Well, geez. It's the last day of 2004. So it's been almost a year since I moved here now - but it feels like I've lived here all along. I love it and wouldn't go back for the world.

Anyway, being New Year's Eve, I had the day off. Jared didn't. This means it was a KAT DAY. I love this kind of day. the kind where I wake up at 10 and crawl out of bed at 10:30, then make myself look hot and catch a bus downtown to spend waaaaay too much money on new clothes at Nordstrom. I shopped in that department where the sales people call you by your first name, and the dressing rooms are like small lounges rather than bathroom stalls. And I bought a new pair of jeans and a really awesome shirt. I'm not talking about how much I spent though. ;)

So after I left Nordstrom I was walking past Westlake Center when I remembered, "Hey, the monorail is open again!" So I went up to the top floor of the mall... just to see how much it cost to ride to Seattle Center - and when it was only a buck fifty i jumped on that silly little relic from the 1962 World's Fair and rode north in nostalgia. And then I saw the Space Needle.

Some background here: I haven't been up the space needle in more than a decade, so it was time. But, my boyfriend is afraid of heights, so it's one of those things he doesn't really want to do together. So I decided, to hell with the fact that it's 13 bucks, i'm going to see the view from 520 feet up. So I did. You really can see so much from up there - the view over the sound is absolutely amazing. And there's a fucking Starbucks at top. (Duh.)

Anyway, that was pretty cool. I felt like a tourist, but oh well. It was me day, so I did what I wanted. :D

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

I just touched a man's stereo equipment. And unplugged stuff and plugged new stuff in.

AND IT WORKS.

I am breaking new ground for women here.

yargh, another week down. another week closer to the end of the year, and the end of the world. Not that I'm saying these two events will be concurrent or anything, I'm just saying is all.

Finally got around to closing that credit union account I've been meaning to drain for the last, oh, five years or so, so I should have a check for almost $500 coming my way soon. Big money. Oh well, it'll go to some of my debts and other such crap. Fucking money. Also, that raise that my boss has been promising me since August will finally be in effect as of the 20th. Thanks. That really helps for all these 5 months I've been paying rent on a place that's just too damn expensive when you're making less than $10 an hour in take-home pay. So, assuming all goes well, and Mike's friend decides to move into my room, I'm all set to move in with Jared in January. this will mean a drop from $468 to $337 in rent - count all $131 of those new dollars I'll have now - coupled with my buck-oh-eight raise, should mean things will be slightly easier than they have been. Not to mention all the hours and gallons of petroleum saved in commuting to and from Tacoma to spend time with my boyfriend. And that fucking apartment down there, with its fucking mold that fucking gave me asthma, will finally be out of my life by the end of the year, once Brian leaves. And the new place doesn't have carpet, which I'm glad about because carpet is bad for asthma and it's easier to keep dander and dust down with hardwood, but it is so fucking noisy when his cats decide to race down the length of the apartment at breakneck speed at all fucking hours of the night. obnoxious kitties.

Hardly got anything done at work this afternoon, I had friday-brain so bad. this is a common but untreatable condition in which your brain is already off for the weekend, but your body isn't. I cope with repetetive tasks and music, but it often degrades into shameless free-cell playing and much spacing-out. Blah. I have such a mind-numbing job. But hey, big-bossman dropped in unexpectedly this week (he is based in southern california, so my desk isn't on his daily tour). I accidentally let leak a few key remarks on my salary and he, not previously knowing my monetary situation, was much dismayed. Perhaps this will result in the pulling of a few strings and the raising of my pay, once more. I would be stoked about that.

Tonight: dinner, maybe Tacoma, nothing exciting. Jared has a box waiting for him at his old place from Kenneth Cole - and he didn't order anything. I am just dying to know what's inside. That boy has ALL THE FUCKING LUCK with entering contests and forgetting about them. I should keep him around - maybe we'll get a few vacations or a car or something. He idly wondered at one point whether it was about Kenneth Cole's model contest they had a few months back - but he never submitted a picture or anything for that, and no one picks a model without seeng a fucking picture, so I'm sure that's not it. If that boy got a major ad campaign for a totally respectable label I would be very jealous for awhile, and then I'd deal with it.

Wow, I'm rambling.

yeah, so thanksgiving weekend was about a wash. thursday was pretty cool. dinner was at jared's uncle's place... which is a converted elementary school, now inhabited by somewhere around 15 artists. plus there's studios that aren't live-in. it's a really cool atmosphere. but thanksgiving was a communal dinner, where everyone brought a few dishes and somehow there managed to be enough food to feed around 40 mouths. it was fun. i like hanging out with lance and traycee.

but then friday night kind of sucked. after i went to bed, my breathing just got worse and worse, and i kept sucking down my albuterol but nothing changed. so, being the panicky panic-stricken panic monster that is a person who can't breathe, i made jared drive me to the emergency room. where, upon checking in, i waited around an hour and a half (all the while my breathing getting better) to get called back, 45 minutes (much better now) to see a doctor, 15 minutes getting an EKG, 45 minutes waiting for the doctor to come back and give me a breathing treatment, you get the picture. i was almost fine by the time i got the fucking breathing treatment, it was kind of like, why the fuck am i here? but i was there, and what else could i have done when my albuterol wasn't working? man, i really hope my insurance company doesn't dick me over on that and charge me a $50 copay plus god knows how much for an ekg plus the cost of a chest x-ray plus the breathing treatment plus the "free" peak flow inhaler that i forgot at the hospital. that would really suck.

