it's hard to believe spring break is almost over, when it feels like it's just started. it's too bad this vacation isn't long enough for me to get sick of home and want desperately to go back. well, i do want to go back, of course, but right now, just lazing around the house is not bad at all.

last night, nathan called around 5 to say he was in town unexpectedly. what the hell? evidently when he found out that i couldn't come down and visit this weekend he decided to hitch a ride up for easter weekend and hang out. a most odd move on his part, i must say. anyway, we hung out for awhile, saw Death to Smoochy, which was quite an entertaining flick. *shrug*

i started this post about 3 hours ago and then the internet went out, so i don't remember where my train of thought was going. which sucks. oh well.

sigh. another hectic spring break day. hmm, interesting that i started my last post with an exact opposite remark.

today was really long. it started when jamie and i went up to the high school for a campus chat. we had about 6 people total come visit and find out about stanford.. but it was still fun. between lunches we wandered the halls and talked to teachers and kids. it was a good time. i saw a bunch of my friends, which was cool. the interesting part of the visit was when georgette came up to me and told me a sad story about tyler not wanting to go to prom unless he had a date that was a really good friend with him. she said that he'd mention how cool it'd be "if kat could come down"... so she asked me if i could do that. i doubt it'll happen, but hell, if she could like take up a collection from their group of friends ("fly kat down to prom!") and pay for more than about half of my ticket i'd be game... oh, but wow, i'd forgotten how hard that poor kid was crushing on me. he seemed positively delighted to see me. i went to the band banquet with him last year, and he seemed to be soo excited to be in my company the whole night... who knows. i feel bad for him for not having a date, but it's really not my problem. nor is it my prom. if it costs me less than $100 i could do it, i suppose.

i just got home from work. the whole time i was there i was thinking about how much i should blog the thoughts that go through my head while i'm there. it's too bad they're gone by the time i get back... the only one i can think of right now is something like this. "Oh, this song. ... I haven't heard this song in awhile. ... not since i was working here last year. ... oh, this song is by celine dion. ... oh, i remember now, it's a good thing i haven't heard this song in awhile. ... gaaah, make it stop! i don't care about what you're whining about right now celine! fuck off! aaauuughh!" mmmm, yeah that's me thinking at work.

tonight is carrie's band concert... it's in fucking birdville. i don't want to ride down there. gaah. :P oh well. i suppose i can deal. it's just that i'm missing jamie's mom's cooking, which is really good, so it sucks that i'm missing it. mmm. oh well, i suppose i'll survive.

now, after having stared at computer screens for the past 3 hours, i think i'm going to go somewhere where i don't have to look at something less than 2 feet from my eyes. i doubt i'll be online much tonight due to band events and will coming home... a good thing for my poor eyes, i'm sure (i left my glasses at home.. i'm totally wearing them now, but earlier was hard on my eyes so i need these now. gaah.) okay, enough blog. eyes rest time now. :P

mmm. another lazy spring break day. the weather has warmed up a bit, which is def. nice. it was too damn cold the past few days... it should be more than 44 in texas in march. *shrug* oh well. at least i'll be out of here in another 4 days or so.

today was a pretty good day. i got up pretty late and went out to lunch with jamie and her mom and my mom. we went to the classic cafe in southlake, which was pretty good. it was cool to hang out with them. tomorrow jamie and i are going up to the high school to do a campus chat, where we basically sit there and talk about how wonderful stanford is to anyone who will listen. that should be fun - get to harass the guidance counselors and old teachers, etc. yaaaaay.

after lunch i went over to work again... made some cash... that's good. good stuff. fun. yay. (: after work mom and i went shopping - bought 2 new pairs of shoes, one for $65 and one for $3.50. the expensive ones are most badass. they're red leather, and my mom describes them as looking like bowling shoes. i think that's a silly description, and thought they looked more 70's... but those who were around in the 70's disagree with me. whatever. they're cool shoes. the cheap ones were good old old navy flip-flops. yaaaay! i needed a pair of black ones, anyway. that was exciting.

hm. not too much else is going on around here. had yummy sandwiches for dinner. it's being a nice relaxing vacation, which is totally what i needed after that last week... finals... aaaack. :P hopefully next quarter will be better. though, honestly, i'm in no hurry to get back to the grind. i wish spring break were long enough for me to get sick of my family before going back... the 17 units i'm taking next quarter will be more than painful enough. *sigh* though i do love california... and i feel like the classes i'll be taking (other than my shitty-ass pwr assignment) will be interesting.

i think i may need medication, i'm listening to and downloading shitloads of incredibly happy pop. i mean hanson and britney spears. i wonder if this is a serious problem that will require medical attention or if i'll be okay in a few hours...

so i finished the other template for blogskins. go over there and check it out! blogskins.com my skin is called "rivendell". sign up for an account and rate the skin! (don't leave comments that say "hi kat" or anything like that though... only legit comments will be appreciated. :)

yaaaay!

hmm. so the redesign seems to be done. anyway, if you have any gripes/ comments/ suggestions/ random thoughts, comment it up.

yeah, i think i like this version better. it's kind of rivendellish. not quite ethereal enough to be lothlorien... that's got more greys and misty colors. then again, rivendell is an autumn place, i feel, so perhaps this like, what rivendell was like a couple hundred years ago. anyway, i feel like it stimulates my creativity a bit more than the last incarnation. (:

ahh, time to start working on the redesign... look for a completely redone version coming this week! yaaaaay! (:

hm, it's odd that i don't feel much like blogging here at home. *shrug* perhaps it's the allergies. (i'm allergic to my house. or my cat.) :(

ah, home again. or shall i say "in texas again." yes, i shall say that.

ah, in texas again.

it's kind of funny - i actually feel a bit like courtney love right now. i just got back from lasertagging with a bunch of guys and genny. i'm wearing my tough bitch parachute pants and a black tank top. i bought a 50 cent bracelet from a vending machine which is faux leather with studs. i don't give a fuck. i'm having a beer.

it's funny how just having a beer makes you feel bad ass. 'cause i definitely feel bad ass right now.

ooh, thunder. there is a thunderstorm outside.

i hope i make it to the airport tomorrow.

