead.

waking jonas said...

fair point