not having money blows. but (but!) i ordered satin opera-length gloves, so when they get here I can do my photo shoot with Lance! and then i can go get an interview with these people! and then i can do photo shoots and make hella bank and not worry about money any more. that would (will!) be nice.

ahh, hypocrisy. bush urges the ukraine to not certify election results. evidently the election seems to have been plagued with problems like lack of transparancy, no paper trail, possibly tampered-with voting machines...

hmm. sounds a bit familiar.

when i'm rich and famous, i am going to own a piece from this collection.

yeah, so i got stalked on the bus today. or sort of stalked. or more like discomfort-causingly-stared-at.

welcome to seattle.

so because jared's car is working again we drove to work this morning, which meant i got in an hour earlier than normal, which meant that i was able to slip out at 10 til 4 (i skipped 10 minutes of work, bad me). that, in turn, meant that i got to see daylight after work for the first time in several days, and probably the last time for quite a while. this whole darkness thing is taking some adjustment, trust me. it's not that it's affecting my mood - i'm actually getting steadily better despite the decrease in sunlight - it's just an odd sensation to step out of the building at 4:45 and have the streetlights be on and the sky a deep purple color. i have to say, though, that the evenings right now are gorgeous. today it cleared up after raining this morning, so the world was still wet but the sky was vibrantly pink and orange and blue. it's different than the winters i'm used to, but i think i'll do just fine.

anyway, that's just one of many reasons i love living in seattle. here is a quick list of some others.

- the fact that every single kerry-edwards sign and bumper sticker is still proudly displayed. george w. bush isn't our president here.
- live music. dj music. music in alcohol establishments every fucking night of the week. goodbye, boredom.
- public transit. sure, the people on it smell funny sometimes, but the bus has never failed to get me where i want to go.
- water. i love seeing the sound every day when i'm walking around downtown. i love smelling ocean some mornings. i love shilshole beach.
- the people. they're great for watching. though i suppose the same could be said for anywhere, seattlites have their oddities. playing spot-the-transplant (the ones from LA are the ones holding umbrellas when it's barely raining) is a favorite pasttime of mine.
- my neighborhood. it's the perfect mix of safe and exciting, most of the bums stay west of here, and the neighborhood to the south is somewhere i'd imagine raising kids, yet i'm within walking distance of several restaurants, more than enough bars (one of them is even gay) and the grocery store.

anyway, this city sufficiently rocks. i want it to be my home for ever and ever unless i decide to move to canada. but really, i don't like hockey, and i pronounce it "ah-BOWT" not "a-boot".

that's a marine shooting a wounded iraqi point blank. eerily reminiscent of the viet cong assassination photo... everyone knows that photo. except this is a still from a video, shown on cnn and nbc. (they blacked out the picture when he shot the guy, but those who have seen the unedited version say that there's plenty of gore). full story

You know what's awesome? Warning lights on a dashboard that ACTUALLY PORTEND THE FUTURE. I have never encountered this before, ever, but it happened today. We were around Fife on our way back up to Seattle after spending my day off in Tacoma, and Jared's battery warning light comes on. He starts obsessing. What if my alternator dies? What if we break down? What if my car dies? I can't have that happen! Waaaah! and on and on. And I'm all, warning lights don't tell the truth, silly! Because mine don't. But then, 30 miles later, he's like, hey, my dashboard lights are getting dimmer. Fuck! And then, just as we crest the hill on the I-5 shipping channel bridge, like within sight of my exit, the car starts growling and making BAAAAD noises. And continues to do so all the way down the bridge, onto the exit and to the stoplite. And then we stop. And then the car stops. FUCK. And it won't turn back on. FUCK FUCK.

So we yell for a few minutes, attract the interest of a bum-lady (who proceeds to tell us what to do) and try to push it. No dice. All the while, people are pulling up behind us and wondering why we're not going. It's amazing how long someone will sit behind a car WITH ITS FUCKING BLINKERS ON and wait for it to go. And wait. And wait.

And then this car pulls up next to us and starts yelling. Hey! That's my roommate! Mike yells "I'll be back" at us and drives off. And then he pulls up in the grass by the bus stop on the other side, and comes over and we sit back and watch the distruction for awhile. Watching idiots be idiots is quite fun. One girl actually sat behind our car for almost a light cycle and a half before she realized that the car wasn't moving.

Then probably about 15 minutes after Mike shows up, the bum lady actually spouts somethhing useful - why don't you just jump it from his car? DUHHHH. So we pull Blue Steele up heading backwards on the off-ramp facing our car, and pull out the jumper cables. Then we stare at the jumper cables like morons because no one is ever REALLY sure how it goes. Red to the red terminal, black to the black, but don't you have to ground it? Fuck. No one knows. Then, the tow truck from AAA comes to save the day, puts the cables on the batteries (I SWEAR you had to connect it to the frame, not the battery, but I guess the tow truck guy would know) and we start the car. And make it almost all the way home only to have it die before Jared pulls it into a parking spot. So we pushed it. And it was craziness.