Which Rock Chick Are You?

song of the moment: "get me away from here, i'm dying" by belle and sebastian (hmm)

ah, last day before spring break. finished up my finals yesterday evening and then spent the rest of the night chilling with becky and jamie, and then hanging with mike. becky and jamie and i ate at stern and ended up talking in jamie's room until about 10. then mike and i got pearl milk tea (mike decided to try the "green bean tea", which is most odd... it actually has little green beans in it. in addition to the pearls. it's weird, dude. weird.) and rented movies. we watched High Fidelity and 10 Things I Hate About You. Actually I fell asleep halfway through 10 things (bad kat!), but he finished it. that seems to be a common theme... we watch a movie and i fall asleep halfway through, and he finishes it. hehe. perhaps if he weren't so warm and cuddly, it wouldn't happen...

anyway, tomorrow i go home. it'll be a full day of transportation, because i'm taking the caltrain. that means i need to catch the 10:01 caltrain out of PA which means I need to either leave branner around 9:20 with all my shit, or find someone to drive me up there (which would be most nice). hopefully if i have to walk it won't be raining like it is today... that would be miserable. :( anyway, though, it's spring break, and in, oh, 20 hours, i'll be "home". that's a comforting thought.

actually, i'm not looking forward to being home as intensely as i was during the week, while i was going through hell. winter quarter sucks the life out of you, i'm convinced. it's not a healthy time period. compound that with 19 units of which 5 are math 51 and you have a formula for disaster. fortunately, i think i escaped absolute fucking hell, and should have above a 3.0 for the quarter, which is good. next quarter should be entertaining, too... me101 and pwr and ihum and japanese == a masochist's paradise.

yeah, so my past few posts have been a bit discombobulated, but that's to be expected, considering the academic hell i've been living in... thank god it's over. now i just wish there were something going on on campus tonight... nothing whatsoever. it's dead. i'm going laser tagging with a bunch of guys from the 3rd floor later, which should be entertaining, and get my mind back together by being completely mindless. blah. i'm dead.

god, do i ever need this week off.

"your hair is everywhere, screaming infidelities..."
-dashboard confessional

and now, in the egotist category: i am the most famous kat blog on the internet! yaaaay! (:

i really like balconies. they're a really neat concept. a little bit of outdoors without going downstairs. plus, you have a really great view of what goes on around you, without what's going on around you having a really great view of you. for instance, from my balcony vantage point i watched four brannerites play a friendly game of catch, and even watched one of them accidentally overthrow the ball and hit a car. i could see what they could not, namely, the baseball-sized dent in the car's hood. i thought that was cool.

i have a japanese final tomorrow morning at 9:30 am. that's early. before that, though, i'll need to study a whole lot. that sucks.

for some reason i feel strangely fine, even though i have a math exam in about 2 and a half hours, and i know relatively nothing about said math exam. i nearly had a breakdown earlier today, while working on my paper, but for some reason, having turned in my paper has lifted a great weight from my chest and now i am no longer concerned about math. which is probably a bad thing. i need a nap, really. or else caffeine. or a combination of both. if the exam is at 7, then i should eat dinner right at 5:30 and cram afterward. it's doable, definitely. ah, math. how do i loathe thee? let me count the ways...
1, 2, 3.14159....... which reminds me, i've discovered a new irrational number that i love: the golden ratio, 1.618... *shrug* perhaps i need sleep. or caffeine. or to study for math. yes. study for math time now.

new screenshot. the dark figure in the pic is my sister. my dad took the shot at white sands, new mexico... where they went on their spring break while i sat here studying.

googlebombing is fun. and i vaguely know adam mathes, who is mentioned in the article. and he probably vaguely knows me.

yaaaay!

silicon valley kicks ass.

Can we talk about how much I love living here? this place never ceases to amaze me. i walk down university avenue without even appreciating its amazingness. it's a beautiful place. and it's the epicenter of this revolution that is going on *right now*. the recovery is in progress. i will be in the middle of it. i never want to leave this place. it's amazing.

mike and i went into palo alto this morning to get bagels, and we walked up and down university. i've actually started to notice the comeback that the newsweek article mentions - the cool little circular store that's been empty for months is now becoming a store. it's got badass office chairs in it. (*drool*... yes, i'm a product design major)... anyway, yeah, i love palo alto.

despite the fact that university avenue has like 7 oriental rug stores. how the hell can one street, five blocks, support 7 oriental rug stores? they must be a front for some sort of shady underground operative.

most bizarre dream last night... very discombobulated. things it involved: me, people from my high school, people from branner, a train (i think), me attempting to do pirouettes, (and, strangely enough, succeeding), some guy asking me in japanese whether the amazon river was longer than china, me answering: "anoo, shichiji han goro yo." (it's about 7:30), some guy grabbing my ass, and the realization that i was not indeed wearing any pants. also involved was me trying to pour several things full of coins into a box about the size of a deck of cards, noticing that some of the coins were blue and red and gold, the decision that these must be MTV2 coins because they were colored, and me wandering a mall, walking into an electronics store to grab kevin christopher because i'd lost him (i think he was my brother in the dream) and having sagar (who seemed to work at the store) tell me he'd gone through the gloves (yes, gloves at an electronics store; it was quite the selection) and hadn't found any i'd like. i also seem to remember giving people the finger a lot. everyone kept making fun of me.

hmmm....

now, if only i could write my paper that quickly and easily. :P

uuuf. why does wilbur food always disagree with me? uggghhh.

this baffles me. why on earth do people need books to tell them how to blog? isn't blogging as instinctive as breathing? or perhaps that's just me.

winner: mike. See his lucky screen shot here.

who will it be, who will it be now? looks to me like i'm going to hit 10000 visitors today... whoever it is will get a special prize! take a screenshot of the counter reading 10000 and send it to me... yaaaay! (:

My tea's gone cold, I wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me
that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life.

-thank you, dido

wow, this color scheme is really getting on my nerves. i'm so much more of a subdued person than this. :P eh, i have spring break to do just that... yaaaay!

i had an interesting experience when i dropped by the post office on my way back from the gym. for some reason something prompted me to go back around the front of the post office rather than going around back like i usually do, and while i was scootering along, i saw a guy checking his mail who, from the back, looked identical to karl. hair, flannel, pants, build, height... everything. it kind of frightened me. forced me to think about him, definitely. which i honestly haven't done much of in the recent past other than "oh yeah, there was that kid, and that year, eh, it's behind me, we make mistakes, yeah." maybe just seeing his image there was kind of a realization that maybe it wasn't time wasted. maybe i loved him. and maybe there was a reason for it. i mean, he was a nice kid, though a little devoid of personality, and the time we had together was definitely enjoyable... but i also had the realization that i will probably never see him again. he goes to his school, i go to mine. perhaps he still has the ambition of cooping at and working for nasa. in houston. he'll probably end up either somewhere in the midwest or in texas. i'm going to be a product design major. i'm going to stay in silicon valley, because i love it here. maybe i'll work for apple or someone. who knows. it is extremely unlikely that our paths should cross again. and that almost seems like a shame. *shrug*

on a related note, we discussed in ihum section the other day about how achieving goals is like living in the past. you set a goal for yourself in light of your present values and ideas and desires, and if you achieve that goal, you're still living in the ideas and values and desires that you had say, five years ago, and you haven't really progressed at all. that's my random depressing thought, thanks to ihum, for the day.

weeeeird. i can't handle that.

happy pi day everyone!
me on 3-14: Aladariel (1:59:26 AM): i love pi!
yaaaay!
And from Kathy: YAY!!!!! YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO TELL ME!
surprising, considering I'm on the west coast and therefore 3 hours behind her... but I rule.

now, time to prepare for my japanese interview. it's too bad that i didn't wake up speaking japanese today... i'd be all prepared for the interview this morning and everything... ah well. going to prepare now. but first, random context-free quotes from our happy pi day chatroom this morning.

