my head is full of tons of thoughts that just can't seem to come unclogged. i guess it's to be expected. it also dawned on me that if you look back on the archives of this blog, the times you'll see the most entries, and certainly the most real content, are while i'm not currently in a relationship. i think that i start self-censoring at some point. but anyway, i don't need to censor myself now.

or maybe i do. there's still so much that i haven't sorted out for myself, so much that i don't want to talk or think about for awhile. i've wrapped my brain around some very difficult concepts the past few days, concepts that i've been denying for awhile. being in a relationship does change you in some ways, makes you less fundamentally "you". for so long i've been jared's other half, part one of two, what have you, that i feel i really need time to discover the rest of me. like what i do when i live alone. i mean really alone, not in my own room in a dorm.

i think it could be interesting.

i also really, really want one of these.