In other news, I think I might start a letter-writing campaign to Richard Branson to get him to start something like the X-Prize but for ridiculously efficient engines and alternative fuels instead of space travel. Because really, that dude has too much money and needs somewhere else to spend it

bad things i did this weekend.

- dropped $145 on clothing. in my defense, it was one leather jacket and one really great pair of heels, but still. i shouldn't have done that.
- that's all i can think of.

totally awesome things i did this weekend.

- dropped $145 on clothing. my new jacket is so fucking hot. and it's kenneth cole. and i only paid $120 for it. and it was somewhere in the $300 retail value range. rock. and the other 25 bucks went to a pair of strappy skinny little heels. because every girl needs a pair.

so i'm getting lots of practice wearing high heels now. i'm almost getting okay at it, too. so now when prada hires me for their 2005 campaign i won't fall on my face.

Which OS are You?

antiwar.com is the shit.

in other news, whatever my roommate put in the crock pot before he went to work smells really fucking good right now. if it's not there when you come home, mike, it's frida's fault. i promise.

a blogger in baghdad

"If watching these pretty girls weep into their Diet Cokes can make you despise the human beings responsible for setting up an idiotically small body type as the ideal, causing a whole nation of pretty girls to weep into their Diet Cokes just because they ate one too many curly fries for lunch, then Tyra is doing her job."

salon.com is funny. (Just watch the goddamn flash ad for the Free Day Pass. It's not that hard.)

because this is a great way to spend $887 million.

Our government is a bunch of fucktards. We don't need 887 million dollars spent on a fucking anthrax vaccine. Anthrax killed five people in 2001. FIVE. One, two, three, four, FIVE. That's five people. Five people do not warrant $887 million.

god fucking dammit.





what now??

So we've entered the final 24 hours. In the next day, we should know who will be the next President. We should be cracking open cheap champagne and getting victoriously drunk because ding dong, the asshole is gone. it should all be over in a matter of hours.

John Kerry will win. He just has to. I don't see any other choice.

This just in: ABC News is sort of almost predicting widespread riots on Tuesday. Now wouldn't that be a mess.

Dear Mr. "President":

I am writing to you to express my utter, absolute disappointment in what you have done with this country over the past 4 years. I remember Election Night 2000, and the chaos of the following weeks, culminating in a supreme court decision naming you President of the United States after losing the popular vote but winning Florida, and the Electorate, by just 537 votes. I remember the disappointment, the anger, and the confusion I felt after that - I was just 17, and I had absolute trust in the American system. Your "election" shattered that. From that point forward, I trusted nothing you said or did, and I still don't.

Who knows what you spent the first 8 months of your presidency doing. All I know is that you spent it ignoring the needs of the American people, as well as ignoring your own intelligence agencies. No one liked you much back then, but they didn't really care.

Then came September 11. Shocked, shattered, disbelieving, and absolutely petrified, the nation turned to you to lead us through. And while most people would agree that you did an okay job of it in the first few months, honestly, you never regained MY trust through that time. And I clearly remember thinking that you would attack Iraq for this, even when it wasn't their doing.

But they trusted you, Mr. President. Maybe they had no other option, but they trusted you, and you spoiled that trust. You promised to rid the world of terror, and Osama bin Laden is missing, Iraq is an absolute fucking mess (with over 100,000 civilians dead, they're saying) and there's no way out. And we only invaded Iraq because you were so fucking obsessed with cleaning up your Daddy's old laundry, not because there were any WMD's, or because Saddam was financing terrorism. If you want to find terrorism-financing, look to the Saudis, and to Bush's oil cronies. Just a thought.

Anyway, Mr. President (and I hope I can only call you that for a little while longer), fuck you. Fuck you and your carelessness and your ignorance and your hatred. I hope you rot in hell. If you get re-elected, this country will end up in civil war. I hope you die a lonely, hollow, regret-filled little man with no one who loves you.

Sincerely,
Me

watch this. NOW.


"we set aside our differences, and assemble our own army, to disarm this weapon of mass destruction that we call our president" - eminem

I've just come to the realization that I am just a horribly organized individual. A really hard game for me to play is to open a drawer and play "Take out everything that doesn't belong!!"

In a recent match-up of this game, Kat vs. Underwear Drawer, I came up with the following things: 13 green tea bags, 2 generic brand hot cocoa mix packets, and 1 instant coffee packet; 2 tampons, 1 with the wrapper torn off by the crap in the drawer; 1 checkbook (from my old account); 4 rocks, collected at various beaches; and 6.2 ounces of "miscellaneous garbage crap." Left in the drawer after the game: q-tip, several small coins, box of matches, and miscellaneous jewelry. It makes sense to me, I promise. All my piles and stashes of crap make perfect sense.

I swear.

In other news, I just wrote a blog entry in TextEdit because Blogger was down. That's sad.

if the unthinkable happens next tuesday, i'm seriously thinking about this. and i'm not kidding.