Me: fuck you
Eric: that's...somebody else's job
Joel: ::raises hand::
Eric: uh
Mike: ::slaps joel::

new screenshot. yaaaaay!

so, i have almost 3 pages written on my 8 to 10-page paper due on monday. i'd say i'm doing pretty damn well. if i can get the thing written by the end of the week, then i can edit on the weekend... and have an ass-kicking 9-page paper to turn in on monday.

also to do tonight: math51 problem set and a review sheet about Sappho for IHum. I feel okay. I'm good. I'm on top of the end of this quarter. Except in math. i'm going to die in math.

oh well. not at least until after "dinner."

ahh, i just can't bring myself to do the math problem set. it's not due until thursday, but i really need to get it out of the way soon. it's amusing how i wrote out a schedule for myself for tonight, failed to leave myself any free time, and ended up not following any of it. life is funny that way.

the food in the dining hall has regressed to the point where i'm subsisting entirely upon spinach salads, soy milk, french bread, eggs, and dessert. and sometimes, not even the eggs, because they look nasty. you know, when they're not really so much egg-shaped, that's not so appealing. anyway, i don't know if it's that the food has gotten worse or if we have gotten disillusioned with it. it's to the point where i honestly dream of next year and having an open kitchen. (last night i dreamed about toyon eating clubs. in japanese. i kid you not.)

i got a package from mommy today in the mail! it was exciting. it included 2 tank tops similar to the ones i have that i love so much, but with thicker straps and a v-neck - i guess that's this season's look - and a pair of flip-flops. the super-cool part was that one of the tanks and the flip-flops are precisely the color that i decided is my favorite last night. (see also: the lid of my laptop, my cellphone cover, my prom dress, my fingernail polish, my happy fuzzy sweater.) also there was a Discover magazine and some funnies and some easter eggs for me to open during finals. how cute of my mom. (: almost starts to make up for the fact that they're in new mexico skiing right now... dammit. :P

i'm a terrible advisee. i never go see my advisor. i know what classes i want to take without consulting him. i'm lazy. i hope i don't, as a paa next year, get any advisees like me. :P

ok, off to do more un-studying... joel's dorm, then the apple store in PA and pearl milk tea! yaaaay!

this morning, i woke up speaking japanese.

good old fashioned blog post.

it's dead week. which doesn't mean that there is nothing to do, no classes to attend, etc, because it's time to study. no, actually, at stanford this means that you die. because all the teachers load you up with assignments, like 10 page papers and problem sets and homework. it's a great time of year.

so i'm pretty much drained, physically and emotionally. last week took a lot out of me, and even though there's been a weekend between then and now, i'm pretty pooped. i just want to shut the world out for about a week and ignore everyone but myself. well, i suppose that's what spring break is for. i think i'll spend that one in my room, with headphones on, playing computer games. or perhaps designing my new blog template.

also one of those random urges i got the other day was to take up jewelrymaking. earrings out of silver wire and shit. also perhaps like, making big chunky rings out of silver and machining them until they are really pretty. it's too bad stanford doesnt' offer a jewelrymaking class, and also too bad that i didn't get off my high ap horse while i was in high school and take the damn course. that would have been pretty fucking cool.

so perhaps i'll do some of that over spring break. yeah. and sit in my room with headphones on. and shut out the world.

mmm, that will be a nice break. it's too bad that i have a week of death and a week of finals between me and it. :P

i have a package waiting for me at the post office. yay!

"tuesday's coming, did you bring your coat?"
"i live in a giant bucket!"
-rejected

disclaimer: i do not have any f*cking p*ctures from m*t*v spr*ng br*ak unc*nsored!!! god dammit! i don't know how my blog keeps turning up visitors from this search, but if this is you, try putting quotations around them, that way you won't turn up sites that happen to have those four fairly common words. i'm sorry. those pictures are not here. try somewhere else. (all the asterisks are to keep those words from causing even more hits. :P god, google is way too thorough.)

hmm. well, the graphic works in my edit blog window. anyway, that's supposed to be arwen. :P

mmm, time for a silly fun personality test result posting.

What LoTR Character Are You?

You are most like Arwen. Calm and reserved, you are not given to sudden outbursts. You conduct yourself with dignity...most of the time. The rest of the time you cut loose and are totally cool. You don't really think of yourself as popular, but plenty of people like you. You are not given to needless flirting. The right person will come along some day, and you are content to wait.

anyone surprised? (:

yaaaay! added a google search panel to the bottom of my page. this should provide hours of entertainment. actually, it's more for the visitors to my site who get here from google and since it's not a static page, they can't find what they're looking for.

i had a nice, ass-long nap this afternoon. it was wonderful. i had a dream that we "borrowed" a really nice vintage ford explorer limo from ben savage (um, ok) and traveled cross-country in it. when we tried to return it we ended up eating in the savages' "dining room" and his mother kept trying to bring us things like dom perignion and kobe beef. evidently it was a restaurant. when she offered to bring around some caviar, my dad got this really sick look on his face and said "i have to go. i'm not feeling well." and took off. then i realized that was a good idea. anyway, we tried to get our shit out of the car and ourselves out of the room the car was in (which was not the garage, but morphed from a dining room to a bedroom across the hall from ben's room...) before they realized that we'd borrowed the car. i found my keys in between several layers of window panes and then took off running. fortunately i was wearing workout clothes, so it wasn't obvious that i was trying to escape. then i woke up, just in time for dinner.

i hope i can hold off my impending breakdown until after 3:45. it's coming though... e.t.a. approximately 2:00. fuck.

anyone have a car and want to drive me to ihum section?

the weather today was beyond belief. it was a gorgeous sunny day, but it poured down rain the whole day. it was just too much to handle. the bright sun reflecting off the wet world made it seem lighter than any other day. it was amazing. i love california.

mmm. interesting coloration changes going on here. i'm not sure how well i like this one... but i think i'm gonna let it stand until spring break. stay tuned, however, for the next incarnation: the lothlorien theme. lots of deep greens and bright greens, some yellow, some brown... perhaps some good tree graphics, some blue-turquoise thrown in there for a magical look. might require some... graphics... perhaps i'll get photoshop from daddy when i go home. yaaay pirated software! (:

my life, next quarter, most likely:

	monday	tuesday	wednesday	thursday	friday
9	pwr		pwr		pwr
10		japanese		japanese
11	japanese	ihum	japanese	ihum	japanese
3:15		me101		me101
6:30		ihum		ihum

maaad mad html skills. i rule.

yeah, i'm working on it. i'm not so much enjoying the minty background, but i didn't like it all white... anyway, opinions? i also think that maybe the links are hard to read. anyway yeah.

hmm. i can't convince myself that i don't deserve today off of math as well. well, i need to write my ihum paper. so yeah, i don't need to go to math.

