apologies for the last post. if anyone actually reads this anymore.

anyway, in case you weren't in the loop, it's been a rough fucking week. i swear, it's the weather. we haven't seen the sun in like 3 and a half months. we're probably vitamin D deficient or something, but we are all going nuts up yonder in seattle. i think i've been depressed for awhile now, and i know jared has. and we've finally decided on some things that are going to make things better.

first of all... i've realized that i need to be out on my own. i have never lived by myself; i've always relied on someone else to share in the duties of keeping a living space. i think it's high time i try that out, even if it's only a box with a kitchen at one end.

second, i've realized how important to me school is. it's a goal i feel i lost sight of a long time ago... probably somewhere about halfway through my senior year of high school, looking back... but i really am loving what i'm doing now (in a way that i haven't felt since i was back in mccormick's AP chem and bio classes), and i'm pretty damn sure that it's what i want to do. i also have decided that while i'm where i'm at, i'll be able to do what i want to do living alone better than i would living with jared.

and then, as weird as it sounds, i think that the way that jared and i have felt about each other has been slowly changing, even though we might not have been completely aware of it as it was happening. and it's probably not something i need to go into detail about, because these things will sort themselves out in the end. but let it be said that i'm moving out, and moving on, but i know i have friends no matter what, and that's what matters.

plus, i want to marry john dorian.