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||| 26% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||| 22% Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||||||| 74% Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||| 42% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||| 34% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 54% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 58% Your main type is 3 Your variant is sexual

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Ruben, in response to a comment you wrote on an earlier entry, but i think this justifies its own:

I don't believe anything I'm reading about polls or projections. The media can guess all it feels like who'll win Pennsylvania, but I think we can see the answer to the swing states, nay, all the states, between the lines of this article. [article] The sheer numbers of new voter registrations are ridiculous. Hundreds of thousands of new votes have come in in the last year... in almost every state. And only about 30% (if I remember correctly) of these registrations identified a party. So the other 70% of the new registered voters, accounting for FAR more votes than Gore lost more than one state by in 2000, are "up in the air" according to pollsters... what we don't know is how many of these votes are young people or poor people. Seems to me like the rich and the old were already registered, most likely. People are coming out of the woodwork of the left wing, young people, poor people, and even *gasp* black people are going to vote this time around.

If the election goes off without a major hitch, I'm predicting a 60-40% victory. Goddammit, I better not have jinxed us.

It's a pain in the ass, living in an apartment, sharing the laundry facilities with 7 other people. It really sucks to haul your laundry down a flight of stairs, outside, and into the laundry room, only to discover that someone else had beaten you to it. And then you have to haul it all back upstairs and try again tomorrow night, knowing full well that the energy to get your laundry downstairs comes but once a week.

Blah.

It's cold. It's finally cold! A week away from November and I finally have to wear a hat to the bus stop. Hooray!!! Today's high was just about 50... but it's going to get warmer later this week, which I guess is okay, but I'd rather it stayed cold. Cold and not rainy. It's a wonderful feeling, having to bundle up to go outside... but it considerably cuts down on trips to the grocery store. I blame the weather for the 10 pounds, and counting, I've lost since leaving school. Yeah. Maybe I should market my new diet to the stupid and fat among us. It'll be called the "It's called walking more and eating less, stupid!" diet.

Frida is pretty lovey today, following me around the house and purring (as opposed to following me around the house and meowing, which means "feed me, you cruel human! i'm starving*!") I guess she still hasn't forgiven me for leaving her here alone all weekend. Poor kitty. Maybe if she'd learn to get along with Maxwell (and not pee on Jared's bed) then she'd have more priveleges. We'll work on this.

*footnote: my kitty is not starving. indeed, she is quite the opposite, as she has put on a couple ounces over the past few weeks by eating kitten food. stupid fat-kitty, kitten food is for GROWING KITTENS, not FAT ADULT CATS. That's her new name, fat-kitty.

"Over on Fox, though, everybody threw bouquets at Bush, especially that sickening, simpering suck-up Morton Kondracke, who hailed a "much better performance" by the president than last time. Smirking right-winger William Kristol said that of Bush vs. Kerry, "He slaughtered him," a manifestly ridiculous contention."

i'm loving it.

so evidently there's this new trend of suicide webpages in japan. people meet up from the message boards and kill themselves together. just what america needs: another reason for reactionary mothers everywhere to label the internet "evil".

"Scientists say the eruption is not expected to be a repeat of the 1980 catastrophe that killed 57. On May 18th of that year the volcano blow out the sideways, creating a massive landslide, melting glaciers and flooding downstream communities under massive mud flows."

Taken from http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=2404753

The volcano blow out the sideways, huh. That's pretty fucked up.

It's wednesday again, which means it's time for america's next top model. i'm so stoked that there's a new season of this show, it is absolutely amazing. bitchfights, posing, and a man known as mrs. j who is more of a diva than tyra banks. i'm not reading any spoilers about who got kicked off tonight ('cause it's over on the east coast) but i'm hoping it's ann, because she's a bitch.

but i'm still bitter that they didn't pick me. they better have a casting call in seattle for season 5 dammit.

man, if i'd been on the receiving end of this i'd be pissed and insulted beyond belief.

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Originally uploaded by faithless kat.

Edward (big) and Maxwell (small) curled up together... aww, how cute!

Dear Fucking Morons:

Have you registered to vote yet? I didn't think so. I don't understand you people - whining and bitching about how much your life sucks, and not taking the time to think about why your life sucks so much. No job? Want to go to the doctor but can't afford it? Can't afford to pay for gas? Yeah, life really sucks right now. And it's not going to change unless you register to vote before tomorrow. Because after that you're out of time, and you don't get a say in where this country goes over the course of the next four years. Don't let me catch you whining about it, because I'll probably kick you in the teeth, because it's your fault nothing changed, and I hate you for it. Fuckers.

Sincerely,
Me

sassy

sassy
Originally uploaded by faithless kat.

random sassy picture of the day (r.s.p.o.t.d.): sassy!

So I was chillin on the bus on my way home from work today, listening to some Death Cab ('cuz i was in an emo mood) on my 'pod, when these two skater punk high school kids get on and sit down next to me. we're in the three-seater at the back of the bus that faces sideways, so there's three across here, with three others sitting opposite us. i notice as they get on that one of them has white cords hanging down from his ears inside his hoodie. and then after they sit down, the other kid pulls out his shiny white metallic device and plugs white wires into HIS ears. the two of them start laughing and rocking out to their music together, like, look what WE have! so i'm getting self conscious and tired of death cab, so i pull out MY ipod and start changing the tunes. Then i notice the guy sitting across from us laughing. we must have looked like a real-life apple commercial or something. i tried hard not to laugh for awhile and then i got into my music and forgot all about those suckers, because that's what an ipod is for, tuning out unnecessary information.