i have tickets to go see kevin smith speak on thursday. that should be good, and funny. the cool thing is that jerry yang is coming to "branner presents" on thursday... he used to live in branner. (cofounder of yahoo). so that's gonna be my off-the-hook famous people day. it should be cool.

i have too much shit to do this week. aaack.

when i'm stable long enough
i start to look around for love
see us reaching for a prince
my mind begins the orange mess
but when i start to feel that pull
turns out I just pulled myself
she would never go with me
we're not all that's good on earth

i'm dumb she's a lesbian
i thought i had found the one
we were good as married in my mind
but married in my mind's no good

pink triangle on her sleeve
let me know the truth
let me know the truth

might have smoked a few in my time
would never thought it was a crime
knew the day would surely come
when i'd chill and settle down
when i think i've found a good old fashioned girl
then she put me in my place
everyone's a little queer
oh, can't she be a little straight

i'm dumb she's a lesbian
i thought i had found the one
we were good as married in my mind
but married in my mind's no good

pink triangle on her sleeve
let me know the truth
let me know the truth

-weezer, pink triangle
(funny song. :)

I have a love-hate relationship with my body. i don't know why. i always figured i would be the last person in the world to feel fat, or to wish i weighed less, or had less of a tummy. it's only recently that this has developed - in the last 3 or 4 months. a big part of this is probably living in a dorm (read: a breeding-ground of eating disorders). the food is starchy and full of carbohydrates, and the girls are thin. combining these two is lethal to the self-esteem of every female within.

i try to rationalize this sort of thing. i go between periods of thinking "i should just be anorexic, that would be easier. my clothes would fit, and i would look hot." and "fuck it. i don't need to be persuaded by peer pressure and the media to feel as if i am not beautiful. i am perfectly fine. i am perfect." this dichotomy is hard on a person. i know that i am not too fat, but i wish that this little fat deposit on my stomach would go away. however, rationalization doesn't always work. i can't reconcile my two armies.

i look at a picture of myself, taken in mid-october, in which my stomach is exposed. and i cry. i really do. i notice that i was wearing the jeans that i tried on yesterday to no avail. the only other pair of pants that i thought i owned that fit. in the picture i am wearing these pants, and they are loose on me. today i can't wear them.

the clincher, however, is the way when i stand profile to the mirror and look at myself, my stomach sticks out farther than do my breasts.

i live in two worlds. the magazines, the pants, the mirror, all tell me one thing, while logic tells me another. i don't know what i can do. but really, wouldn't it be nice to own more than one pair of pants that i can wear without watching my stomach spill over the waistband?

why did i eat 14 girl scout cookies earlier today? do i want to be fat?

why does attempting to write an ihum paper launch me into a body image spiral? I had better work.

hit of the day: someone from parliament.uk (which, no, is not a porn site, and yes, is the site for the british parliament) visited my humble webpage! yaaaaay!

hehe.

this is completely beyond me.

Maybe it's just late, but I find this highly hilarious...

Care and Training: Short haired should be brushed gently or wiped with a damp cloth.

(taken from this chihuahua website)

*sigh* time for bed?

ahh, another day of not going to IHum lecture. someday, this will catch up on me. not today, though. :P

It's been awhile since I've posted. Let's see... yesterday was pretty normal. the weather was beyond gorgeous. it's like that again today, but a tad bit hazier... still, in the 70's in february! it makes me happy to think that i could get a sunburn in february. (:

mikey's feeling a bit under the weather... :( hopefully it's nothing worse than strep throat (god forbid he have mono!!!!!) and it'll clear up in a few days. hopefully that "few days" will be before Viennese. i'm not going to think about that right now. (:

list of shit kat has to do:

• japanese vocab quiz tomorrow


• math problem set due thursday


• math midterm thurs. night


• ihum paper due tuesday


• ihum discussion to lead next thursday


• seminar discussion to lead next wednesday


• seminar paper presentation sometime in the next week and a half


• have a mental breakdown

aaaaaaack. and doooooom.

lunchtime.

I think i've decided in the past couple weeks or so to be a product design major. perhaps i've just been inspired by the new imac and have been thinking a whole lot about the way aesthetics play into the functionality of a gadget. Jamie told me that she read somewhere that girls are more aroused by gadgets than by flowers... how true it is. I'm also working on a project for my language and gender in japan seminar about marketing in japan and the way cellphones are much more targeted to specific audiences (they come in pastel pink) in japan than in the us... i wonder if this is a result of "kawaii" culture or if it comes from the same cultural aspect or what. it should make for an interesting paper.

but anyway, i'm thinking about taking intro to design next quarter as my 4th class. it's required for the product design major, and is only 3 units, and sounds like a generally good time. i was going to take ME101 next quarter, but i think that having ME and PWR at the same time would be just too much. so i'll shop art 60 (intro to design) and a physics class and see which i should take.

oh, dammit. i just looked up art 60... it's only offered in the autumn. :( maybe ME120 (History and philosophy of design)? or ME110A (design sketching)? hmm. this is entertaining. screw studying, i'm gonna go play with the bulletin.

parent's weekend. broomball.

(disclaimer. th typing onthis psot is going to suck, becausemy thumb got bashed pretty hard atbroomball last night and ithas trouble hitting the spacebar. so if the spaces are off, well, blame it on kevin christopher,because he'sthe one who bashed it. :)

so it's parent's weekend...dad is in town,whcih iscool. went to in'n'out last night with him last night ... hopefully tonight i'll get real food too. that'd becool. tonight also party at narnia (yaaay!) which will be pretty cool.

ok, enough... time to go water my thumb. (there's no ice,but the waterfountain is pretty cold :)

too much fun with paint. weee!



hehehehe.

Last "bush sucks" post today, i promise... Bush's controversial bid to promote marriage

a sidenote:
I don't think witchcraft is a religion. I would hope the military officials would take a second look at the decision they made."
G.W. Bush (R), as Governor of Texas. Interviewed on ABC's Good Morning America, 1999-JUN-24.

It's official... hell hath frozen over, and Geoge Bush has been nominated for Nobel Peace Prize. Do we not know the meaning of the word "peace"???

you know, this guy just might be right. i think i'm convinced! there's no such thing as evolution! Duh! Key of Knowledge

ah, hmmm, erm... am i the only one HIGHLY DISTURBED BY THIS?? BBC Pentagon plans propaganda war

Believe it or not, but at 8.02pm on February 20 this year will be an historic moment in time. It will not be marked by the chiming of any clocks or the ringing of bells, but at that precise time, on that specific date, something will happen which has not occurred for 1,001 years and will never happen again.

As the clock ticks over from 8.01pm on Wednesday, February 20, time will, for sixty seconds only, read in perfect symmetry 2002, 2002, 2002, or to be more precise - 20:02, 20/02, 2002.

This historic event will never have the same poignancy as the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month which marks Armistice Day, but it is an event which has only ever happened once before, and is something which will never be repeated.

The last occasion that time read in such a symmetrical pattern was long before the days of the digital watch and the 24-hour clock - at 10.01am on January 10, 1001.

And because the clock only goes up to 23.59, it is something that will never happen again.

new screenshot. nice and ironic. yaaaay irony.

university of arizona students thrust crotches at oversized balls. enough said.

god help me, i'm actually seriously desiring one of these. aaack. i thought i was a die-hard windows fan... but the new mac is sooo sexy... and powerful... now, if only i had $1500 to blow on a new imac...

yesterday was the big day in the city. fear not, a whole shitload of pictures are on the way, they're just still on jamie's camera... they'll probably be up later today or tomorrow.

we got started bright and early, catching the 10:29 caltrain out of palo alto, which got to the san francisco (4th and king) station about 11:40. wandered up stockton and through the metreon (a huge sony store, basically... trying to turn their merchandise into a museum). from there we walked up to the shopping area up stockton, checking out old navy (mike had never been in one!! what the hell?) and virgin megastore. looked at, but did not buy, overpriced cd's. we headed up to union square (which is, unfortunately, under construction, so we didn't get to do anything there). then we wandered down through chinatown. looked in a bunch of cute little shops, ate lunch at a really good restaurant, had pearl milk tea... then we walked down to fisherman's wharf and did all the tourist shit there. that is, all the free tourist shit. (: after fisherman's wharf, we wandered up through ghirardhelli square and up to van ness avenue, where we caught a bus to the market street subway station, and got on a subway out in the direction of the Haight. we spent a few hours wandering around the Haight, especially this huge music store called amoeba music, which is fucking insanely large and inexpensive. they have new and used cd's, tapes, vinyl, posters... they had a clearance cd section, and we bought 4 cd's for $3, including a vintage Toadies cd, the Blue October album, and two really, really odd ambient/trance cd's. it was pouring when we came out of amoeba, so we didn't see that much more of the neighborhood, just a few punk shops (saw a shirt that said "fuck milk, got pot?" and stuff) and the salvation army, at which i bought a horrendously ugly NSYNC shirt and a bunch of bubbles for like $3. by the time we left the salvation army it was pouring, so we left the haight and went to a little cafe to eat. (i didn't get anything pierced. i was pondering it, but there wasn't time, and i really don't have enough money to do something like that. oh well.) random side note: in the cafe, there were 2 japanese women behind us. one made a call on her cell phone - and i understood almost everything she was saying to the person on the other end. it was her boyfriend's mother, as i understood, and he was out, and she wanted to confirm that they had a date that night. it was really cool. anyway, then we caught the subway back to the caltrain station and the caltrain back to palo alto. it was, all in all, a highly fun day - i'm really glad we went. (:

heh heh heh... take this survey. I am 71% addicted to Instant Messenger. How about you?

mmm, blog time.

today was valentine's day... it was good. i enjoyed the day. last night was the vagina monologes... very good performance. i definitely enjoyed it. today i hung out with mikey (of course...)... we went to gelato and pearl milk tea and coho. it was like, weee! cubed. that was cool. skit tomorrow in japanese... i think i know my lines well enough.

so about 10 minutes ago i spilled an entire glass of water all over my desk. fortunately my computer is propped up a quarter-inch by stacks of post-its, because i figured out that lack of air circulation beneath it was causing the overheating/shutting down problem. so i took care of that. so, it was safe during the flood. my mouse got hit, but it seems to work fine. unfortunately it killed the card that mikey made for me (i think i salvaged it) and the card my mommy sent me, which was drawn by an 11-year-old with cancer. and my mousepad got wet, but it's fine. it'll dry. same with my jeans. eh, oh well. i'll survive.

tomorrow, no classes until 1:15. yaaaaay! if it's nice, i'll spend the late morning in the hammock that michelle (props!) so kindly put up outside. if not, then i'll compulsively clean the room. this weekend, i only have one roommate, because heather's going to the california democratic convention. that should be a good time... i wish i had time to go. but, instead, i get to go to the city on saturday with mikey! yaaaay! (:

okay. more water maintenance, then some cleaning, then bed.

ah, valentine's day... nothing like being woken up at 6:50 by boys in suits. what sucks now, though, is that i can't go back to bed after i've been talking to people. something weird about me. plus, i'm drinking yummy coffee. it was funny to see heather walk in after she got home this morning... she missed the rollout, and the breakfast, and the boys in ties. the price we pay for a little ass.

i'll go take a shower in a few... i could go to breakfast, but oh yeah, i've already had breakfast. mmm. (:

yaaaaaay valentine's day!

new screen name: aladariel. update your buddy lists. (:

go ahead, Poke the Bunny. you know you wanna...

god this is too fucking funny. i jump every time.

let's see. today is wednesday. wednesday. majors fair tonight. maybe i'll think of something to major in. then, vagina monologues tonight! yaaaaaay vagina monologues. that'll be fun. also a chapter of math to finish. might need some help with it but i suppose i can handle it.

tomorrow is valentine's day. that's always an exciting holiday. hopefully people will make stupid valentines and give them to their friends. i always hated the ones that didn't have candy in them, unless they were care bears or something else fun.

last night, i finally saw "rejected". it's funny. see the screenshot? little guy goes "my spoon is too big!" (pause) "my Spoon is Too Big!" (pause) "MAH SPOON IS TOOOO BIG!!" (pause) (banana walks on screen) (pause) (pause) (pause) "I am a banana!" weeeee! so, yeah. that was highly entertaining.

after that, mike and i cohoed it up. i got a lot of ihum read. then we went to monday night flomo dance, which was a lot of fun. i should do that more often. then i went to the gym and worked out with becky. it was a lot of fun.

now, however, i'm feeling "aaaack" again... japanese is sneaking up on me to kick my ass. we have a skit due friday... that's an "aaack." i have a problem set due in math on thursday, but i have vagina monologues tomorrow night and tonight other stuff. there's another "aaack." in my seminar i have to start thinking about my final project. that's an 8 to 10 page paper. aaaack. i have ihum section this afternoon. ew. we get our midterms back in math today. yikes. grrrr. this week is shaping up to suck pretty bad. why didn't i do anything this weekend??

i need to find some time to go shopping for a dress for viennese ball. mom sent my prom dress, which i got today... it still zips, but i understand why 19th century women fainted so often. so, yeah. i need a new one.

i really should go to the gym tonight.

i feel horrendously full after a meal which consisted of a salad, some fruit, and a slice of cherry pie. i wonder why.

i want to go read somewhere. i should go to the library or the coho. that'd be cool. hmm. branner feud meeting at 6:30, probably over about 7 or 7:15. from there i could go read at the coho, then work out, then go dancing. or coho, dancing, work out. depending on what is up with becky. i also really need to do laundry. *sigh* too much non-school stuff this week. but hey, that's cool. better than midterms.

aaack, the branner newsletter never got published last week. i'm a bad, bad secretary.

new screenshot. yaaaaaay! i am a banana! my spoon is too big! hopefully i'll actually *see* this short sometime soon...