I just got a great idea for an art installation. I'd call it "ego masturbation" and then have a huge series, probably around 20, of self-portraits. All artists' work is essentially pretentious and ego-masturbatory, the more abstract (conceptually or aesthetically) the more pretentious and masturbatory. It's that whole "you wouldn't get it, it's about ME" thing. My series would only be different in that by admitting to my own pretense and publicly pointing out the ego fellatio, i bring out the irony in others'.

what an awesome idea.

Work blew today. I feel like taking each and every person from accounts payable and ripping their hairs out one by one. and then their toenails. gaaaah. they like to "lose" and "not pay" invoices. pardon me if i'm wrong, but isn't "paying" "invoices" by definition the purpose of having an accounts payable department? Fuckers. And then they went and moved their customer service line onto the general Employee Service Center. So basically I can't talk to anyone in the same building as AP, much less someone in the same room. So I have no way of verifying what the fuck they're doing there. And it drives me nuts. GAAAAH.

anyway. fuck work.

i wish i knew of a way to pay for school, and whether i was going to get in, so that i could start a "days until i'm quitting this damn job" countdown. but, as long as money and admissions are up in the air, i'm suffering in that place indefinitely. hooray.

Ugh, it's Monday again. How does this keep happening to me? At least it's over... work pretty much sucked today as I realized I have too much to get done before the end of the week, and not enough time to do it. Plus it's the end of the month which means rent is due on Frida. And it's a new month, so I have to get a new bus pass. Yuck. Which means I have to keep my spending as low as possible until next Friday, since my new digital camera took a big old bite out of my last paycheck, and there was almost none left when I got paid last friday. Yargh, biweekly paychecks can blow sometimes.

At least I don't have the costs of a brand new kitten... why didn't we take pictures of Maxwell this weekend, Jared??

whoa.

Yeah, so I just bought a table for my room. This table is the shit. It's desk size, but bar height, and looks oh so classy with my ikea bookcase. I'd post pictures, but my boyfriend has my camera (for craigslisting purposes).

So let's review. Apartment/roommate? Got it on Craigslist. Bed (well, mattress on floor): Craigslist. Desk thing: Craigslist. Fish tank? Craigslist. Friends? Craigslist. Bookcase? ...Ikea.

I'm a craigslist junkie.

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Originally uploaded by faithless kat.

And it's my kitten. Look at the goddamn camera, Frida!

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Originally uploaded by faithless kat.

aaaaand... fishies!

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Originally uploaded by faithless kat.

yeah, so i did a bad thing and bought a digital camera... the nikon coolpix 2200. $150. rock on. and 2 megapixels is really enough for my purposes, so i don't feel too cheap only spending that much. and the pics look pretty damn good.

I've decided to acquire a taste for vodka martinis. With olives, of course. And classy glasses.

dooce has an amazing story about poop. This is probably the best poop story I have EVER heard.

fucking sweet, man.

The New York Times has a piece on the cultural significance of the thong and how it is decreasing in market share, losing ground to the boy short. the issues that matter.

Let's all go buy assault weapons! They're legal today!

if this doesn't shock and horrify you beyond words, you're a terrible person.

Why is the FDA dragging its heels in an investigation into the link between juvenile use of antidepressants and increased suicide risk? Whose pockets are their hands in?

Oh yeah, and the stranger's Bush Reelection Alert is at red. Wonderful.

nothing has made me this happy in a long time.

Man, you know shit's fucked up when humanitarian organizations are pulling out of iraq. The country is becoming too dangerous for them to be there due to more and more groups kidnapping people. It seems like it's a downward slope, things aren't getting any better than they were a year ago, with Americans retreating from Fallujah (and I don't even want to think about how many people have died there). In the past week the American death toll passed the 1,000 - and here's a scary fact: that is higher than the death toll for the first three years of the Vietnam war. Or, rather, of the first three years American troops were in Vietnam. The Iraqi death toll estimated to be around 12 times that - here's a website with the statistics. That's some fucked up shit.

I guess there is some masochistic side of me that wants things to get bad for a few years. not elsewhere, not in Iraq, not in Russia, but here at home. Americans are so convinced that the way they live now is how it's going to be forever, or that things are only going to get better from here... look at the Republicans' predictions on the economy, and how wrong they've been for the past few years, but everyone keeps looking forward and thinking things will get better. You know what? They aren't, especially if Bush is re-elected.

That's another thing I'm working on coming to terms with - Bush's reelection. It's not that I'm losing hope, it's... that... I'm losing hope. don't get me wrong, I'm still going to vote, and be just as fucking adamant about making my friends vote, as I have been, but it's an uphill battle. But what happens if W does get reelected? Do I flee the country in November? I can't. I don't have enough points for canadian citizenship and I don't have the cash or family elsewhere (i.e. western europe) to run off there. I guess what I'll have to do is stay here and fight the power with whatever means i can.

Fuck the Man. Yes, I did just say that on my blog. Homeland Security, do me your worst.