in other news, (long-ass pause) i don't really have anything else to say. umm... yeah. busy week coming up in terms of non-school stuff. not so much school stuff really, a lot of ihum reading and a problem set and japanese hw, but no midterms or papers due. thank god. but extracurriculars - a lot. tonight, a couple meetings about dorm-related stuff - branner yearbook, planning for branner feud - and then flomo dance. tomorrow, there's a one-act in the lounge at 8:30, a PAA study break at 10, a house gov meeting at 11. wednesday there's a majors fair and then vagina monologues at 10. thursday is v-day. don't know if i have plans for that yet, eh. also champagne and chocolate in the roble lounge that night. that'll be good. and then it's friday again. shit. how does that happen?

maybe this weekend mike and i will go into the city. yaaaaay!

hip hip hooray for cheesy romantic comedies and random-ass trips to Secret Safeway. and, hooray for hershey's nuggets (the toffee flavored ones) and french bread. and, hooray for sleep.

weeeee for random trips to in'n'out. about 2 hours ago i decided that i wanted to go to in'n'out. so mike drove me to in'n'out. i got a cheeseburger, animal style. it was yummy. it was my first trip to in'n'out. i definitely approve of their burgers. also their menu has 4 food items on it: double-double, hamburger, cheeseburger, fries. then drinks and shakes. i like the simplicity. i also like the randomness of the trip.

mulholland pointed out that i hadn't blogged about last night. so i suppose i will. last night was "screw your roommate." which involves setting your roommate up on a blind date. but since i have mikey, i decided to forgo the blind and just go for the date. we set up kevin with michelle from downstairs. so mikey and kevin and michelle and i went to the creamery for dinner and then to the dance. there was a reception first, at which i played bartender. that was really fun. i got to serve up beer and pear cider and hard lemonade. really entertaining. i got to see a lot of people and distribute happiness in the form of a red cup. then we had a dance. the dance was a lot of fun... just chilling and dancing. weee! (: all in all, a good night.

now, i have to decide what to do tonight.

Ohh, it's another gorgeous day here at stanford... i can't handle being indoors. i've been out here on the lawn in front of branner for almost an hour and a half now. it's so beautiful... not a single cloud in the sky, green grass, warm (probably in the mid-70's)... a bit of a mild breeze... i finished agamemnon about a half-hour ago and am now studying japanese. greek tragedies suck. they're hard to understand, and once you understand them, they're depressing.

most of the fun of studying outside is not the studying but watching people come and go. it's really interesting. a few hours ago a bunch of early high-schoolers schlepped by carrying bags that said "raytheon" on them - probably some sort of high school visitation program. entertaining, though.

a couple of minutes michelle lee came outside and set up a hammock under the magnolia closest to me. that looks comfortable. i wish i had a hammock... keeps you off the moist ground, which tends to be lumpy and hard as well. ah well - i have my blanket to lay on.

okay, back to nihongo... vocab quiz on monday... :P

new feature: see kat's screen shot.

winner: josh joplin. he responded to my email in 2 hours and 3 minutes. and gave me blanket permission to pirate his music whenever i want. what a cool guy.

i think that perhaps one of the most beautiful things a person can witness is a sunrise. it's truly magical. most of us miss them, we go to bed too early and get up too late to watch them. i had the opportunity to watch the sky grow light this morning - it was amazing. everything is dark, and you can't make out where the buildings end and the sky starts, until slowly but surely parts of the black turn to dark, dark blue. the sky gradually gets lighter and lighter. this morning it was overcast, so the world started to turn a grey-blue color. hints of light blue started to peek through the cloudiness and were hidden again. the sunrise wasn't so spectacular, really, it was just something i hadn't experienced in awhile. it was really nice to see one again.

i suppose the last time i watched the sun rise was this summer, during my commute to work. i would leave the house when it was barely that dark blue-orange color, and my office was east of my home, so i would watch the sun peek above the horizon every morning. it was especially interesting to see the way the place the sun rose from changed from day to day and week to week. but truly magical was watching the brilliant orange globe slowly peep over the horizon and then climb in the sky. it was really a cool thing to watch.

i'm glad i stayed up this morning to watch the sunrise. i needed it.

oh my god, can we talk about what i just did? so i was chilling with nicole in her room, introducing her to the miracle of a band that is josh joplin group, etc when we get the idea to totally re-arrange her room. we started this endeavor about 2:45. bad idea, sleep is not an option in that case. so, it's almost 5 now that we're done... it seems a shame to go to bed now. perhaps i'll work on my math problem set. go watch the sun rise. go to class. eat lunch. go to class. crash.

that sounds like a good idea. fuck sleep. i haven't done any all-nighters at all this year... why not start now?

previous post was written about 1:15 this afternoon, not 4:36.

Just a quick note on how amazingly beautiful the weather is today. i couldn't bear to go to a dank classroom in the basement of the math building and sit through a lecture when the weather is so amazing. so now, i'm sitting on the steps in front of the big red fountain between meyer and green libraries. i'm going to study math now. it's gorgeous. weeee!

last night, i went to chuck e cheese with the qsspa. that was super fun. i got a bunch of tickets and bought some play-doh with them. also we crawled around in the tubes and the ball pit and ate pizza. it was really awesome. way better than studying for a midterm or something.

also last night, studied and stuff. wrote a paper which took me 45 minutes to get finished. it was on the portrayal of women in the media. i might put it up on my website eventually, because it's good, and i haven't put anything up on the website recently. hmm.

anyway, it's getting close to time to go to math.

today is a good day because i am wearing my hair in princess leia buns. that makes it a good day, by definition. weeee!

Stale coffee, auto-mat
Tired candy staring back
At my ghost in the glare of florescent hues

Transparent plastic wrap
This could be the only map
That I'll need, cause I'm much to lost to lose

My duffel bag is packed, I'm ready to go
The sun is coming up to melt the snow
I feel fine for the first time in a long time
I feel fine for the first time in a while

Bus station bathroom stall
New Deal mural on the wall
Simple life why did you have to leave

Cathedral ceilings hold their breath
The ticket taker is all who's left
As for me I have no one to meet

My duffel bag is packed, I'm ready to go
The sun is coming up to melt the snow
I feel fine for the first time in a long time
I feel fine for the first time in a while

Bossa nova down town beat
Iponema is calling me
And a girl I used to love is gone
I look around me and see my soul
Sleeping restless in every row
All at once I am glad I am not alone

My duffel bag is packed, I'm ready to go
The sun is coming up to melt the snow
I feel fine for the first time in a long time
I feel fine for the first time in a while

jjg, "trailways"

um, yeah, if you join theJosh Joplin Group - Street Team you can get free stuff. weeeeeeeeeeee!

mmmm, late night paper o kakimashita. that was bad nihonglish. i just got back from late night, at which i drank three cups of coffee and wrote one ihum paper. muchos arigato gozaimasus to mikey, who helped me with both. weeee caffeine! weee ihum! waaaait....

anyway, nihonglish midterm is wednesday. perhaps i should study for that.

i know i'm up too late when my norton starts running in the background while i'm on the computer. yeah, that would be right now.

happy belated birthday to joel. i celebrated by working on my ihum paper. it's due tomorrow. that will be a relief... anyway, we need to hang out at some point because i feel bad for not doing something on your birthday. damn you for being born during midterms-and-papers week. :P love you, joelypoo.

what was that jewish word? mazel tov? i hope that's applicable right now 'cause it's all i can say.

Beneath the snow lies a dream that I once had
And I know that I'll never go back
To the Christmas colored neighborhood as thoughtful as a card
With a plastic baby Jesus in the yard

It was all and it was nothing at all
It was all and it was nothing at all

What we didn't know we didn't think to ask
The world was just a globe they used in class
Where the gym teacher was always mad and as far as we could tell
He only exercised his right to yell

It was all and it was nothing at all
It was all and it was nothing at all

As the kings of boredom we ruled as we knew how
Or at least as long as our curfews would allow
Couple skates, love-sick songs, in moments without pause
As Johnny Cougar amplified our cause

It was all and it was nothing at all
It was all and it was nothing at all

We were the great believers that dreams came with stars
And freedom just depended on the car
Until one day the sky fell in and freedom lost control
And ran off the road and hit a pole

It was all and it was nothing at all
It was all and it was nothing at all

Beneath the snow lies a dream that I once had

-"Dutch Wonderland" by josh joplin group

well, shit. blogger seems to have eaten a totally long and involved post i just did. grr.

ok, here's the re-creation thereof:

it's been awhile since i really posted... other than random linkage. let's see. friday night was special dinner at narnia... that was good. good food, good people... good.

saturday night was tenrsex. we went to su hong's and then hijacked the forum room in meyer and watched the big lebowski. also had white russians, in keeping with the character in the movie. great movie. highly entertaining. good lines such as "mr treehorn treats objects like women, man" and "you're out of your element, donny..." and "I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or Duder. His Dudeness. Or El Duderino, if,you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing." i enjoyed it.

tonight we went to see stomp! in the city. that was super-cool. super-fun. funny. entertaining. i enjoyed it.

okay, gonna copy this to the clipboard so that if blogger eats it, i will be able to recover it.

"know him? dude, arjun is the reason we're all still virgins!" -random paly kid in su hong's, apparently an acquaintance of a member of my sexion

omg, did blogger just eat my last post?

weee, read funny classifieds! god these things are hilarious... "CHRIST ON A BIKE. Plays theme from Animal Hospital." Weeee!

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | A tale of one man and his blog

This is cool. Wow. Evan Williams is a god.

"aaaack" has returned as my away message. this means i got a 6.5 on a vocab quiz i thought i had gotten a 9 on, and even though my math midterm is over, i am still stressed. there's an ihum paper due tuesday. aaack. japanese is still kicking my ass. aaack. i understand the newest grammar structure we've learned, the -te imasu form, but that doesn't shed light on anything else. nor does it make memorizing 50 vocab words at 1AM one night any easier. or write the paper that i have to do in seminar for wednesday. it looks like any moment i have free this weekend will be spent on japanese and ihum. aaack. i'm tabling in white plaza from 12 to 1 to register voters. aaack.

special dinner should prove to be fun tonight. but it basically takes up between 6pm and god knows when i wake up tomorrow morning. tomorrow will be devoted to ihum paperage and japanese homework. really studying japanese, not clinging onto japanese for dear life.*sigh.*

aaaack.

been awhile (like, almost 24 hours) since i've posted. just got back from the math 51 midterm. we seem to have reached a draw. it didn't ass-rape me, and i didn't kick its ass to china. i suppose it's better than it could have been.

ihum paper is getting ready to kick my ass next. before that, however, coho, work out, margarita night(?)(virgin?), and mikey time. then friday. friday night special dinner. weeee! saturday night tenrsex. time to convince rojo that i'm really not a booze mooch, that i actually enjoy doing stuff with the band, but i have too much shit on my plate this quarter.

i've also become a musicmatch convert. it's better than windows media.

okay, time to go to coho for coffee then margarita night. weeeee!

jenny: hey, are you and mike still going out?
me: yeah, why?
jenny: i dunno, i don't see him around that much anymore.
me: we've both been super-busy this quarter. we're still together, trust me.
door: knock knock
(enter MIKEY, with two pearl milk teas)
me: hello.

It just occured to me that I really haven't had a breakdown since I got here. I suppose i'm due, then. i feel overworked. i feel like i can't handle the workload i have. i feel like taking 19 units was a really stupid idea. i wonder if i should drop my seminar. the problem is that dropping the seminar wouldn't solve the problem, since it really hasn't proven to be so much work yet. the problem is that i don't understand my math class, i'm falling behind in my japanese class (i got a "dooshiten deshita ka" on my last quiz, meaning "what happened?") and i can't keep up with the reading for ihum. i have a paper due in that class on tuesday, and i have no idea what i'm going to write it about. i have a vocab quiz in japanese on thursday which is conveniently the same day as my math midterm. the only option really would be to drop my seminar. i wouldn't do it because it's so much work, but because it's an hour and a half, 2 days a week, when i could be working on math or ihum or japanese. the seminar is something i really wanted to take though, and i would feel terrible dropping it because there were so many people on the waiting list that could have taken it in my place, and done well, and enjoyed it. and if i'm going to minor in japanese, this class will help me. who am i kidding, minor in japanese? ha. i can't speak the fucking language. i don't understand it. i forget vocab the day after the quiz.

i wonder if the girl who plowed into me on her bike realizes that that was the last straw in me officially declaring today a horrible day. i saw her coming. i looked at her and was like, that girl is going to hit me. i moved off to the left, and she swerved off to her right, the same direction as i was going. then bam, she hit me. right square on my right leg. i jammed my finger trying to grab her handlebars to keep her from hitting me too. i wasn't hurt, but for some reason after that my tailbone started to hurt again. like leftover from those horrible snowboard wipeouts i had 2 weeks ago. i hope it's not fractured or anything. *sigh*

i need to have an emotional breakdown, but i have a full-time roommate who never goes to class. and she's busy talking to kelli about some cute guy she met.

and i have so much i need to do that i can't handle it. i should really consider dropping my seminar.

and i need to go to the post office, but i'm scared to go back outside. i had a very-near bike collision yesterday, a girl in my dorm had a huge accident yesterday morning and knocked out a tooth, and i got hit today on my way back home from japanese. i can't handle this. they should outlaw bikes. they're dangerous.

"i'm losing and failing
when i move, i'm flailing"
-blink 182

Theoretically I should be working on my math homework, but I just listened to Rufus Wainwright's Hallelujah from the Shrek soundtrack which is an amazingly beautiful song, so i feel now like i need to blog.