You'd think my goldfish weren't getting enough to eat, watching them attack the algae wafer i dropped into my tank to feed Seamus, my plecostomus. But no, they aren't going hungry, they're just goldfish. Goldfish do three things: eat, swim, and poop. They're just damn entertaining when they do the first two of those, at least. They're getting bigger, too, which excites me. I can tell Agent Scully is way happier in 20 gallons than she was in 1 gallon, and the other two new fish (Marcellus Wallace and Orange Fish) are doing awesome too. Such happy little swimmy goldfish.

this brings me to my second thought. I need a digital camera, badly. i want to have a photo blog. My life is far more visually interesting now than it was 3 years ago when i started this blog (holy shit, it HAS been that long. Check the archive links on the side for proof). I want to post pictures of my kitty being goofy on catnip, my goldfish fighting over algae wafers, my new bookshelf and room, and all that fun stuff. Maybe even photo-j my daily commute, or interesting things in the neighborhood, of which there are plenty. I wish I could have documented the fire in the building behind us from the beginning - or at least the aftermath - because now they're pretty much done cleaning up and they'll probably start rebuilding soon. I wish I could show you the view from Gasworks Park at sunset. I need a digital camera, and that's that.

But I must not buy one until I've paid off my snowboard boots and my ipod and at least most of my computer. Me having a credit card is kind of a bad thing.

So we went to REI today and i did a bad thing. (see 4th from bottom. i paid $10 more than that but it's the same with shipping.) yeah, they fit like a glove (or like a boot) and they are way cooler than the ones i have... not to mention the fact that they FIT, unlike my old Airwalks. So hopefully I can sell the older ones for maybe $30 or $40 and then my net expenditure on the boots will only be like $60... not like I'm gonna find a better price this season, and I need new boots, and now I can save up for a pair of new bindings before October or so. Yaaaaay! It's almost cold again!

I had a series of interesting thoughts a few nights ago, came to some realizations about our society and the future thereof.
1) There will never be another Elvis. A pop star with such mass appeal is becoming less and less likely as the population grows and the Internet and other forms of communication bring us closer to people that are farther away. Also, the advent of technology has brought about so many new forms of music that our tastes are diversifying. Everybody loved Elvis. It's not happening again.
2) Television is becoming more and more democratic. Reality television is hardly a travesty; it was an inevitability. Half the people on TV now are "ordinary" people escaping from their everyday lives for awhile, not "stars." Greta Garbo and Cary Grant were borderline royalty. Now, TV stars have a little more money than everyone else, but they're not exactly treated like kings. 3) Supermodels are a thing of the past. Modeling is becoming a career rather than a star path. Read September's Vogue for backup on that.
4) The culmination of evolution will be Nirvana. We're getting close but as long as consciousness is tied to organic bodies it cannot be achieved.

sometimes i think that there is no justice in the world. i mean here i am, 5'8, size 4, not so bad looking (okay downright hot), with a near-genius IQ, and then there are people that weigh almost 200 pounds and have an IQ of much less than half their weight. and are unfortunate looking.

i'm glad i got the end of the stick that i did.

on a related note, this dress should be on my doorstep tomorrow. how hot will i look in it?

Hmm. This weekend was kind of eventful, in a wholesome way. Saturday we helped Jared's aunt and uncle move into a fucking sweet elementary school that is now an artist's co-op. It was fun. And in exchange for helping them move his uncle is going to shoot me. With a camera, dumbass. I'm finally finding my balls, and I'm going to go in to seattle models guild for an open interview. and hopefully walk out with a modeling contract. But having a professional shoot me for my interview photos is like, the best ever, because if you don't have any professional pictures no one is going to hire you, and what's the point of having a contract if you don't ever get any gigs?

I also got to go to Ikea this weekend and I got an awesome bookshelf that is now in my room. It's huge and holds all my crap - it's wonderful.

My cat has worms. She has an appointment at Cat Clinic of Seattle tomorrow at 5:30 to hopefully take care of the worms. YUCK. But it'll be nice to establish a relationship with a vet in case the unthinkable happens... because I love my baby girl. I bought her a new collar this weekend - it's pink with rhinestones!! And it has a jingle bell on it. SO CUTE. She looks so prissy in it... I love it.

It's finally acting like it's really Seattle and has started to rain. The past few days have been in the 60s and rainy - i LOVE it. It's also been pretty windy... I love this kind of weather. But it still baffles me that Seattlites can't drive in the rain. It's their native environment, and they're totally confused by it. I don't get it.

johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com.

best. article. evar.

I HATE the way English grammar is becoming a thing of the past. People need to learn how to use apostrophes and commas correctly and not fucking confuse "your" and "you're."

I received an email at work a few weeks ago from a grownup member of corporate society who, presumably, graduated from high school. This email contained the phrase "your write." I spent several minutes trying to figure out how the hell I own a verb, but this high-school graduate told me that I do, but then they failed to tell me anything about this verb I own. That was the end of the sentence: Your write. I don't get it. I thought that elementary school was also known as "grammar school" for a simple reason: grammar is an important part of our written communication, which is a crucial part of society. Do it right, not write.

So I get home and my fishtank has an algae problem. So I go to the petstore and buy a plecostomus. He's cool. He needs a name.

I couldn't find him for awhile after I put him in the tank. He was a pleclostomus.

Now he's just eating.

oh, update on that arson spree: the stranger is speculating that the recent arson spree was pulled by a bunch of eco-terrorists who committed a similar spree (albeit much smaller) at the beginning of last august. i can't find the exact link, so if you want to read it you'll have to go pick up a paper copy, or else scour that site more thoroughly than i.

the rationale is that the spree last year targeted high-density housing and one of the sites was marked with something along the lines of "dont build high density housing, fuckers" on it. and, several of the sites that burned in the last few weeks, including the condo-under-construction that was the site of the barbecue behind my apartment building, were all high-density housing. *shrug* eco-terrorists piss me off.

i got my... IPOD!!!! hooray.

riddle me this: why is my roommate's ipod here today, when he ordered it on Sunday, and mine isn't, when I ordered it on Friday? Fedex are bastards.

I spilled my thai food on my computer while I was eating.

I got touchpadthai.

Groan.

Poll: Is Kat bipolar? Discuss.

I bought an ipod today!!! It's a refurbished 10gb one, discontinued and all that shiz, but it was only 169 before tax, like 183 total. That's a steal for an ipod. It's shipping out this afternoon. It should be here like Wednesday. Can we talk about stoked??? And also, whoever said that money can't buy happiness was full of shit.

I had a revelation today on the bus, about society and crazy people and Nurse Ratched. Saw a kid reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and it sparked a lot of thoughts.

i just discovered the baddest-ass remix of crazy english summer by faithless. it's on the reperspective album (which was the partner to their outrospective). it is amazing.

and the hole behind my apartment building still smells like barbecue. disturbing.

in other news, mike's light found to be unacceptable substitute for bitch beer, not to mention impossible to get drunk off of.

So I thought Fox News was just being sensationalistic, but as it turns out, there really is an arson spree going on in Seattle. There don't seem to be any answers on whether or not these fires are related to the one last weekend that nearly burned down my brand-new apartment building - and did melt some of the vinyl siding off of the back wall. (From where I sit now, on the balcony, I can see where that building was, and how fucked-up the next building over is... it's about half-gutted. Disturbing.) And now, a quote from Mayor Greg Nickels, whom I think should sound exactly like Mayor Quimby: "We're not going to speculate on who this might be. But we will find them and we will bring them to justice." My ass.

Funny yet morbid sidenote: while I was walking up to my apartment on the first day it was mine, 2 days after the fire, I thought, "Hmm... I smell barbecue." Then I turned the corner and saw the charred remains of a condominium building. Yeeeeah.

i am going to murder my cat if she wakes me up at 3AM with her lonely yowling again tomorrow morning. I don't care if you can't find a 3am playbuddy, shut the fuck up about it and let me sleep!!!

I know it's been awhile, but maybe things will start to become more regular here. details to follow.

so i did it - i got an apartment. I found it on craigslist. the ad sounded nice, so i went and met the potential roommate, who also seemed nice, filled out an application, paid my deposit, and all of a sudden, bam, I have a place to live. moving is a pain in the butt, but it's nice to finally have a place to call home. I started moving in as soon as last Monday, with the purchase and setup of a 20-gallon aquarium with 3 fancy goldfish, and the transport of a few boxes. By Friday I had everything i needed to sleep here - on a mattress also purchased on craigslist - and as of saturday everything is pretty much here. jared came up and spent the weekend with me, which was very nice. we went to a great thai place that is literally a 1-minute walk from my apartment, piddled around the city, spent way too much on nice clothes at northgate mall (i've discovered i can fit in a size 4 at express - dangerous knowledge)... and in the meantime i've been slowly moving in. i don't have nearly enough furniture though - most glaringly missing are a desk and a big bookshelf. I have one small bookshelf but it only holds like half my books, not to mention pictures and art stuff and other random crap. the place also has wireless, which is great. i am currently reclining in my bed typing. my only wish right now is that i had an airport express so that i could be streaming music to my stereo speakers which are across the room. wires are so obnoxious - airtunes is where it's at.

man, it is so nice to be a consumer again. i spent 40 bucks on a new shirt for work yesterday, and i don't feel bad about it. i am a little resentful of the 45 bucks i spent on flea medication for my little fleabag, but i suppose having fleas all over the house is yucky, and she will be much happier when she's less itchy. plus i got 4 months worth for that price.

last night we went out dancing - progressive house at the baltic room on the far west edge of capital hill. it was pretty sweet, especially since jared met the guy putting on the show at another thing last wednesday, and he guestlisted us. so all we paid for was drinks. it was pretty cool.

frida just added her commentary to this blog entry by rubbing her butt against my computer screen. thanks, kitty. she's pretty stoked to have a balcony where she can go out and smell outside, and i'm glad she has a place she can be outside without me worrying about her. i was worried that she'd try to jump over the railing and get out, but it's a long way down (i'm on the 2nd floor) and also, there is a 2 or 3 inch gap between the deck and the solid part of the railing, so she can crouch down and see everything going on. she's still getting used to the fact that she's allowed to be outside on the deck though - she always looks like she's guilty when she comes in and goes out, like she's going to get squirted with the water bottle. she'll get used to it in time though. i just hope she can adjust to being the only cat in the house - the past two nights she's run around the apartment yowling, trying to find another kitty to play with.

that's all the news for now. hopefully updates to this will start to become more frequent.

it's, um, pink. rock.

forget about me?