Mike and I just had a beautiful deep conversation about reality and deity. what i can explain from it is that we decided that there is harsh reality, and then there is your perception of reality. you and you alone decide what the difference between the harshness and your perception is - whether it includes God, Buddha, Jesus, the Goddess, or whatever. It's an interesting idea. I propose that everyone in the world should invent their own religion, and create it around whatever you feel is important. study every religion that you can find, and decide what aspects of each you enjoy. i find that i like a lot of elements of pagan religions, buddhism, sufism, and other Eastern philosophies, and fewer elements of Western religions (although Jesus was a super-smart guy and there are a lot of lessons to be learned from the bible). to each his own though is the most important thing. everyone needs to decide exactly what they want to incorporate into their personal reality perception model.

right now i've given up on figuring out what i have in mine and am doing math homework.

Nîn o Chithaeglir
lasto beth daer;
Rimmo nîn Bruinen
dan in Ulaer!

Lament for Gandalf (known as Mithrandir to the elves of Lothlorien)

A Olorin i yaresse
--Olorin, who once was...
Mentener i Numeherui
--Sent by the Lords of the West
Tirien i Romenori
--To guard the lands of the East
Maiaron i Oiosaila
--Wisest of all Maiar
Manan elye etevanne
--What drove you to leave
Norie i melanelye?
--That which you loved?

Mithrandir, Mithrandir, A Randir Vithren
--Mithrandir, Mithrandir O Pilgrim Grey
u-reniathach i amar galen
--No more will you wander the green fields of this earth
I reniad lin ne mor, nuithannen
--Your journey has ended in darkness.
In gwidh ristennin, i fae narchannen
--The bonds cut, the spirit broken
I lach Anor ed ardhon gwannen
--The flame of Arnor has left this World
Caled veleg, ethuiannen.
--A great light has gone out.

haven't posted for awhile. i don't know why, exactly. let's see. it was, all in all, a great weekend, considering the fact that mikey was out of town :( which would usually cause the weekend to have a Propensity to Suck (tm). anyway, it was roomie heather's birthday on saturday, so we had cake and a party... which was fun. we got all dressed up cute and went out to SAE, which was actually a decent party. usually frat parties suck, and i wonder why the hell i ever end up going. but this one was not just decent but good. it wasn't too crowded at the beginning (they had a list, which means if you're a guy, you're screwed, but if you're a girl you take off your jacket and ask them if they're sure your name isn't on the list.) which was cool. the beer was shitty, of course, but they were making sno-cones (!) with vodka in them. wow, that was good. an awesome idea. they also were doing shots through an ice sculpture, which was a really neat idea. there was styrofoam all over the floor too, giving it a snowy sort of theme. anyway, the party was fun. the entertainment highlight of the evening was totally freak dancing with some kid from my ihum section. i think it was just the pleather pants. he couldn't keep his hands off them. (: weee pleather! when i came home i ended up watching part of Lord of the Rings on jenny's computer, which was cool. she's downloaded 2/3 of the movie, so I watched the middle third (the first one is what she doesn't have yet).

all in all, a successful weekend, and a good birthday for heather. hopefully next weekend will be just as good (special dinner! stomp! weeee!) or better. (: it'll be better, because i can spend time with mikey. yay!

Ok, time to study japanese. nihongo o benkyoosuru. nihongo o benkyooshinakatta.

i wish i could remember more of the dream i had last night. i only remember the end of it. i think it took place in middle-earth, because that was the feeling i had at the end was that the ring of power had just been destroyed. we were climbing a hill to watch the sunset over the now-amazing landscape. we were climbing the east side of a green valley. the east side was rocky, but not too hard to climb, but below us there was a beautiful green valley with a blue stream and then on the other side were hills and then mountains. but the mountains, as we destroyed the ring, went away (i assume they were the mountains bordering Mordor or something.) and left the sun to set behind the hills. the valley was bathed in a peaceful orange-pink light, and the clouds went from grey to blue as the mountains vanished. i remember the sun setting behind the hills and suddenly it was dark and colorless, but then the moon rose, at the same place where the sun set (i know, it doesn't work this way :), going the other directions, and cast a silver light across the entire valley. it was breathtaking. if i were an artist i'd paint the scene. but i'm not, so i have to leave it in my brain.

today... ahh, today. did anything exciting happen? let's see. japanese this morning, mikey got some points by bringing me tea. that was super-nice of him. it was delicious tea. (: i do love tea, especially when i'm sick. japanese class, other than the tea, was uneventful. then i went to ihum lecture. i realize now that i haven't blogged about ihum yet. this quarter i'm taking "power and passion: women and men from the bible to beckett." the professor is marsh mccall. he's pretty pompous. invokes the wrath of yahweh frequently etc. anyway, yeah. he's a bit of an ass. so i sat through that. this afternoon i had math section with joe the adorable math ta. he's a grad student. lyndsie and i sit there in class and go "awwww!" at him because he's an adorable little math guy. it's funny. then i had ihum section. enough said.

after class i went over to narnia and hung with mikey a little. we watched clue. what a classic movie. and by "classic" i mean "so stupid it's brilliant." it has such glitteringly classic lines as: "I'm a plant." "I thought men like you were called a fruit." ... "Communism was only a red herring!" ... "I'm going home to sleep with my wife!" yeah. it's a good movie. so mikey's gone for the weekend, snowboarding again, the little bastard. which means i have the weekend to myself. i have no idea what i'm going to do. saturday night, one act plays perhaps. work on the dorm newsletter, likely. study japanese, read tolkien (perhaps start unfinished tales?) (what would happen if i was done reading the unfinished tales? "i finished the unfinished tales." hmm...). do math. ponder ihum paperage. hmmmm. well, i'm sure i'll be bored and lonely, but i'll probably get shitloads done.

tomorrow is friday. 2 classes: japanese and math. i can handle that. i might even go to the 11am japanese, for the sake of some sleep. not much incentive to go to the 10am, when mikey's off snowboarding. :P

this is a long blog.

hmm. i suppose i should start thinking about spring break. any suggestions?

i support queer rights.
if you do too, and you're a stanford student, sign the outlist. it's not just a good idea, it's... um... something. (: weeeee!

This is too cute. damnthepacific dot com

Do you not hear me anymore
I know it's cool to be so bored
I know it's not your thing to care
But it sucks me in
when you're aloof
It sucks me in, it sucks it works
I guess it's cool to be alone
Will you never rest
Fighting the battle of who
Could care less
Everyday you wake up late
Sometimes I wish I was
that way

And you think Rockford Files is cool
But there are some things
that you would change
if it were up to you
So think about your masterpiece
Watch the Rockford Files
Call to see if Paul can score some weed.

Will you never rest
Fighting the battle of who could care less
Unearned unhappiness
That's ok I guess...

I've go this great idea
Why don't we pitch it to the Franklin Fucking Mint
Fine pewter portraits of
general apathy and major boredom singing...
Whatever and ever Amen
Oh well maybe not try again
This should cheer you up for sure
See I've got your old I.D.
And you're all dressed up like the Cure
Will you never rest
fighting the battle
of who could care less
unearned unhappiness
You're my hero I confess

"Battle of Who Could Care Less"
ben folds five