yeah, so i um, spent a whole bunch of money i don't have yet on a sexy, sexy new 12" powerbook. i was going to buy an ibook, but little things like twice the hard drive capacity, built-in wifi, and the hot titanium case just overpowered my financial sensibilities. fortunately, the apple store was out of ipod minis, so i didn't drop $1800 on the whole shebang, and now i can try to convince myself to pay off the computer before i buy the ipod. yeah.

work blows, but it pays. i'm looking for a better job, since the one i have is so fucking shitty. i applied at a vet's office for front desk, and today i submitted my resume to be a "mac genius" at the apple store where i just spent all that cash. i'm not really a mac genius, but i think i could become one - i *did* have that year and a half stint as an RCC at stanford, and apple knows stanford, so i think they'd be impressed.... and how fucking cool would that job be, working at the genius bar at the store down the street...

i vaguely remember opening blogger with some purpose in mind, other than to put down all this meaningless drivel. i had something to say, and now it's escaped me. so i guess i'll just say that mac os 10.3 kicks absolute ass, and that my new computer is sexier than you, your girlfriend, and your best friend's mom put together. and i'm going to see harry potter tomorrow. i can't wait.

oh, by the way, i still exist. i promise. i just don't blog much since my computer doesn't turn on and i have to use jared's. it's march, i'm still unemployed, but the weather is getting better. in other news, i don't miss school, but if you're reading this, and you're at stanford, odds are i miss you. unemployment is nice except for the fact that i have no money. i got my washington drivers license today. so i'm officially a resident i think. which means i should be able to enroll at UW for spring quarter next year. um, yeah. blah, yo. seattle could be a little more interesting if it tried, i think.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	60% Explored the pleasures of the flesh	65%
Shamelessness	57.1% It takes a couple of drinks	79.4%
Sex Drive	68.4% A fool for love, but not always	77.7%
Straightness	7.1% Knows the other body type like a map	44.9%
Gayness	83.9% Repressed, are we?	83.5%
Fucking Sick	77.9% Refreshingly normal	89.9%
You are 57.54% pure Average Score: 72.6%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

whelp, i'm here. in tacoma. i've spent the last few days looking for a place to live and a job... no leads as of yet, but it's not so bad. I'm being a housebitch for Jared (and brian) which makes me feel better about taking up space and breathing their air. this morning i cleaned the kitchen, and then i went grocery shopping.

i got sammich stuff and granola bars so we can have munchies on the slopes tomorrow. Happy birthday to me!

Happy birthday to meeeeeee, i live in a treeeeeee, i look like a monkey, and i smell like one too!

yup, it's my 21st birthday, and i woke up like a trooper with a hangover. As is customary for such occasions. anyway, having a hangover tomorrow would totally suck, so it's a good thing that i got my celebratin' done last night.

t minus 18 hours!!!

t minus 36 hours until departure. rock out.

i packed and halfway cleaned my room today. tomorrow (when i'm not celebrating my birthday by purchasing and/or consuming alcohol) i'll finish cleaning, pack that last-minute stuff, and load up the car. and then in exactly 36 hours i'll rouse my ass out of bed and pump some coffee into my bloodstream, and get on down the road.

my doctor's physicians' assistant gets my vote for biggest dumb-dumb of the year. evidently when she was trying to reschedule me for an earlier appointment, she DELETED the old appointment for today, so when i went in today everyone looked at me like a moron. Yay. she lost all semblance of credibility with me the day she told me that i needed to take my birth control for a "full 30 days" before it would become effective. First of all it comes in packs of 28, not 30. AND second of all, let's review the female reproductive system. Youre supposed to start taking the pills the day your period starts. You're not fertile then, and won't be for 14 days. So you'll have about 2 weeks worth of the drug in your body by the time you're supposed to ovulate, and it suppresses ovulation. Yes, even the first month. So, if no egg pops out, no spermy can meet with an egg, and no baby results. I guess they didn't teach her that in the 2-year degree she's got. You'd think it would include a basic anatomy class... evidently not.

ok. /rant.

well, t minus 3 days until departure. rock.

use mozilla firebird. it rules.

blaaaargh, my computer is too high-maintenance. mother fucker.

also i think it hit 80 today and we have all the windows open at home. but now it is getting cold and it is dark and the wind is blowing in. sweetness.

i had an interesting experience on new years eve which put a lot of things in perspective. for one, who i am, and who i want to be, is for me to decide, and only me. in the big picture it is not a big deal if i disappoint my parents - the sun will come up the next morning. if i don't have a concrete idea of where i want to be in ten years, there is nothing wrong with that. all i know is that for now, i am taking the first step off into a new world, and i feel in my gut that it's the right decision. i also decided that i haven't got a reason to be depressed anymore, and that i need to just pull my head out of my ass and stop it. and, i think i might want to work in civil service. doing something for a non-profit that's working for something i really feel is worthwhile. i remember being really touched by the newspaper spread on this ad campaign that actresses were doing - it's animated, and it's public service messages about things people need to know about. depression, anorexia, bulimia, i think they're making one about self-injury - serious emotional and mental health issues that are just not talked about enough in society. i really was interested by that campaign (i still have yet to see the ads on tv; i watch far too little of it for that to happen) and wished that i could help - i want to be one of the animators, or perhaps one of the writers. i want to make public service announcements that people can relate to. i want to help tell the people in the world that are hurting that it's okay to cry, and that there is help for them when they are ready for it.